If I ran UPS

[Playdoe]

If I ran UPS the first thing that I would do is find the best hedge fund manager in the world and have them manage our pension funds. I would forgo any raises and offer a 401k match up to 6 %. Next, I would raise the health care deductible to ten grand and offer a MSA card to offset that deductible. I would institute a program that really honors years of safety with a new company stock called safety stock. This new class of stock would be the envy of the corporate world. All employees who made the grade would immediately earn shares of safety stock equal to the safety years earned. Next, I would have a sales lead incentive plan that payed real dollars. Next, I would have an independent audit firm that had to find ten things good with each manager and supervisor. Employees would be encouraged to rate management on performance and people skills. All promotions and corporate advancements would be based on a real and verifiable screening process that entailed full disclosure and full audit agreement. Every manager would have to recertify every four years. If they failed they would go to the bottom of the seniority list in their last assignment.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

Yawn

 

[Anonymous 10]

Ring ring ring ring it's 7:36 wake up you've over slept from your wet dream.

 

[Playdoe]

I was hoping to get people to post some ideas by saying, "If I ran UPS......"considering we have a contract comming up.....

 

[UnconTROLLed]

If I ran UPS the first thing that I would do is find the best hedge fund manager in the world and have them manage our pension funds. I would forgo any raises and offer a 401k match up to 6 %. Next, I would raise the health care deductible to ten grand and offer a MSA card to offset that deductible. I would institute a program that really honors years of safety with a new company stock called safety stock. This new class of stock would be the envy of the corporate world. All employees who made the grade would immediately earn shares of safety stock equal to the safety years earned. Next, I would have a sales lead incentive plan that payed real dollars. Next, I would have an independent audit firm that had to find ten things good with each manager and supervisor. Employees would be encouraged to rate management on performance and people skills. All promotions and corporate advancements would be based on a real and verifiable screening process that entailed full disclosure and full audit agreement. Every manager would have to recertify every four years. If they failed they would go to the bottom of the seniority list in their last assignment.

 

[raceanoncr]

And if I win the Powerball........

 

[toonertoo]

And if I win the Powerball........

And WHEN I win the mega millions.

 

[kingOFchester]

If I ran UPS, I would by a house in Maui for my R&R time.

 

[Brownslave688]

I would actually have the drivers set up trace and the person doing dispatch would have some area knowledge. As opposed to routes being set up by monkeys throwing darts at a map.

 

[brownelf]

I'd make it a private company again.

 

[GolfCart]

I would show respect to workers if I ran ups

 

[cosmo1]

If I ran UPS:


I wouldn't be wasting my time here.

 

[Catatonic]

If I ran UPS:


I wouldn't be wasting my time here.

And the people that do, don't.

 

[cosmo1]

And the people that do, don't.

No kidding!

 

[rocket man]

If I ran UPS the first thing that I would do is find the best hedge fund manager in the world and have them manage our pension funds. I would forgo any raises and offer a 401k match up to 6 %. Next, I would raise the health care deductible to ten grand and offer a MSA card to offset that deductible. I would institute a program that really honors years of safety with a new company stock called safety stock. This new class of stock would be the envy of the corporate world. All employees who made the grade would immediately earn shares of safety stock equal to the safety years earned. Next, I would have a sales lead incentive plan that payed real dollars. Next, I would have an independent audit firm that had to find ten things good with each manager and supervisor. Employees would be encouraged to rate management on performance and people skills. All promotions and corporate advancements would be based on a real and verifiable screening process that entailed full disclosure and full audit agreement. Every manager would have to recertify every four years. If they failed they would go to the bottom of the seniority list in their last assignment.

if i ran ups? i wouldnt be on this site id laugh all the way to the bank

 

[anonymous6]

the "Golden Rule" would rule.

 

[Anonymous 10]

I would go back to the olden days and have the safety meeting at a strip club. That would make me want to learn the d o k.

 

[brownboxman]

Yawn

Are you really a jerk ? Or do you just play one on Browncafe/

Just because a post doesnt interest you or meet your interest, does nt give you the right to post like that.

 

[menotyou]

Are you really a jerk ? Or do you just play one on Browncafe/ Just because a post doesnt interest you or meet your interest, does nt give you the right to post like that.

Can we make this a poll? I vote for, well, I guess jerk is the only option in here. I vote in real life, also.

 

[over9five]

I see Sleeve has found an actual picture of the Bubble of Goodness.