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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 95218" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong>Re: Heard any good ones?</strong></p><p></p><p>THINGS A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FATHERHOOD</p><p> </p><p>Don't worry, your dad didn't know what *he* was doing, either.</p><p> </p><p>Never tell anybody you and your wife are "trying" to have a baby. We really don't need the visual, that's why.</p><p> </p><p>Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his or her mother, and for the first year you are merely a curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>For a couple of years after that, an amusement park ride. Then, a referee. Finally, a bank.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There is nothing wrong with thumb-sucking. It helps to ease the pain of teething. It should, however, probably stop before high school.</p><p> </p><p>Boys are better because they can't get pregnant. Girls are better because they're less likely to be arrested.</p><p> </p><p>All punishments should reduce the number of disagreeable tasks you would normally have to perform.</p><p> </p><p>Never disclose to other parents that you have found a good babysitter.</p><p> </p><p>The most common causes of fatal injury to children five through nine involve automobiles. Meaning: hold their hands and buckle them in.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 95218, member: 1246"] [b]Re: Heard any good ones?[/b] THINGS A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FATHERHOOD Don't worry, your dad didn't know what *he* was doing, either. Never tell anybody you and your wife are "trying" to have a baby. We really don't need the visual, that's why. Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his or her mother, and for the first year you are merely a curiosity. For a couple of years after that, an amusement park ride. Then, a referee. Finally, a bank. There is nothing wrong with thumb-sucking. It helps to ease the pain of teething. It should, however, probably stop before high school. Boys are better because they can't get pregnant. Girls are better because they're less likely to be arrested. All punishments should reduce the number of disagreeable tasks you would normally have to perform. Never disclose to other parents that you have found a good babysitter. The most common causes of fatal injury to children five through nine involve automobiles. Meaning: hold their hands and buckle them in. [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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