Parents with daughters.

[ups1990]

We all know, that we can't keep the boys away. As girls reach teenage years, there interest in boys will increase. How do you parents deal with this stage? With my teenage daughter, if a young man is interested in her, I have a three stage process. Step one, the kid needs to fill out an application, followed by an even thicker one, then an interview to tell him, NO.

 

[dilligaf]

We all know, that we can't keep the boys away. As girls reach teenage years, there interest in boys will increase. How do you parents deal with this stage? With my teenage daughter, if a young man is interested in her, I have a three stage process. Step one, the kid needs to fill out an application, followed by an even thicker one, then an interview to tell him, NO.

LOL That is funny.

My hubbies daughter is very much her fathers daughter. She is very independant and strong willed. My hubby doesn't worry about her at all. She keeps the applications on file and if the boy actually has the nerve to walk to the door she gives him one. Then she does the interview to tell him no.

She is a good head taller than most of the boys that she knows and tends to kick a&& first and then take names.

 

[dilligaf]

The following is a true story: this is how independant and self assured this girl is.

She works in a bar/restuarants one of our small tourist towns. One of those everyone knows everyone type of towns. One day she was on her way to work. She stopped at the stop sign to make a turn and there were a couple of guys standing on the corner. Biker types, the ones that like to razz just for the fun of it. One of them made a comment about her truck being to 'big' for her. She has a 3/4 Chevy with big tires on it. It actually fits her. Anyway, she ignored them and went on to work.

Well the 2 made the mistake of coming into the restuarant that she worked in at the time. Of course the guy that made the original comment recognized her and said something to the effect of 'hey aren't you the one that has the truck that is to big for you?'. She turned around, looked the guy square in the face and said as sweetly as possible 'I don't know, aren't you the one that has the that is too small?'. She said this in the middle of a packed restuarant as clearly as day. The guy didn't know what to say. His friend, from what I was told, nearly fell out of his chair laughing his butt off. And the rest of the patrons were laughing as well. She was a little worried that she might get fired over it but not one word was said.

 

[JimJimmyJames]

How do you parents deal with this stage?

Poorly .

 

[cachsux]

I am fortunate that my 15 yr old is more into softball and school than anything else. She has boy friends but no boyfriends. I have always told her that her first boyfriend should be one she doesn`t like all that much as I plan on killing and stuffing the first on like a scarecrow in the front yard. I`ll then greet the next ones with a laser pointer to point out the mistakes such as scruffy uncombed hair,baggy ass dragging pants,untied shoes,etc. If they don`t meet the requirements I ever so politely (meaning with lots of expletives) tell them to not show up until they do.

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

My daughter will be 25 this December so I have been through what you guys are just starting to go through. As Dilli said about her step-daughter, Megan is definitely my daughter and doesn't take anything from anyone so I don't really have any worries about her.

There was one Christmas morning when she was 12 or 13. This boy came over to the house. Megan let him in, they exchanged gifts, and then he left. Cutest thing you ever saw.

One of the perks of being the father with a daughter is "talking" to the poor soul who has to sit and visit with you while she is getting ready so they can go to the prom. I call it the "fear of God" speech.

If you have taught her right and wrong, good and bad, she will turn out just fine. She may give you a few sleepless nights but she will turn out just fine.

 

[jennie]

My daughter will be 25 this December so I have been through what you guys are just starting to go through. As Dilli said about her step-daughter, Megan is definitely my daughter and doesn't take anything from anyone so I don't really have any worries about her.

There was one Christmas morning when she was 12 or 13. This boy came over to the house. Megan let him in, they exchanged gifts, and then he left. Cutest thing you ever saw.

One of the perks of being the father with a daughter is "talking" to the poor soul who has to sit and visit with you while she is getting ready so they can go to the prom. I call it the "fear of God" speech.

If you have taught her right and wrong, good and bad, she will turn out just fine. She may give you a few sleepless nights but she will turn out just fine.

I have 3 boys, the older two have girlfriends and I have to say I worry about the girls not my boys. I think god did the right thing with giving me men to raise

 

[stevetheupsguy]

I am fortunate that my 15 yr old is more into softball and school than anything else. She has boy friends but no boyfriends. I have always told her that her first boyfriend should be one she doesn`t like all that much as I plan on killing and stuffing the first on like a scarecrow in the front yard. I`ll then greet the next ones with a laser pointer to point out the mistakes such as scruffy uncombed hair,baggy ass dragging pants,untied shoes,etc. If they don`t meet the requirements I ever so politely (meaning with lots of expletives) tell them to not show up until they do.

Funny!

I have 3 boys, the older two have girlfriends and I have to say I worry about the girls not my boys. I think god did the right thing with giving me men to raise

Ditto as I'm the opposite having only girls.

