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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 757721" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><strong><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">ZEN TEACHINGS</span></span></u></strong></span></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> <em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">1.</span></span></u></em><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>2.</u> Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. </span></span></em><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></u></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">3. </span></span></u></em><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.</span></span></em><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"></span></span><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></u></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">4.</span></span></u></em><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"> Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>5.</u> Never test the depth of the water with both feet. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>6.</u> If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>7.</u> Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>8.</u> If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>9.</u> Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>10. </u>If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>11. </u>If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>12. </u>Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>13. </u>Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>14. </u>Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>15. </u>A closed mouth gathers no foot. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>16. </u>There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>17. </u>Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. </span></span></em> </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"></span></span></u></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><u><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">18. </span></span></u></em><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>19. </u>We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just keep getting worse. <u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u></u></span></span></em></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><em><span style="color: maroon"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><u>20.</u> No one is listening until you fart. </span></span></em> </span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'">=</span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 757721, member: 1246"] [COLOR=#000000][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]ZEN TEACHINGS[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/B][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR] [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]1.[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/I][I][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana] Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. [U] 2.[/U] Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana] 3. [/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/I][I][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.[/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][I][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana] 4.[/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/I][I][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana] Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. [U] 5.[/U] Never test the depth of the water with both feet. [U] 6.[/U] If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. [U] 7.[/U] Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [U] 8.[/U] If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. [U] 9.[/U] Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. [U] 10. [/U]If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. [U] 11. [/U]If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. [U] 12. [/U]Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. [U] 13. [/U]Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. [U] 14. [/U]Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment. [U] 15. [/U]A closed mouth gathers no foot. [U] 16. [/U]There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. [U] 17. [/U]Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#1F497D][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][I][U][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana] 18. [/FONT][/COLOR][/U][/I][I][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Verdana]Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. [U] 19. [/U]We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just keep getting worse. [U] 20.[/U] No one is listening until you fart. [/FONT][/COLOR][/I][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#1F497D][FONT=Arial][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial]=[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#8000FF][FONT=Lucida Calligraphy][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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