Stubborn Coworker Headed For Trouble

Ms. Sort

Package Handler
Very concerned here and just looking for a bit of advice. A fellow Preload/friend has a ridiculous attendance problem (already burned through option/whatever days for the year), which has earned him the scorn of management. Sore back, stomach problems, flu...he's had it all. After not seeing him around yesterday I called to check on him and tell him to dial down the partying before he gets a termination letter. He broke down crying and said he had been diagnosed with Stage II Myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and doesn't have the money or wherewithal to pursue treatment. I told him to at least get on FMLA. He's afraid doing so will get him the proverbial "target on the back" and the powers that be will just find some reason to get rid of him anyway. He lives alone, his mother's in bad health and his father doesn't get along with him so there goes any kind of support system. His solution: "Start showing up to work no matter how bad I feel. Work until the day I collapse and the paramedics come to drag me away". This breaks my heart but my hands are tied. How can I help someone who refuses to help himself? Is there at least some helpline he can call? I hate to admit it but, despite the hyperbole, I can't help but feel his fear of disciplinary repercussion is somewhat justified.
 

Ms. Sort

Package Handler
Tell him he has a bigger target on him for attendance than he ever would filing FMLA. How long has he been at UPS

About five years, I think. Never been in any serious trouble, to my knowledge, aside from a verbal warning a few months ago for attendance. And I tried to tell him pretty much what you said.
 
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Turdferguson

Just a turd
About five years, I think. Never been in any serious trouble, to my knowledge.
If he has been here five years then he has insurance through TeamCare to cover his diagnosis. Tell him file FMLA paperwork, and if he wants get a note from doctor excusing absences. If he wants to he can tell them what the diagnosis is but under HIPAA he doesn't have to
 

Ms. Sort

Package Handler
If he has been here five years then he has insurance through TeamCare to cover his diagnosis. Tell him file FMLA paperwork, and if he wants get a note from doctor excusing absences. If he wants to he can tell them what the diagnosis is but under HIPAA he doesn't have to

Okay! Thank you. I'll let him know. I hate to see someone who actually likes the job and wants to be there get lumped into the same pile with the reprobates, tweakers, slackers and alcoholics. But it's not like he's done anything to prove otherwise.
 

Wally

BrownCafe Innovator & King of Puns
I have seen people collapse and get carried away. They drag you back to work after you recover, so that plan won't work.

This guy need to focus on his treatment right now.
 

Indecisi0n

Well-Known Member
Very concerned here and just looking for a bit of advice. A fellow Preload/friend has a ridiculous attendance problem (already burned through option/whatever days for the year), which has earned him the scorn of management. Sore back, stomach problems, flu...he's had it all. After not seeing him around yesterday I called to check on him and tell him to dial down the partying before he gets a termination letter. He broke down crying and said he had been diagnosed with Stage II Myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and doesn't have the money or wherewithal to pursue treatment. I told him to at least get on FMLA. He's afraid doing so will get him the proverbial "target on the back" and the powers that be will just find some reason to get rid of him anyway. He lives alone, his mother's in bad health and his father doesn't get along with him so there goes any kind of support system. His solution: "Start showing up to work no matter how bad I feel. Work until the day I collapse and the paramedics come to drag me away". This breaks my heart but my hands are tied. How can I help someone who refuses to help himself? Is there at least some helpline he can call? I hate to admit it but, despite the hyperbole, I can't help but feel his fear of disciplinary repercussion is somewhat justified.
You'll be fine.
 

trickpony1

Well-Known Member
I know someone who has myeloma.
It's nothing to mess with and the longer he delays treatment and recovery, the worse it could get.

Apply for FMLA and get treatment ASAP. The company can't/won't do anything if he follows the proper sequence. The company can fire him for attendance issues.

Do the right thing.
 

AlliSeeisBrown

Well-Known Member
It's hard to help people who can't help themselves. This is on a smaller level but kind of the same issue. My friend works at the local sort with me and his supe keeps forcing him to work 30 minutes prior to his paid start time. Apparently my friend has been working 30 minutes before his actual paid start for 2 months now. I told him to quit that :censored2:. Don't let these supervisors harass you and force you to work off the clock. I told him to file a train of grievances for multiple things but hes afraid to get fired. He literally won't help himself. He continues to donate 2.5 hours of time to the company every week. You can only do so much to help others.
 

Ms. Sort

Package Handler
I'm guilty of that. It takes 15-20 minutes to locate placards, a crayon, a functioning tape gun, scanner, belt, scan in the trucks and take care of send-agains. Packages start avalanching 10 minutes to start time, then PCM. Scrambling around to get things ready with 6 other people who show up right at start time as the slide is backing up is not my ideal start to a smooth shift. As long as I'm left alone and adequately prepared for the shift I don't mind giving up the extra few minutes a day. Which begs the question...if a supe/manager sees someone doing this every day, do they think, "Remember her! Great way to show initiative and detail to the job!" or "Look at this sucker, working off the clock! Let's exploit the **** outta this. Probably doesn't even know what a grievance looks like anyway."
 

BigUnionGuy

Got the T-Shirt
Very concerned here and just looking for a bit of advice.


