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Life After Brown
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="moreluck" data-source="post: 98935" data-attributes="member: 1246"><p><strong>Re: Heard any good ones?</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"> Laughs for You.......</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">enough. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">me lately! </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">18"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">"If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">rabbits on the highway?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Why do we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">America?" </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">well? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">involved. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">My wife and I were happy for twenty years ... then we met. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">you anyway. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Sign in pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'? </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I see your IQ test results were negative. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">elected. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">driving.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">Did you hear about the nurse that died and went straight to HELL!</span></span></span> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #40007f">She was there 2 weeks before she realized she wasn't at work!</span></span></span> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #6000bf"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #6000bf">One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching!</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moreluck, post: 98935, member: 1246"] [b]Re: Heard any good ones?[/b] [FONT=Arial Narrow][SIZE=4][COLOR=#40007f] Laughs for You....... Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately! No one ever says, "It's only a game," when their team is winning. I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: "CHECKOUT TIME IS 18" "If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" Why do we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?" Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was... surrounded by trees and bushes. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved. The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. My wife and I were happy for twenty years ... then we met. Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here. Sign in pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..." If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'? I see your IQ test results were negative. I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected. Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=4][COLOR=#40007f] Did you hear about the nurse that died and went straight to HELL![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Black][SIZE=4][COLOR=#40007f]She was there 2 weeks before she realized she wasn't at work![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=#6000bf] One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2
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