Real-life versions of "thats logistics"

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by soberups, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Heres a few real life versions of the "Thats Logistics" jingle (sung to the tune of "Thats A'more")


    When they cram the whole mall
    In a car thats too small,
    Thats Logistics!

    When they shove in the stops
    'til your preloader drops
    Thats Logistics

    To run scratch there's no hope
    'cuz I.E. is on dope
    Thats Logistics

    When your boss screams out loud
    at your overallowed
    Thats Logistics

    When your trace is all wrong
    'cuz I.E. hits the bong
    Thats Logistics
  2. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Your timestudy's a joke
    cuz I.E. snorts the coke
    Thats Logistics

    Tire mark on some grass
    Now they're riding your ass
    Thats Logistics

    A suspension for me
    'cuz my mirror clipped a tree
    Thats Logistics

    Its like peak every day
    when I.E. gets its way
    Thats Logistics

    When our service just sucks
    'cuz there ain't enough trucks
    Thats Logistics

    When the customers hate
    that you always come late
    Thats Logistics
  3. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    When they dont have a clue
    yet they're managing you
    Thats Logistics

    When your bosses are fools
    who invent stupid rules
    Thats Logistics

    When the customer's :censored2:
    that his pickup got missed
    Thats Logistics

    Much harassment you'll face
    if you cant keep our pace
    Thats Logistics

    14 hours you'll run
    with no hope to get done
    Thats Logistics

    When you work late at night
    'cuz our "volume is light"
    Thats Logistics

    15 seconds to pee is
    what's allowed by I.E.
    Thats Logistics

    You cant break trace to eat
    you cant idle for heat
    Thats Logistics

    We will lengthen your day
    take allowance away
    Thats Logistics

    When your load is a mess
    and your boss could care less
    Thats Logistics

    When your boss is a ####
    with a skull thats too thick
    Thats Logistics

    When you run extra miles
    'cuz your load is in piles
    Thats Logistics

    One-inch scratch I did make;
    60 photos they take
    Thats Logistics

    If your'e working in June
    by the light of the moon
    Thats Logistics
  4. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Well, Dean Martin is rolling over in his grave !!
  5. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    Haven't we already done this?
  6. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Sober is 6'2", 250 lbs and carries a weapon--you tell him.
  7. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    The bigger they are, yada yada yada....
  8. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    ...the happier she is?
  9. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    Probably why wifey is so miserable...... :-(
  10. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    I also play with kittens. I pick flowers. I enjoy listening to ABBA and the Carpenters. I get excited about new cleaning products that I see on infomercials. Ive only been in one fight my entire life; it was in 4th grade and I got my ass kicked. I watch chick flicks with a box of Kleenex on my lap. I am a 250 lb walking contradiction!
  11. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    And we love you!
    (PS I sometimes cry at commercials)


    Hilarious!!!! and VERY clever!
  13. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    I'm the same stats and the same guy it seems. Power on brother!!!
  14. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    Come on you can never have enough logistics.
  15. menotyou

    menotyou bella amicizia

    Awesome Job, Sober!!!! Absolutely brilliant!!!
  16. AKX

    AKX New Member

    When routes are cut
    Youll get your delivery when we pickup
    Thats Logistics
  17. menotyou

    menotyou bella amicizia

    AKX, a quick look and your avatar looks like a Jager bomb.
  18. faded jeans

    faded jeans just a member

  19. AKX

    AKX New Member

    menotyou, its a Jager IV. Its my life support on the weekends.
  20. hurricanegunner

    hurricanegunner UPSPoop

    When they cut out some routes just because they wear suits, that's logistics.