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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 750617" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"Goofy Ways to Stay Safe and Healthy in Today's Hazardous World" (Joe Hickman)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Stop breathing ozone immediately. You know you can if you try.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Do not strike matches near an open nuclear power plant.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Do not rub either your scalp or your bosom with the latest scientific breakthrough.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Never sit next to strangers in movie theaters, churches, or hot tubs.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Avoid harmful fats -- particularly those named Ben and Jerry .</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Never go swimming immediately after eating a day-old tuna and mayo sandwich.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Avoid death-defying rides at amusement parks -- especially those that have carried 10 million people without an accident.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Avoid wearing tight designer jeans, since the dye used in some designer labels, when sat on by laboratory rats, caused dishpan tail.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Avoid medical care by licensed physicians. Even if the treatment causes no harmful side-effects, the bill can prove fatal.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Be satisfied with what you have. Stay away from pyramid parties, gurus, Nigerian email offers, and marriage counselors.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Follow the wise though goofy suggestions above and you will have an excellent chance at survival. But just in case, always wear clean underwear. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 750617, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman]"Goofy Ways to Stay Safe and Healthy in Today's Hazardous World" (Joe Hickman) Stop breathing ozone immediately. You know you can if you try. Do not strike matches near an open nuclear power plant. Do not rub either your scalp or your bosom with the latest scientific breakthrough. Never sit next to strangers in movie theaters, churches, or hot tubs. Avoid harmful fats -- particularly those named Ben and Jerry . Never go swimming immediately after eating a day-old tuna and mayo sandwich. Avoid death-defying rides at amusement parks -- especially those that have carried 10 million people without an accident. Avoid wearing tight designer jeans, since the dye used in some designer labels, when sat on by laboratory rats, caused dishpan tail. Avoid medical care by licensed physicians. Even if the treatment causes no harmful side-effects, the bill can prove fatal. Be satisfied with what you have. Stay away from pyramid parties, gurus, Nigerian email offers, and marriage counselors. Follow the wise though goofy suggestions above and you will have an excellent chance at survival. But just in case, always wear clean underwear. [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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