Lark Program


Well-Known Member
Hope this isn't offensive to anyone who reads it


A Lady wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about
the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in
Guantanamo Bay.

She received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment
of the Taliban and Al Quada detainees currently being held at
Guantanamo Bay,Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opi nion
was heard loud and clear here in Washington.

You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens
like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist
Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility
for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have
decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for
transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be
cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your
letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire
some assistant caretakers.

We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of
care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly
recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopat h and extremely violent, we hope that
your sensitivity to what you described as his attitudinal problem"
will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere
cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer
counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a
pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to
demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert
at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household
products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in
your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except
sexually), since he views all females as a subhuman form of
property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he
has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to
comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more
appropriate attire.

I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka
-- over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his
religious beliefs". Wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like
you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good
care of Ahmed - and remember, we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,


Support and Pray for Our Troops


Happiness in Slavery...
don't know if i should start a new thread for this, but.....

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