 

[rod]

My son always had a serious talk with his little sisters boyfriends. He was VERY protective of her and he wasn't anyone to mess with so I never worried about her. She couldn't have asked for a better brother.

 

[longlunchguy]

I have 2 girls. One a college senior and her younger sis just starting to drive. You try to raise them right (Mrs. llg should get the credit for most of this) and I think it helps if the parents provide a good example. I can't tell you to do the right thing if I do whatever I feel like doing. My girls have plenty of privileges, but they come with plenty of responsibilities. All that being said, I think you need a little luck and a lot of prayer.

 

[ol'browneye]

My daughter is 25 and my son is 22. Yes it is true I worried more about my daughter than my son. Especially when she started dating and went off to college. I remember being that age and I know what I had in mind when I dated! The thought of any boy doing anything to my girl made me furious.
Well now she's 25, I'm a grandpa, and she has obviously had sex! At this point sex isn't the evil thing for her (in my mind) it used to be. I hope she enjoys it as much as me and grandma do! LOL! At least I can look at a 20 year old girl again and not think to myself "What are you looking at? You have a daughter that age!"

It just proves the old saying true: When you have a boy, you just have to worry about one penis. When you have a girl, you have to worry about every penis in town!

 

[over9five]

My daughter is 21 now, and has had a "steady' for 3 years.

When she first started dating, I would be sure the boys first view of me was sitting at the table cleaning my guns.....!

 

[moreluck]

If ONLY for that reason.......that's a good reason to own a gun !!

 

[stevetheupsguy]

I have 5 daughters aged 19, 13,8,7,6. I was a very bad boy growing up, so I'm feeling as though this could be a very karmatic experience. My eldest is unmarried and pregnant (due August 14th) and currently living with the unborn childs father. We are currently not speaking and haven't spoken since around April, I guess. Long story short is she said some really nasty things to me after she left home and then she expected me to step up and fund her life.

I refused, because I believe if you make that bed, you must also sleep in that bed, but that's just me. My wife, who is not her Mom, keeps in touch with her but doesn't give me the details, as I don't want them. My wife knows where I stand on this issue and is understanding toward both my daughter and me. I never thought things would turn out this way, but I guess you can only give so many pushes on the swing and so many talks to and leave them to make the choices that they make.

Was it my mistake that caused this whole situation? I don't think it was, though my lifestyle and choices don't paint the best picture of me. I'm not saying that my eldest daughter is bad, by any means. I'm just saying that she's made and is making choices that I don't agree with. I'm the best Dad that I know how to be, so I'll just keep loving and teaching my girls and we'll see what happens. I don't know if I would have been as good a Dad if I had sons.

My 13 year old isn't interested in boys yet, or so she says. I ask her about them and she says they act weird, so I'm guessing by High School she'll get the bug. I totally understand why she says they act weird, when you see them dressing in those too tight jeans or the ones that are falling off of the butt. We laugh together when talking about this because we're like, how does anybody run anymore?

 

[dilligaf]

I have 5 daughters aged 19, 13,8,7,6. I was a very bad boy growing up, so I'm feeling as though this could be a very karmatic experience. My eldest is unmarried and pregnant (due August 14th) and currently living with the unborn childs father. We are currently not speaking and haven't spoken since around April, I guess. Long story short is she said some really nasty things to me after she left home and then she expected me to step up and fund her life.

I refused, because I believe if you make that bed, you must also sleep in that bed, but that's just me. My wife, who is not her Mom, keeps in touch with her but doesn't give me the details, as I don't want them. My wife knows where I stand on this issue and is understanding toward both my daughter and me. I never thought things would turn out this way, but I guess you can only give so many pushes on the swing and so many talks to and leave them to make the choices that they make.

Was it my mistake that caused this whole situation? I don't think it was, though my lifestyle and choices don't paint the best picture of me. I'm not saying that my eldest daughter is bad, by any means. I'm just saying that she's made and is making choices that I don't agree with. I'm the best Dad that I know how to be, so I'll just keep loving and teaching my girls and we'll see what happens. I don't know if I would have been as good a Dad if I had sons.

My 13 year old isn't interested in boys yet, or so she says. I ask her about them and she says they act weird, so I'm guessing by High School she'll get the bug. I totally understand why she says they act weird, when you see them dressing in those too tight jeans or the ones that are falling off of the butt. We laugh together when talking about this because we're like, how does anybody run anymore?

Steven, you are doing what you think is best. No one should find fault with that. Chin up, hopefully things come around.

