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<blockquote data-quote="overallowed" data-source="post: 544058" data-attributes="member: 5739"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really</span></span></span></span> <span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.' </span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make an offer!' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'What are you talking about?' asks the guy. </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.....' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: blue"><span style="color: blue">'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!' </span></span></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overallowed, post: 544058, member: 5739"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][SIZE=6][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy] [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make an offer!' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'What are you talking about?' asks the guy. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.....' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=6][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue]'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!' [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=fuchsia][COLOR=fuchsia][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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