If I ran UPS

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Playdoe, Feb 11, 2012.

  1. Playdoe

    Playdoe Guest

    If I ran UPS the first thing that I would do is find the best hedge fund manager in the world and have them manage our pension funds. I would forgo any raises and offer a 401k match up to 6 %. Next, I would raise the health care deductible to ten grand and offer a MSA card to offset that deductible. I would institute a program that really honors years of safety with a new company stock called safety stock. This new class of stock would be the envy of the corporate world. All employees who made the grade would immediately earn shares of safety stock equal to the safety years earned. Next, I would have a sales lead incentive plan that payed real dollars. Next, I would have an independent audit firm that had to find ten things good with each manager and supervisor. Employees would be encouraged to rate management on performance and people skills. All promotions and corporate advancements would be based on a real and verifiable screening process that entailed full disclosure and full audit agreement. Every manager would have to recertify every four years. If they failed they would go to the bottom of the seniority list in their last assignment.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 11, 2012
  2. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

  3. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    Ring ring ring ring it's 7:36 wake up you've over slept from your wet dream.
  4. Playdoe

    Playdoe Guest

    I was hoping to get people to post some ideas by saying, "If I ran UPS......"considering we have a contract comming up.....
  5. UnsurePost

    UnsurePost making the unreadable unreadabler

  6. raceanoncr

    raceanoncr Well-Known Member

    And if I win the Powerball........
  7. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    And WHEN I win the mega millions.
  8. kingOFchester

    kingOFchester Well-Known Member

    If I ran UPS, I would by a house in Maui for my R&R time.
  9. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    I would actually have the drivers set up trace and the person doing dispatch would have some area knowledge. As opposed to routes being set up by monkeys throwing darts at a map.
  10. brownelf

    brownelf Active Member

    I'd make it a private company again.
  11. GolfCart

    GolfCart Member

    I would show respect to workers if I ran ups
  12. cosmo1

    cosmo1 Now, a low life jack wagon, and still loving it.

    If I ran UPS:

    I wouldn't be wasting my time here.
  13. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    And the people that do, don't.
  14. cosmo1

    cosmo1 Now, a low life jack wagon, and still loving it.

    No kidding!:happy2:
  15. rocket man

    rocket man Well-Known Member

    if i ran ups? i wouldnt be on this site id laugh all the way to the bank
  16. anonymous6

    anonymous6 Guest

    the "Golden Rule" would rule.
  17. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    I would go back to the olden days and have the safety meeting at a strip club. That would make me want to learn the d o k.
  18. brownboxman

    brownboxman Active Member

    Are you really a jerk ? Or do you just play one on Browncafe/

    Just because a post doesnt interest you or meet your interest, does nt give you the right to post like that.
  19. menotyou

    menotyou bella amicizia

    Can we make this a poll? I vote for, well, I guess jerk is the only option in here. I vote in real life, also.
  20. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I see Sleeve has found an actual picture of the Bubble of Goodness.