Can I tell you something, though, from experience? I went through the same thing with my adopted mom that you are going through with your daughter. She would not talk to me and wanted nothing to do with me because of my choices. At one point I tried to mend fences. I seriously and sincerely tried. She wouldn't. It was the one and only time. I will never try again. I have not had contact or communication with her for more than 15 years.

Steven, if your daughter tries to make things right, please take her up on it. Try. It may or may not work but at least try. Please, for both of your sakes.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

Steven, you are doing what you think is best. No one should find fault with that. Chin up, hopefully things come around.

Can I tell you something, though, from experience? I went through the same thing with my adopted mom that you are going through with your daughter. She would not talk to me and wanted nothing to do with me because of my choices. At one point I tried to mend fences. I seriously and sincerely tried. She wouldn't. It was the one and only time. I will never try again. I have not had contact or communication with her for more than 15 years.

Steven, if your daughter tries to make things right, please take her up on it. Try. It may or may not work but at least try. Please, for both of your sakes.

Point taken.

 

[cachsux]

Not quite the same thing,Steve,but similar. I had a blowout argument with my brother in 94 and didn`t speak to him for four years. I have this ability,a bad one,to completely cut bait and wash my hands of people and not lose a night of sleep. What should have lasted only a month went as long as it did. Eventually he and his family came back to IL for a visit and between my wife and parents we buried the hatchet and went forward. Sometime later over beers we realized how stupid the actual subject of the argument was. What was lost for me especially was interaction with my nephew who is a kid (now a young man) that I cherish as much as my own. Maybe don`t make one big jump,put out some communication a little at a time and it will be reciprocated. Hope it works out bud.

 

[trplnkl]

Two daughters, no sons.

First of all I made sure my daughters KNEW the rules and the consequences of not following the rules. I applied all consequences if the rules were broken, the first time they were broken.
Second, all suitors had to go through me to go out with my girls and I made sure those young men knew the rules and the consequences of breaking said rules.
I rarely ever let one of the guys see me smile, I looked them in the eyes and told them that they were responsible to ME for the proper treatment and care of my daughter, regardless of what she might say or do. I placed ALL responsibility on him to abide by the rules.
Also, by the time they started dating they had learned from experience that at any time, without warning, they could turn around and come face to face with dear old Dad.



I have even carried this out to my step-grand daughter and her BFs from time to time. I told her newest one(he's 20, she's 18) that if he ever has an accident in his car with her in it and stupidity on his part ( especially drinking and driving) was the cause that he better hope that the law puts him where I can not reach him. I also told him that at my age, I figure 10-20 years of a life sentence would be easy for me to do. I don't have that many more years to live anyway. I think he got my drift.

 

[Dizzee]

Three daughters, no sons. When they hit their teens the phone starts ringing. All the time. Constantly. Incessantly. All day long. I'm like some sort of "Teen Party Chat Line" operator, taking messages, scheduling call-backs, etc.. One day I get a brainstorm and push the "Find Phone" button (causing the phone to ring) when the oldest daughter is indisposed in the bathroom. In a LOUD, clear voice I answer the fake call.

"Hello"
"Marie? yeah she's here, but she's poopin".
"Yes, pooping. You know, umm dropping a duece, pinching a loaf?"

~a cry of anguish escapes the walls of the bathroom~

"DAD, I am NOT POOPING!"


"Marie I can't hear you. I'm on the phone, and for the love of God, turn on the fan and spray some air freshener before you come out of there."


~another cry of anguish escapes the walls of the bathroom~


"Do you want to call back? She'll be available in 30 minutes or so."
"Umm, OK, I'll give her the message. Bye."

~another cry of anguish escapes the walls of the bathroom~

"Marie? That was some boy. Said he'll see you in school tomorrow."

I never had to answer the phone in my house again.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

Not quite the same thing,Steve,but similar. I had a blowout argument with my brother in 94 and didn`t speak to him for four years. I have this ability,a bad one,to completely cut bait and wash my hands of people and not lose a night of sleep. What should have lasted only a month went as long as it did. Eventually he and his family came back to IL for a visit and between my wife and parents we buried the hatchet and went forward. Sometime later over beers we realized how stupid the actual subject of the argument was. What was lost for me especially was interaction with my nephew who is a kid (now a young man) that I cherish as much as my own. Maybe don`t make one big jump,put out some communication a little at a time and it will be reciprocated. Hope it works out bud.

Ditto that! I had a conversation with someone today. This person told me that they were in the same boat as me. They were frantic and in a position where a child was being used to siphon money from this person. I will not let this happen. I have my own day to day issues and I don't need to add any of that drama, thank you!

Sorry for your case, cach, but this is more than a misunderstanding. This is something that will go on and on for a lifetime and I just ain't having it.