Ladies - How To Become A Better Wife

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by Sammie, May 12, 2007.

  1. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member

    With Mothers Day right around the corner, some tips on how we Moms and Wives can improve how we treat those frustrated, weary, beaten down, exhausted, package slinging men in our lives. :lol: :lol: :lol:
  2. MR_Vengeance

    MR_Vengeance United Parcel Survivor

    awwwww, the good o 50's, they sure don't produce wives like that anymore........
  3. Griff

    Griff Active Member

    Actually they do, just not in America.
  4. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    I quote
    "Listen to him.You may have a dozen important things to tell him,but the moment of his arrival is not the time.Let him talk first-remember,his topics of conversation are more important than yours"
    This would not sit well at my house.
  5. 705red

    705red Browncafe Steward

    Sammie do you have a sister? My wife just gave me the boot after i suggested she be more like that! Great advice sammie, hope its not to late to get that ups retained lawyer!
  6. MR_Vengeance

    MR_Vengeance United Parcel Survivor

    3 reasons to marry an American woman
    1. You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.
    2. You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.
    3. You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard ass bitch for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.
    :lol: :lol:

    enjoy gents.
  7. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    Ahhhhhh yes, such a great time I hear. :cool:
    Guess I flunk.:crying:
    Oh wait, I sling the boxes, did GHK make one of them lists for men?
  8. toeknee2gx

    toeknee2gx New Member

  9. Pip

    Pip New Member

    toonertoo says:

    God I hope not, us guys have it rough enough as it is. I mean with all the honeydoo's, taking out the garbage, mow the lawn, having to remember to put the seat down, be nice to the in-laws, .... WHEW! I tired just thinking about it! :w00t: :w00t:
  10. hondo

    hondo promoted to mediocrity

    Man do I ever wish I'd been born 30 yrs earlier.:sad:
  11. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member

    No, no book for the gents to follow (no offense, Pip) but there should be... :laugh:

    Wait a minute! I take out the garbage and I mow the lawn!!
    Me and UPS man here are gonna have a little chat... :bored:

    Seriously though, some of these suggestions aren't bad - after all, what man or woman, after a hard day at work, doesn't
    deserve companionship, a warm greeting and a few minutes of
    pampering when they get home???

    And yes, 705, I do have an older sister, but we're not all that much alike. I'm sending you her photo here and maybe I can get you guys together, but I would really consider giving your wife one more chance... :sad:
  12. Pip

    Pip New Member

    I show other half the link of the perfect wife. she laughed at me.

    Thanks Sammie. :sad: Wifey is sitting here reading the thread with me. I pointed out what you said about doing the lawn and garbage. I suggested that and I end up getting slapped!

    Think I need to trade her in for 2-20 yr olds. oops, well that didn't go over to well either.

    ******Side note..... Never ever joke with a woman going through metapause:confused:1
  13. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member


    Didn't mean to turn you into a punching bag. :wink:

    I was a single parent for quite a while so the chores, yard work, shoveling snow, etc. are automatic. If he wants to help, fine. If not, heck with him!!!:mad:

    And speaking of menopause, sweet pea, remember that
    men's hormone parties begin WAY before ours do...Try around age 30!! when you're all starting to get tired and grumpy and that gorgeous head of hair starts slipping away...Then later on when you guys level off, WE hit the front of the parade...

    Entirely too much fun... :bored:
  14. athena

    athena Member

    That is all well a good, boys. However, this is modern times and women do not have to sit home and be the good wifey. Before, these women didn't have a choice. It was get married or leave with your parents for the rest of your life.

    By the way, you all do realize that men started women's lib. During WWII, the government (at the time run by white men) decided to encourage women to go to the factories and work b/c the men were off at war. When the men came back, the govt tried to push the women back home but it was too late. We found out we also enjoy getting out and working.

    A couple things about American men:
    First, American men use to be so bad about paying child support (to provide for their offspring) that now you can get thrown in jail for not paying.
    Second, some American men like the idea of staying home with the kids. Also, I have met numerous guys who love cooking.
    Third, American men tend to have a double-standard. What's ok for you isn't ok for a woman. For example, from the

    American women..
    - most likely to cheat (Yeah, like American guys are so loyal!)

    - highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages) (Takes 2. I'd say anyone willing to blame one person for a relationship breakdown probably was the bigger problem in the relationship)

    - largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ... for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come) (That's pretty tough considering men make 20% more than women for doing the exact same job)

    - most likely to believe in feminism and "equality" (And...)

    - most likely to hate men (I have yet to meet a women who truly hated men as a whole. Yet, I have met men who treat women worse than they would their dog.)

    - spend least amount of time with her children (How much time do fathers spend with their children? Also, women must want to be with their children or there wouldn't be so much demand for flexibility at work to be with family)

    - worst at cooking and cleaning (Whatever?!!)

    - ****ed & chucked by tons of guys before tricking you into marriage (First, a man is pretty pathetic if he gets "tricked" into marrying anyone. Second, I would venture to guess in most married couples, the man is more experienced than the women in bed.)

    Had to put my two cents in for women. American women are great. And trust me, women from other cultures have their goods and bads as well. I know b/c I actually spend time with them.

    I am not saying American men aren't great. I really enjoy being a friend and/or significant other to American men.

    All this being said, as Americans, everyone else hates us. We really should stick together.
  15. tiegirl

    tiegirl tiegirl

    Husbands neither my dear.

  16. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

    :surprised: Wow!! Men had it so good in the 50's.
    hell, I'm lucky to get a reheated burrito and a hello. :D
  17. rod

    rod retired and happy

    From some of the posts on here I can see why Alphalfa started the HMWHC ----He-Man Women Haters Club.

    Al Bundys NO MA"AM club is a good one also. Dang- we should of never gave them the right to vote:happy2:
  18. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

    Keep em barefoot and pregnant.

    p.s. and at work if your going to type something like this.
  19. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    I forgot about the Little Rascals.

    Little Rascals
  20. rod

    rod retired and happy

    Cute- but the modern day Little Rascals can't even begin to compete with the original Our Gang kids:peaceful: