The Dog and Panda Show

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Sep 10, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    As I said in an earlier post, Uncle Fred is going to pull-on his Depends and venture out into the field next week, and maybe even visit some stations. My bet is on the 767 rollout in Washington and perhaps check-out a new Ground sort facility or two, or three given the rate they are being constructed. Maybe he'll hit an Express station...I doubt it. Nobody has conformed his destination yet.

    As others have pointed-out, it's a true spectacle when one of the "bigs" pulls into town, because the Dog and Panda show goes into full-blown action. This is when all of the old rusty ramp equipment gets parked somewhere else for a week, the bathrooms have all the graffiti removed, and the toilets all get repaired and have real ass gaskets and toilet paper in them. Every manager who can possibly be there will don their best JC Penney or Sears suit and stand in the crowd of well-wishers to welcome the exalted Smith, Thornton or Bronczek. Yes, it's as if Jesus himself has descended from the heavens and has taken the corporate jet to your ramp.

    As the jet holding the Golden One(s) slows to a stop, the security vehicles pull alongside and escort the Divine One(s) into the building lest their feet touch the unholy ground that is the ramp. Throngs of ass-kissing management and employees will struggle to see these gods and perhaps touch their hand or Armani suit. It's a show only Barnum and Bailey could truly appreciate.

    At the station level, there is fresh paint everywhere, banners are hung, and Costco sheet cake appears with some reminder of past FedEx glory etched in icing on the top. The hourlies will be forced to hear a scripted speech or have "questions" posed by a hand-selected ass kisser who will do anything to whore themselves out for extra hours or maybe a management job someday.

    These people act like they are Hollywood celebrities, and as if they are far above the rest of us. This is always sickening, but particularly so at Express because we're supposed to be such an "egalitarian" organization. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Remember, we are "broke", but we can afford $6M per year for Fred's security and similar amounts for our other rock stars...MT3 and Dave. This is insane. In the distant past, Fred's "security" was the local Corporate Security guy, and maybe a couple of managers hanging around to make sure nobody got too chummy. The fact that he needs Secret Service level protection now speaks volumes about the way employees think of these assclowns. If I had a rock, and I could throw it far enough, I might just do would a lot of others. Perhaps they will ask all of us to start removing our shoes so we can't fling them at Smith or MT3 Muslim-style.

    It really makes me sick to see these "superstars" treated like royalty when they scorn the very people that made them rich. It's obvious that they get-off on being doted on as if they were the Pope or British royalty, and it's just plain wrong to waste all of that money on such a bunch of talentless, egocentric buffoons who couldn't manage a McDonalds properly, much less FedEx.
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2013
  2. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    In situations like this the management's ass kissing skills go into overdrive. it's all beyond sickening. Smith thinks he's God and so do a lot of managers.

    I'd find some reason not to be there that day.
  3. StuffItFred

    StuffItFred Member

    Yeah, I would use a personal day. Because personally I don't care to hear his bs!
  4. chargerlou

    chargerlou Member

    Brilliant start my orientation tomorrow with ups and will start drivers school on the 23rd Amen
  5. whenIgetthere

    whenIgetthere Well-Known Member

    That sounded just like the run-up to Happy Hands visiting a my old station a few years ago! It was hilarious to watch management fix all that the dilapidated equipment we had been complaining about for years.
  6. StuffItFred

    StuffItFred Member

    Even worse try working in the same station as Happy Hands before he put on his knee pads and got his purple helmet award into management.