Heart attack update...

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by toonertoo, Jul 31, 2007.

  1. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    To my friends thought I would send you some humor.

    Im keeping a journal, of things I am not allowed to do anymore. Or things not to do when your spouse is post surgery. Lets see......................
    1. I can drive a commercial vehicle, for a billion dollar company, but Im not competent enough to operate, a Cub Cadet. I am not allowed to mow the lawn. And I do not know how to do it properly even if I could find the keys, according to him..........

    2. So I thought I would sneak the weed whacker out and give it a shot.
    a. Do not weed whack in shorts and sandals, especially next to a gravel road.
    b.. Do not weed whack the prickly pear cactus (this is big)
    3. Apparently I am not competent enough to change my oil in my truck although I did it for 20 yrs bh, (before him) So I have to take it to a "service station"
    4. No whacko relatives for at least 4 weeks.
    5. No drunk stumbling visitors who tend to fall on the victim, who still looks like a road map.
    6. Do not think you are smart enough to water the garden, because you wont do it properly.
    7. do not introduce foods hes never seen, you have to sneak these in.
    8. Do not yell at the dog for getting in the way, she is just stressed, and further it is his blood pressure medicine to have the dog by him.
    9. Do not complain about TV Land, comedy central, Andy Griffith, Lucy, or Pinks.
    10. Do not wake him with the vaccuum cleaner, but clean the house. Dont wake him by washing dishes, but dont leave them in the sink.
    You see this is the stuff he does more than me, and I simply cant do it, so at least I know his recovery is going well!!!

    We were in the middle of new windows, walls and insulation in the rear of my house. Til my son or some other competent being come along it will remain undone, Because I surely cant do these things!!
    Well cool, when hes all well, I will go back to driving a truck, and looking pretty, his words not mine. No more dishes, cleaning, or mundane chores, he can have it all!.
    Aspenleaf how do you do it? Patients are worse than customers!!

    Take care all. Tooner!!
  2. Upslady20

    Upslady20 Member

    Sounds like your having a blast. I think you should get some good books and read your afternoon away or at least while he is napping so you don't disturb him.
    And women UPS drivers can drive commercial mowers we own a big orange scag and I mow with it more than my husband. You should put on a pair of safety glasses when you do the weed eating especially if your throwing rocks at yourself. Go buy a gator blade for your weedeater if you don't already have one. He will even thank you later for it. Get the one with the metal on the edges it will cut down anything in the way. No more tapping for that hideous plastic string.
    Now that you have figured out what makes him unhappy while he is recouping you have it made..
    I hope you survive:laugh:
  3. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    Well the way I do it is to not be married to any of my patients! Really it makes a difference if you can punch in and out; take care of them on your shift and then you go home. Loves ones who become patients can be huge PITAs! Are you sure you are "competent" enough to post online??:tongue_sm I am glad he is getting better!
  4. scratch

    scratch Least Best Moderator Staff Member

    When you are well enough to complain, thats a good sign Hubby is recovering. He sounds like he's the perfectionist type, I'm guilty of that too. Or just old and set in my own ways. I just spent a two weeks vacation with my wife and two sons, and sometimes it seemed we were getting on each others nerves a lot, despite being in Hawaii. Everybody needs their own space sometimes. I have been married since 1983 to the same person, she used to work weekends and night shift in a hospital. Its interesting how relationships work and don't work sometimes. Anyway, it sounds like Mr. Tooner is doing well, I hope you are doing OK too.
  5. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    I actually wasnt complaining, nor was he, I was trying to have a moment of levity. He has his ways, and ive learned them. Yes he is a perfectionist. And I never will be. Hes organized, Im not. He never understood why I spent so much time on here, now he does. You guys kept me sane. I was just trying to show hes as good almost as new, he really doesnt demand much of me, and he does it all, til now and its killing him, so he wants to let the lawn grow til he can do it, etc. It was just a light moment, and I wanted to share it. Being with him 24/7 has actually been a good thing for us. He doesnt get on my nerves much, Ive loved him since I was 17.
  6. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    tooner ~ we know you love him! Your post was very funny and I know I am glad your spirits are up and it seems like his are too. Now get back to doing those dishes (but be very very quiet!).

  7. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    Drunk people fall on him???

    Do you keep him in a gutter?
  8. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member


    Sounds like this is a time you might look back on with not much fondness.:closedeye

    But men aren't usually gracious sick people in the first place and I really think their pain and tolerance levels are quite different from ours!

    So try to remember that he's usually an active guy but for now he's stuck in the house, probably bored, the weather's hot, he feels like crap, and he's totally dependent on you. And who might the scapegoat be?

    I admit to handing mine a $20 bill and sending him off to Home Depot just to get a breather and he's the picture of health!

    My prayers for your family have changed - I'm now requesting an overload of patience for you. After all, what do you do with a sick husband? The same thing you do for a sick child, since husbands
    are just big babies!!! :wink:
  9. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    "since husbands
    are just big babies!!!"

    Oh yeah? Well who's the big baby when there's a spider on the wall??

    (Actually, that would be me........)

    Please don't delete my post......
  10. area43

    area43 New Member

  11. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    Me too! I only deleted my own post since it posted twice. . .you are safe (unless a huge spider comes along and then you are on your own!)
  12. Channahon

    Channahon New Member

    Glad to hear all is going well. Keep the journal going, you'll have fun sharing it with him and keep us amused.
  13. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    rflmao, no.
    We have befriended one who has no one. He has burnt holes in my carpet, he is a stumbliing drunk. he came to pay his condolences, and he got thrown out for good. I have confirmed why he has no one, and sent him an email to confirm, he is an a hole when he drinks. I dont usually have time to be a bouncer, but now I do. LOL
    As far as spider, I used to call in terminex, or the neighbor, now I cant. My skin crawls for hours after seeing one. No matter how minute, now Im killing them, and skeeters as big as helicopters as he calls them (vicodin is good for that.) And today I fended off a whole school of yellowjackets, one raid bottle at a time. They had built a nest in my wall, when I started the truck it made them swarm. I feel like Herculette.
  14. cheryl

    cheryl I started this. Staff Member