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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 96172" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong>Re: Heard any good ones?</strong></p><p></p><p>Dilbert Quotes Contest </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate America.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 96172, member: 1246"] [b]Re: Heard any good ones?[/b] Dilbert Quotes Contest [FONT=Times New Roman]A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate America.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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