You can only do so much to help others.

I'm guilty of that. It takes 15-20 minutes to locate placards, a crayon, a functioning tape gun, scanner, belt, scan in the trucks and take care of send-agains. Packages start avalanching 10 minutes to start time, then PCM. Scrambling around to get things ready with 6 other people who show up right at start time as the slide is backing up is not my ideal start to a smooth shift. As long as I'm left alone and adequately prepared for the shift I don't mind giving up the extra few minutes a day. Which begs the question...if a supe/manager sees someone doing this every day, do they think, "Remember her! Great way to show initiative and detail to the job!" or "Look at this sucker, working off the clock! Let's exploit the **** outta this. Probably doesn't even know what a grievance looks like anyway."


What's the real story ?
 

john chesney

Well-Known Member
Very concerned here and just looking for a bit of advice. A fellow Preload/friend has a ridiculous attendance problem (already burned through option/whatever days for the year), which has earned him the scorn of management. Sore back, stomach problems, flu...he's had it all. After not seeing him around yesterday I called to check on him and tell him to dial down the partying before he gets a termination letter. He broke down crying and said he had been diagnosed with Stage II Myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and doesn't have the money or wherewithal to pursue treatment. I told him to at least get on FMLA. He's afraid doing so will get him the proverbial "target on the back" and the powers that be will just find some reason to get rid of him anyway. He lives alone, his mother's in bad health and his father doesn't get along with him so there goes any kind of support system. His solution: "Start showing up to work no matter how bad I feel. Work until the day I collapse and the paramedics come to drag me away". This breaks my heart but my hands are tied. How can I help someone who refuses to help himself? Is there at least some helpline he can call? I hate to admit it but, despite the hyperbole, I can't help but feel his fear of disciplinary repercussion is somewhat justified.
Short term disability then long term if he can’t return.
 

olroadbeech

Happy Verified UPSer
are u a shop steward? you can defend him when they try to fire him. or harass him. or help him file the fmla papers. he may listen to you if you were a steward or brought one along to convince him to sign papers.

It's nice for you to care but i know what it is like to try to help someone who does not want the help. They have to hit bottom before they will listen.

good luck
 

Brisket

Well-Known Member
I'm guilty of that. It takes 15-20 minutes to locate placards, a crayon, a functioning tape gun, scanner, belt, scan in the trucks and take care of send-agains. Packages start avalanching 10 minutes to start time, then PCM. Scrambling around to get things ready with 6 other people who show up right at start time as the slide is backing up is not my ideal start to a smooth shift. As long as I'm left alone and adequately prepared for the shift I don't mind giving up the extra few minutes a day. Which begs the question...if a supe/manager sees someone doing this every day, do they think, "Remember her! Great way to show initiative and detail to the job!" or "Look at this sucker, working off the clock! Let's exploit the **** outta this. Probably doesn't even know what a grievance looks like anyway."

Psst! Do not work off the clock, ever! What if You get hurt while ‘working’ off the clock? When they ask when it happened, and you answer before the shift, you just may not be paid if you are injured and have to be on workman’s comp.
 

brownIEman

Well-Known Member
Very concerned here and just looking for a bit of advice. A fellow Preload/friend has a ridiculous attendance problem (already burned through option/whatever days for the year), which has earned him the scorn of management. Sore back, stomach problems, flu...he's had it all. After not seeing him around yesterday I called to check on him and tell him to dial down the partying before he gets a termination letter. He broke down crying and said he had been diagnosed with Stage II Myeloma (bone marrow cancer) and doesn't have the money or wherewithal to pursue treatment. I told him to at least get on FMLA. He's afraid doing so will get him the proverbial "target on the back" and the powers that be will just find some reason to get rid of him anyway. He lives alone, his mother's in bad health and his father doesn't get along with him so there goes any kind of support system. His solution: "Start showing up to work no matter how bad I feel. Work until the day I collapse and the paramedics come to drag me away". This breaks my heart but my hands are tied. How can I help someone who refuses to help himself? Is there at least some helpline he can call? I hate to admit it but, despite the hyperbole, I can't help but feel his fear of disciplinary repercussion is somewhat justified.

His fear of discipline is justified if he keeps failing to show up. His fear of retribution for applying for FMLA is not justified, and makes me wonder if his story of cancer is BS to hide different problems. Sadly it happens, I've seen worse.
Tell him to apply for FMLA immediately, and take notes about any discipline he receives from that point forward, even undocumented harsh conversations. If he can show a pattern of discipline or harassment where none existed probably to FMLA he has an appearance of retaliation - and the law takes that seriously and so does HR. I never worked with any management stupid enough to screw with that, not even with POS' who we were certain were abusing intermittent FMLA.

If he's been there 5 years he has good medical coverage, access to FMLA to protect his job. If treatment winds up being debilitating in nature, he can qualify for disability.

At the end of the day though he has to act on this. It sounds like you are dealing with someone who either has their priorities completely out of whack or who is feeding you a line of BS. If he steadfastly refuses to help himself there is little you can do. I know that sucks and I admire your empathy, but that's the reality.
 
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