sick amusement

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by soberups, Mar 19, 2008.

  1. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    So the other day Im walking up to a house to make a delivery. The customer had the stereo going, so he never heard me pull up. I smell weed through the open window, and can hear the unmistakeable sound of a bong hit in progress. So I wait...and wait...and wait...until I hear his thumb let up off the carb hole, then I POUND on the door and announce "UPS" in a deep voice.:devil3: My timing was perfect; I scared the crap out of the poor guy right at the EXACT moment when his lungs were maxed out. This sent him into an uncontrollable fit of spastic, hacking coughing. I could see him through the window, his eyes were watering, he had snot running out of his nose, and in his panic he knocked his bong off of the coffee table and spilled weed and bong water all over the floor. His friend was jumping around trying to hide everything. It was priceless. When he finally made it to the door I very politely gave him his package, but while he was signing the DIAD I kept sniffing the air and looking around with a suspicious look on my face like I smelled something funny. I'm betting he was paranoid for the rest of the day!!:rofl:
  2. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    OMG I am laughing so hard. I don't care who you are that is freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rofl::rofl::rofl:
  3. browndude

    browndude New Member

    uhhhhh how is it that you seem to know so much about bongs? lol
  4. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    I agree Browndude, as I read that is was like reading science fiction.
  5. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Science fiction or not it is still funny as hell. Don't you guys ever read comic strips just for a laugh?
  6. ikoi62

    ikoi62 Member

    I got a good laugh from it!:happy-very:
  7. faded jeans

    faded jeans just a member

    What's a bong?
  8. rod

    rod retired and happy

    far out:peaceful:
  9. Channahon

    Channahon New Member

    Hope their reading material didn't get wet!!

    High Times magazine is still out there on
  10. ikoi62

    ikoi62 Member

  11. mattwtrs

    mattwtrs Retired Senior Member

    Drugs, sex & rock-n-roll. Sooner or later you will observe it out on the delivery area! You usually never forget it either even when you wish you could!
  12. brownIEman

    brownIEman Well-Known Member

    that is awesome... Agreed, don't matter who you are, this is a funny story...

    Thanks for posting it, I am going to be chuckling the rest of the day :happy-very:
  13. filthpig

    filthpig Active Member

    I used to deliver in one of the "hippie" parts of town and ran into that alot. What a hoot.
  14. filthpig

    filthpig Active Member

    True. Unfortunately, the sex part has never involved anything good. There are some things you just can't "unsee".
  15. feeder53

    feeder53 ADKtrails

    Bong is the noise you get when you hit a gong with a clapper.
  16. Big Babooba

    Big Babooba Well-Known Member

    Having a route in the middle of 5 colleges I have delivered to many student apartment complexes. I have made a few deliveries where I hoped that I didn't run into the local police because I smelled like I was partying along with the customers. BTW, I never inhaled:wink2:.
  17. Harley Rider

    Harley Rider 30 yrs & counting

    Great story!

    Once I was delivering to a house and the guys opened the door. The smoke rolled out the door. It was so thick it looked like the house was on fire. Had alot of deliveries and smelled weed but nothing like that before.
  18. upsgrunt

    upsgrunt Well-Known Member

    Isn't it funny how some of it smells so much better than others? I can tell when I deliver to the rich college students; they smoke the high dollar good smelling stuff. The poorer ones get by on the ditch weed.
  19. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    Nice one Sober
  20. "Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent, the rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin."