“Twas the night before Christmas and all through
the land, not a creature was stirring except those
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of Guitar Heros danced in their
With papa in his long johns and I in my teddy,
we had just settled down for Moreluck’s apple
When out in the street there arose such a
clatter, I sprang from the couch to see what
was the matter.
And what to my wandering eyes should appear,
but brown package cars shifting through all
With many a driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment they must be UPS-niks.
More rapid than Porsches on courses they came,
as they whistled and shouted and called out some
names. Next the Jones, the Coles, now the
Wrights and the Halls. Then the Greens and the
Smiths and the Hagers and Balls.
To the top of the porch, to the top of the halls!
Now dash away! We’ll do this and deliver
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roots,
the stomping and stamping of each little brown boot.
As I drew in my head and was turning around, one
leaped on the porch in a single, huge bound.
He was dressed all in browns from his head to his
toes, with thick curly hair and a very cold nose.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
delivering my packages then turned with a jerk,
and laying his hands on his red, freezing ears,
gave a nod and ran back to his truck with a cheer.
He jumped in his seat and gave a big whistle, and
flew down the street like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim as he chomped on a Mars,
I’m outta here man, and thank God for DR’s!