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Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 770897" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="color: blue">Truths For Mature Humans..........</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">6. Was learning cursive really necessary? </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.</span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">10. Bad decisions make good stories. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue"> when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> </span></p><p><span style="color: blue">13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of MS-Word</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue"> and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> </span></p><p><span style="color: blue">16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue"> I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> Stay strong, brothers and sisters! </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> </span></p><p><span style="color: blue">22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket,</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> and the first helmet was used in 1974. </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"> That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.</span></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'sans-serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #1f497d"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'sans-serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #1f497d"></span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 770897, member: 1246"] [COLOR=blue]Truths For Mature Humans.......... 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of MS-Word[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?"[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket,[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] and the first helmet was used in 1974. [/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue] That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.[/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=serif][/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#1F497D][FONT=sans-serif][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=sans-serif][SIZE=4][COLOR=#1f497d] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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