MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Memphis, TN: 12-22-2022
Today, FedEx Express CEO Raj Subramaniam made a surprise proposal to slash $1 Billion dollars from the Fiscal 2023 budget by replacing the entire FedEx fleet of jet aircraft with 750 manure-powered cargo dirigibles in a radical proposal known as Project Z. Dubbed "Zappellins" (I named them myself, says Raj), these 800 foot long monsters of the sky will speed across the night skies of the world at 100 mph, saving hundreds of millions in fuel and operational costs while carrying twice the freight of a typical wide body cargo aircraft.
A lone pilot will operate each airship, with most control functions handled through a new adaptation of existing eStar routing technology, which has been "a tremendous success story" according to Subramaniam. "We will simultaneously eliminate half our crew personnel and also save our environment by reducing greenhouse gases and global warming". Each Zappellin will carry 100 cows in a special pressurized and temperature controlled hold where their manure will be converted to a gas which will power onboard generators that lead to 6 electric motor nacelles, 3 per side of each ship. "The methane from cow flatulation will also be channeled into propulsion" says Raj.
Lift will be provided by hydrogen gas, because much safer helium is in short supply and quite expensive. "This will add to our savings and is quite safe" says Rufus Leeking, the FedEx VP of Air Operations." Previous safety concerns with helium have been eliminated, because our superior eStar technology will monitor lift systems and engage various safety systems to put out the fire(s) and/or lessen the explosion(s)". Leeking claims this newly proven technology will make Zappellins the safest and most effiecient aircraft ever produced.
Eventually, says Subramaniam, "Even our supplemental aircraft and vehicle fleets will be replaced by smaller versions of Zappellins known as FREDS , a logical extension of this new technology". At some point in the future, these smaller FREDS units will drop deliveries via parachute to all FedEx customers, eliminating the need for delivery couriers and associated sort facility personnel. eStar technology will allow each Zappellin to be self-sufficient and perform all sorting and routing procedures while aloft.
"We are going to bury both UPS and Amazon", says Subramaniam, who has patented this breakthrough technology, thereby denying competitors access to it.
Former CEO and Chairman Frederick W. Smith, who has secretly overseen Project Z has been quoted as saying "This is a game changer of epic proportions. Bravo Zulu, Raj, and BZ to your whole team. This is a WINNER".
Today, FedEx Express CEO Raj Subramaniam made a surprise proposal to slash $1 Billion dollars from the Fiscal 2023 budget by replacing the entire FedEx fleet of jet aircraft with 750 manure-powered cargo dirigibles in a radical proposal known as Project Z. Dubbed "Zappellins" (I named them myself, says Raj), these 800 foot long monsters of the sky will speed across the night skies of the world at 100 mph, saving hundreds of millions in fuel and operational costs while carrying twice the freight of a typical wide body cargo aircraft.
A lone pilot will operate each airship, with most control functions handled through a new adaptation of existing eStar routing technology, which has been "a tremendous success story" according to Subramaniam. "We will simultaneously eliminate half our crew personnel and also save our environment by reducing greenhouse gases and global warming". Each Zappellin will carry 100 cows in a special pressurized and temperature controlled hold where their manure will be converted to a gas which will power onboard generators that lead to 6 electric motor nacelles, 3 per side of each ship. "The methane from cow flatulation will also be channeled into propulsion" says Raj.
Lift will be provided by hydrogen gas, because much safer helium is in short supply and quite expensive. "This will add to our savings and is quite safe" says Rufus Leeking, the FedEx VP of Air Operations." Previous safety concerns with helium have been eliminated, because our superior eStar technology will monitor lift systems and engage various safety systems to put out the fire(s) and/or lessen the explosion(s)". Leeking claims this newly proven technology will make Zappellins the safest and most effiecient aircraft ever produced.
Eventually, says Subramaniam, "Even our supplemental aircraft and vehicle fleets will be replaced by smaller versions of Zappellins known as FREDS , a logical extension of this new technology". At some point in the future, these smaller FREDS units will drop deliveries via parachute to all FedEx customers, eliminating the need for delivery couriers and associated sort facility personnel. eStar technology will allow each Zappellin to be self-sufficient and perform all sorting and routing procedures while aloft.
"We are going to bury both UPS and Amazon", says Subramaniam, who has patented this breakthrough technology, thereby denying competitors access to it.
Former CEO and Chairman Frederick W. Smith, who has secretly overseen Project Z has been quoted as saying "This is a game changer of epic proportions. Bravo Zulu, Raj, and BZ to your whole team. This is a WINNER".
