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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 840728" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Texas Humor........</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Onced and twiced are words.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Coldbeer is one word.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Fix-in-to is one word.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You measure distance in minutes or hours.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The first day of deer season is a state holiday.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You know which leaves make good toilet paper.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal- Martin" or "off to Wally-world."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili- eatin' weather.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 840728, member: 1246"] [FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Texas Humor........ Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! Nothing will kill a mesquite tree. Onced and twiced are words. Coldbeer is one word. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor. Fix-in-to is one word. There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two. "Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?" You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see. You measure distance in minutes or hours. You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. Stores don't have bags. They have sacks. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are. You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco. You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent. Sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts. The first day of deer season is a state holiday. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm. All four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal- Martin" or "off to Wally-world." You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili- eatin' weather. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor. [/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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