I might have to forfeit my Man-Card.

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by brownmonster, Jun 7, 2012.

  1. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    I wheeled into a rural driveway and noticed a gal in a bikini mowing the lawn. As I'm walking towards the house she turns off the mower. I say "I have a pkg for so and so". She says "I can take it". My answer should have been "I'll need a signature for this one" but I cracked and said "Ill just set it on the porch for you". Weak!
  2. rod

    rod retired and happy

    I can see that whole conversation could have lead to exciting things-----depending on "how she took it".
  3. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I'm sure she took silent pleasure at your discomfort and probably feels that you perceive her as "out of your league". She may even start ordering more. You are correct though. Please deposit man cards in a safe location. Maybe you could tuck them away withyour testicles.
  4. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    She was probably thinking how much she likes hairy, smelly guys and is now in tears because you wouldn't come near her....
  5. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    Your avatar says "Man of Great Wisdom". You'll have to change that to Man With No Nads! I not only would have gotten a signature, but I would have made sure to drop the stylus and enjoyed the view as she bent over to pick it up!!!
  6. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    Just have a few miller lites to help you man up tonight.
  7. splozi

    splozi Guest

    Or you could have waited 'till she went inside and watched her bathe. Just sayin'...
  8. Minneapolis

    Minneapolis New Member

    I don't think drinking Miller Lite is going to help him (or anybody) Man Up! LOL

    BSWALKS I Wanna Be Sedated

    All is not lost grasshopper. To redeem your man card, watch 2 nights of sports center, & buy no fewer than 3 smut mags of your choosing. You should have your card back by Sunday, the latest.
    Never forget the shame you felt today,
  10. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I don't know... What he did was pretty bad. In addition to the above, I think he should watch 4 man movies. I suggest "Dirty Harry", "Scarface", "The Road Warrior", and "The Bridge on the River Kwai".
  11. curiousbrain

    curiousbrain Well-Known Member

    May I add "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" for good measure.
  12. barnyard

    barnyard KTM rider Staff Member

    Somewhere on another board some chick is posting:

    I ordered some stuff so that my hot UPS guy would stop. I was mowing the lawn in my bikini and he hardly even noticed me. I even quit mowing and went to talk to him and he acted like he was in a big hurry.

    I must be fat.

    I am going to cry myself to sleep with a tub of Ben and Jerrys.

    True story.
  13. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    Now that's funny!
  14. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    Now that's even funnier!
  15. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    I think that was the whole point.
  16. rod

    rod retired and happy

    Here's a song for ya: I suggest you do turn in your card.

    Macho Man - YouTube
  17. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Keep in mind the brownmonster is the father of two college age daughters. I have a daughter (27) and your thought process tends to change when you have a daughter, especially if bikini girl was the same age or younger than said daughter.
  18. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Well my daughter isn't going to be like THAT! And yes, I have no idea what that means.:)
  19. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    Add "Patton" and "Heartbreak Ridge" to that list.
  20. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    What, no Birdcage ????