Preload Cropdusting

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by im_tired, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. im_tired

    im_tired New Member

    Howdy. I'm new here, and new to UPS--I'll have a year in May. I work on preload in Austin, TX, and I love it. I mean, it sucks and it hurts and it makes me feel crazy, but what's love without that? Anyway, I have a situation that happens every day and I'm wondering who else it happens to. At a point late in the morning, usually around the time the air shows up, I start farting basically every time i do anything because I really, really need to take a :censored2::censored2::censored2::censored2:. I'm in a heavy section, so there's usually no time for that. I would go when we break, but the timing's never right because my bowels hate me. Instead I just fart, like, a lot. What happens next never fails to make me laugh. I'll be loading one car, fart in it, move to another, load more, walk back into the car I was just loading, and BAM, I just cropdusted myself. Face full of my own fart. The worst is when I fart while I'm making a stack and then turn around to set it in the back of the car behind me and basically kneel directly into my own gas. Does this happen to anybody else?
  2. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    Interesting first post, Im_tired. Welcome to Brown Cafe.

    Not sure I wanna see where this is gonna go.....
  3. curiousbrain

    curiousbrain Well-Known Member

    In the sort aisle where I am gainfully employed, we have large industrial fans that blow from the beginning of the sort aisle down to the end. It is always a bit of a laugh when the team on door one lets one fly, and the fans wipe out the rest of the sort aisle. I probably lose half a PPH on the Monday after a hard weekend of drinking.
  4. PiedmontSteward

    PiedmontSteward RTW-4-Less

    Working at UPS gives me the worst flatulence imaginable. I think its psychosomatic - meaning, my subconscious is making me rip one. It all started during my first 6 months as a loader; my sup (who threatened to fire/write me up/etc. daily) came into my truck to bitch at me and I ripped one. He looked like he had run head first into a brick wall, made a face like he was disgusted, and walked out. When I became a pick-off and I'd see my sup come up to complain about belt stops, I'd rip one on the LVD and he'd usually leave me alone. Now, I keep myself entertained by crop dusting small crowds of sups wherever I find them.

    You have to learn to enjoy the little things in life. You'll live longer. :smart:
  5. curiousbrain

    curiousbrain Well-Known Member

    He's right - I've cropdusted a few hourlies from time to time, it makes me giggle. Although, to be fair, I only dust those I like - to put the rot on a new employee or someone I don't know would just be wrong.
  6. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    Maybe you should change your diet. You sound like a slob.
  7. im_tired

    im_tired New Member

    Why, so this will stop? Did you read the part where I said it makes me laugh?
  8. sortaisle

    sortaisle Livin the cardboard dream

    Ah well...everyone likes their own brand anyway right? Yeah I get the shats at work. Being I'm only there for a little while I can contain it. Back off on the frijoles and broccoli and you should survive. If not, Beano is your (expensive) friend.
  9. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    If potty humor makes you happy who am I to stop you. Carry on then as long as I'm not working next to you. To each his own.
  10. curiousbrain

    curiousbrain Well-Known Member

    407, implying he does not like potty humor? Come now, pretentiousness is very unbecoming, sir.
  11. Integrity

    Integrity Binge Poster


    Welcome to the Brown Cafe!

  12. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    I'm ok with potty humor. I drop deuces and don't mind letting you know but I was just trying to offer some advice to op in post number three and he didn't want it. I to worked the preload and had monster gas for a while and then I adjusted my diet because it wasn't fair to others. Most people don't like that kind of stuff and I can understand why.
  13. im_tired

    im_tired New Member

    For what it's worth, I load in a hut with no door at the end, so there's usually a nice breeze. It's up in the cars where the air gets stale. And to be honest, the other guy I work with back there and I are usually pretty good about holding it down for a minute so the other one can go use the restroom if the air starts getting slippery. Anyway, no amount of fart will ever beat finding a piss bottle in the back of the car as far as being inconsiderate is concerned...
  14. 'Lord Brown's bidding'

    'Lord Brown's bidding' Well-Known Member

    Man, thought I had gas! How many times does one have to fart to make 'the air get slippery'??! Ya'll liquifying ya'll methane? (If so, should sell it; natural gas is all the rage in this country. You'd be going
    And believe me, I have some bad gas. Once tried to be discreet amd drop one while walking with a friend, unfortunately with wind blowing with us. He said, "man, if that was you and I can smell that with us OUTSIDE, you got a problem!"
  15. Integrity

    Integrity Binge Poster


    Do you find these bottles often?

  16. packageguy

    packageguy Well-Known Member

    ‚Äčto many details for me, welcome to brown cafe
  17. TxRoadDawg

    TxRoadDawg Member

    Personally I try and save mine for the full time sups office altho I have blasted out my area bad enough to have my chair removed and set outside the building to air out. In my defense I DID tell teh bossman it would be in his best interest to let me leave once my work was done that night. after he said no I showed no mercy :devil3:
  18. Nimnim

    Nimnim The Nim

    Man this was a good chuckle thread. I know there's been days when I've tortured some poor souls inadvertently because of intestinal issues from time to time. The worst has to be for unloaders though, sit in one truck and the fan only blows air in not out. A good friend of mine who used to unload with me back when I started would get terrible gas when he'd eat from a certain place. There were a couple times it got so bad I had to run up to the bathroom to grab the air freshener they had in there. For the most part though it was all in good fun and we'd both laugh about it.
  19. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    were you one of those kids in school who sat in the back of the class and farted all the time????
  20. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    I just Dutch-oven'ed myself.