Jokes you tell your customers regularly...

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Mike23, Jun 14, 2009.

  1. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    I'm sure there's somewhere on this site about jokes you share with customers but since I haven't seen one, thought I'd make a thread for it. I find one liners are best since they're relatively quick and easy to remember. I've also found if they're in a bad mood, the cheesier the joke, the better. Remember, try to keep it PG ;)

    Two drunks walk into a bar...You'd think they woulda seen it coming

    What's the difference between the Pope and UPS management? The Pope only wants you to kiss his ring.

    What do the Pope and UPS management have in common? They think they're both the closest thing to God.

    A peanut walks into a was a salted.

    Did you hear about the mob hit in the rice paddies over some knick knacks? The police are calling it a 'knick knack paddy whack'.
  2. hurricanegunner

    hurricanegunner UPSPoop

    The police department and the sherriff's department worked together to bring down the largest marijuana smuggling ring in the city's history. The mayor called it a joint effort.
  3. City Driver

    City Driver New Member

    there once was a man from nantucket.....
  4. bluehdmc

    bluehdmc Well-Known Member

    Can't spell stupid with out UPS
  5. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    Please continue
  6. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Obscured by Mirrors Staff Member

    Who carried his package in a bucket
  7. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    What do you know about Nantucket?:happy-very:
  8. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Obscured by Mirrors Staff Member

    I was going to go there but said **** it.

    Not much ... just what I've seen on TV and of course the
    Nantucket Sleigh Ride ... not that I would harpoon you.
  9. ups1990

    ups1990 Well-Known Member

    The last words of James Brown?

    " I don't feel good."
  10. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    A priest, a rabbi and a monk go into a bar. The bartender says, 'what is this? Some kind of joke?'
  11. No such person

    No such person Southern Ct.

    When a customer asks me how I'm doing I say, " I'm getting paid good money to wear brown polyester, life is good. " Always gets a laugh.
  12. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    Actually i think jokes are shared in the "Lighten UPS" section of our forums.

    my addition:

    A horse walks into a bar. the bartender say, "Why the long face?"
  13. JonFrum

    JonFrum Member

    A man has a double lung transplant. After, his worried family asks the surgeon, "Is he OK?" The doctor says, "He's as good as can be expected --- for a guy that's coughing up somebody elses phlegm."
  14. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    My bad, I read 'UPS Jokes' in that section so assumed it was only jokes making fun of UPS and just not all jokes in general. :(
  15. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    You should check them out if you haven't already. Moreluck keeps us well stocked with jokes, recipes and videos. PS no harm done. :peaceful: