Merry Christmas

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by DS, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. DS

    DS Fenderbender

  2. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member


    Phew, had to get this posted before Jones thought of it!
  3. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

  4. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

  5. PT Stewie

    PT Stewie "Big Fella"

    Nice post ML !
  6. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I said I would never own these stupid things......

    ....... but they came with the house.
  7. PT Stewie

    PT Stewie "Big Fella"

  8. faded jeans

    faded jeans just a member

    Pose them so that the buck is really enjoying the holidays!
  9. DS

    DS Fenderbender

  10. Dizzee

    Dizzee ɹǝqɯǝɯ ɹoıuǝs

    You just need to tweak it a little.
  11. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    We have a house that does this every year. He has 2 shows a night, every night for the whole month of Dec. He starts setting up in Oct, it takes him that long to get it together. Each show is about 45 minutes to an hour. It gets bigger every year. Last year I took Mr. Dilli to the show on Christmas Day. He had never seen a show like it before. I'm sure we will go again this year.
  12. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Santa Claus and Grandma

    I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid.
    I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

    My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

    Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted...."Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

    "Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

    I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping.

    For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

    I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church.

    I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

    I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.
    "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

    The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

    That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers. Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

    I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma.

    Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

    Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were -- ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

    I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

    May you always have LOVE to share,
    HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care...

    And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!
  13. DS

    DS Fenderbender

  14. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member


    A Rescue Dog's Christmas Poem

    Based on the epithet that: "A dog is not just for Christmas".

    'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town,
    every shelter is full - we are lost but not found,
    Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,
    we hope every minute that someone will care,
    They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,
    "Come here, Max and Sparkie - come fetch your new ball!!"

    But now we sit here and think of the days...
    we were treated so fondly - we had cute, baby ways,
    Once we were little, then we grew and we grew -
    now we're no longer young and we're no longer new.
    So out the back door we were thrown like the trash,
    they reacted so quickly - why were they so rash?

    We "jump on the children", "don't come when they call",
    we "bark when they leave us", "climb over the wall".
    We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed,
    now we suffer the consequence of the errors they made.

    If only they'd trained us, if only we knew...
    we'd have done what they asked us and worshiped them, too.
    We were left in the backyard, or worse - let to roam -
    now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.

    They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye...
    "Maybe someone else will give you a try."
    So now here we are, all confused and alone...
    in a shelter with others who long for a home.

    The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,
    with so many to care for, they can't stay to chat,
    They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer...
    we know that they wonder how long we'll be here.

    We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads...
    of a home filled with love and our own cosy beds.
    Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears -
    our friends filled with emptiness, worry, and fear.

    If you can't adopt us and there's no room at the Inn -
    could you help with the bills and fill our food bin?
    We count on your kindness each day of the year -
    can you give more than hope to everyone here?

    Please make a donation to pay for the heat...
    and help get us something special to eat.
    The shelter that cares for us wants us to live,
    and more of us will, if more people will give.

    Author unknown
  15. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

  16. PT Stewie

    PT Stewie "Big Fella"

    The grinches are at in again what's that line a slimy black banana peel.......
    Christmas sign ignites controversy in Pitman | Courier-Post |
  17. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    The good part is that lawyers & courts take so much time that Christmas will be over by the time a hearing can be scheduled on the matter.
  18. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    "The ABC'S Of Christmas"

    A - Almost done Christmas shopping.

    B - Bulb, the one that burnt out and can't find.

    C - Can't find the perfect gift for mom.

    D - Dang cat keeps knockin Christmas...ornaments off the tree.

    E - Everyone is coming over.

    F - Found the perfect tree.

    G - God Help Me!!!!!!!!!

    H - Here comes Santa Clause.

    I - Is Christmas almost over?

    J - Just burnt the ham.

    K - Keep your hands off that present.

    L - Lights won't work (see B)

    M - Must start earlier next year.

    N - Need more socks for Christmas. (lol)

    O - Ohhh Nooo The tree fell & ....can't get back up.

    P - Please pass the Tylenol.

    Q - Quiet as a mouse - not this house.

    R - Really need a nap.

    S - Santa's gonna skip this house.

    T - To Foxee from Santa

    U - Ugliest tree I've ever seen.

    V - Virtual Cards are all sent.

    W - Whats's a White Christmas?

    X - Xmas on the Net.

    Y - You still reading this?

    Z - Zero hours - Christmas is here!!!!
  19. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

  20. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    Every Brown down in Brownville Liked Christmas a lot…
    But UPS, Who lived just north of Brownville, Did NOT!
    UPS hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
    Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
    It could be thier head wasn’t screwed on just right.
    It could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight.
    But I think that the most likely reason of all,
    May have been that their heart was two sizes too small.
    Whatever the reason, Their heart or their shoes,
    They stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Browns
    Staring down from above with a sour, Grinchy frown,
    At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
    For they knew every Brown down in Brownville beneath,
    Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
    “And they’re hanging their stockings!” they snarled with a sneer,
    “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
    Then they growled, with their fingers nervously drumming,
    “We MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
    For Tomorrow,they knew, all the Brown girls and boys,
    Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
    And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
    Noise! Noise! Noise!
    That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
    Then the Browns, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
    And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST!
    They would feast on Brown-pudding, and rare Brown-roast beast.
    Which was something UPS couldn’t stand in the least!
    And THEN They’d do something they liked least of all!
    Every Brown down in Brownville, the tall and the small,
    Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
    They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Browns would start singing!
    They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!
    And the more UPS thought of this Brown Christmas Sing,
    The more UPS thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
    “Why, for 100 years we've put up with it now!”
    “We MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”
    Then they got an idea! An awful idea!
    “we know just what to do!” UPS laughed in their throat.
    And they made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
    And they chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!”
    “make them stay under nine5,as per BJ and rick!”
    “All I need is a reindeer…” UPS looked around.
    But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
    Did that stop the UPS? No! The they just simply said,
    “If I can’t find a reindeer, we’ll make one instead!”
    So they called up IE, Max. Then they took some red thread,
    And they tied a big horn on the top of his head.
    THEN they loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
    On a ramshackle sleigh And they hitched up old Max.
    Then UPS said, “Giddiap!” And the sleigh started down,
    Toward the homes where the Browns Lay asnooze in their town.
    All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
    All the Browns were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
    When they came to the first little house on the square.
    “This is stop number one,” the old shareholder hissed,
    And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
    Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
    But, if Santa could do it, then so could UPS.
    He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
    Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
    Where the little Brown stockings all hung in a row.
    “These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
    Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
    Around the whole room, and he took every present!
    Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
    Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
    And he stuffed them in bags. Then , very nimbly,
    Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
    Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Browns feast!
    He took the Brown-pudding! He took the roast beast!
    He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
    Why, UPS even took their last can of Brown-hash!
    Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
    “And NOW!” grinned the shareholder, “I will stuff up the tree!”
    And as he grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
    When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
    He turned around fast, and he saw a small Brown!
    Little Cindy-Lou Brown , who was not more than two.
    UPS had been caught by this tiny Brown daughter,
    Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
    She stared at UPS and said, “Santy Claus, why,”
    “Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”
    But, you know, he thought deeply ,so smart and so slick,
    He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
    “Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,
    “There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”
    “So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.”
    “I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
    And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
    And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
    And when Cindy-Lou Brown went to bed with her cup,
    HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
    Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
    Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
    On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
    And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
    Was a crumb that was even too small for a brown mouse.
    Then He did the same thing To the other Browns’ houses
    Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Browns mouses!
    It was quarter past dawn… All the Browns, still a-bed,
    All the Browns, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
    Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
    The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
    Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
    He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
    “PoohPooh to the Browns!” he was grinchishly humming.
    “They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
    “They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
    “Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
    Then the Browns down in Brownville will all cry BooHoo!”
    “That’s a noise,” grinned IE, “That I simply MUST hear!”
    So they paused. And the CEO put his hand to his ear.
    And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
    It started in low. Then it started to grow.
    But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
    It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
    He stared down at Brownville! UPS popped their eyes!
    Then they shook! What they saw was a shocking surprise!
    Every Brown down in Brownville, the tall and the small,
    Were singing! Without any presents at all!
    They HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
    Somehow or other, it came just the same!
    And IE, with their-feet ice-cold in the snow,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
    “It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!”
    “It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
    And they puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
    Then UPS thought of something they hadn’t before!
    “Maybe Christmas,” they thought, “doesn’t mean SPOHR.”
    “Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
    And what happened then? Well…in Brownville they say,
    the shareholders small hearts Grew three sizes that day!
    And the minute their heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
    They whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
    And they brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
    And as a gesture let Integrity carve the roast beast.