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<blockquote data-quote="Non sequitur" data-source="post: 5202704" data-attributes="member: 31614"><p style="text-align: center"><em>Did I read that sign right?</em></p> <p style="text-align: center">TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW</p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center">In a Laundromat:</p> <p style="text-align: center">AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT</p> <p style="text-align: center">In a London department store:</p> <p style="text-align: center">BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS</p> <p style="text-align: center">In an office:</p> <p style="text-align: center">WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN</p> <p style="text-align: center">In an office:</p> <p style="text-align: center">AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD</p> <p style="text-align: center">Outside a second hand shop:</p> <p style="text-align: center">WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.</p> <p style="text-align: center">WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?</p> <p style="text-align: center">Notice in health food shop window:</p> <p style="text-align: center">CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS</p> <p style="text-align: center">Spotted in a safari park<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/frown.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" data-shortname=":(" />I sure hope so)</p> <p style="text-align: center">ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR</p> <p style="text-align: center">Seen during a conference:</p> <p style="text-align: center">FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR</p> <p style="text-align: center">Notice in a farmer's field:</p> <p style="text-align: center">THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.</p> <p style="text-align: center">Message on a leaflet:</p> <p style="text-align: center">IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS</p> <p style="text-align: center">On a repair shop door:</p> <p style="text-align: center">WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)</p> <p style="text-align: center">Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?</p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center">Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter</p> <p style="text-align: center">This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.</p> <p style="text-align: center">It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!</p> <p style="text-align: center">They put in a correction the next day.</p> <p style="text-align: center">Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says</p> <p style="text-align: center">R eally? Ya think?</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers</p> <p style="text-align: center">Now that's taking things a bit far!</p> <p style="text-align: center">-----------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over</p> <p style="text-align: center">What a guy!</p> <p style="text-align: center">---------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Miners Refuse to Work after Death</p> <p style="text-align: center">Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!</p> <p style="text-align: center">------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">J u venile Court to Try Shooting Defendant</p> <p style="text-align: center">See if that works any better than a fair trial!</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">War Dims Hope for Peace</p> <p style="text-align: center">I can see where it might have that effect!</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile</p> <p style="text-align: center">-----------------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures</p> <p style="text-align: center">Who would have thought!</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide</p> <p style="text-align: center">------------------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges</p> <p style="text-align: center">You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------</p> <p style="text-align: center">New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group</p> <p style="text-align: center">Weren't they fat enough?!</p> <p style="text-align: center">----------------------------------------------- </p> <p style="text-align: center"> </p> <p style="text-align: center">Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half</p> <p style="text-align: center">Chainsaw Massacre all over again!</p> <p style="text-align: center">***************************************************</p> <p style="text-align: center">Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors</p> <p style="text-align: center">Boy, are they tall!</p> <p style="text-align: center">*******************************************</p> <p style="text-align: center">And the winner is....</p> <p style="text-align: center">Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead</p> <p style="text-align: center">Did I read that right?</p> <p style="text-align: center">***************************************************</p> <p style="text-align: center">Now that you've smiled at least once,</p> <p style="text-align: center">send this to someone you want to bring a smile to ...(maybe even a chuckle).</p> <p style="text-align: center">We all need a good laugh, at least once a day !</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Non sequitur, post: 5202704, member: 31614"] [CENTER][I]Did I read that sign right?[/I] TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a second hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says R eally? Ya think? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Now that's taking things a bit far! ----------------------------------------------------------- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over What a guy! --------------------------------------------------------------- Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! ------------------------------------------------------ J u venile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! ---------------------------------------------------------- War Dims Hope for Peace I can see where it might have that effect! ---------------------------------------------------------------- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who would have thought! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ---------------------------------------------------------- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge ---------------------------------------------- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Weren't they fat enough?! ----------------------------------------------- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Chainsaw Massacre all over again! *************************************************** Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall! ******************************************* And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Did I read that right? *************************************************** Now that you've smiled at least once, send this to someone you want to bring a smile to ...(maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day ![/CENTER] [/QUOTE]
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