MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Fred,
I'm at the Maui house if you need to call me back...and I think you should. If you're too busy at the DC Party House with all of the Senators, get back to me tomorrow. Matt's in the Hamptons this week, so maybe we can do a conference call.
Here's my point. Remember the consulting team we hired last year. Yes, the one you fired after a week because they weren't saying the right things? Fred...maybe they were right. Maybe we do need to change some things at Express. You and I both know we're not going to make your $1.7B promise to Wall Street...I know you'll lie and say we did, but you and I both know better. Sooner or later, the lid is going to come off and it's going to smell...bad.
At some stations, turnover is running around 50%, and among new hires it is much worse. DRA has created massive inefficiency and overtime, and our budgeted hours are through the roof. Plus, the natives are getting restless if you know what I mean. I saw Jim Hoffa when I was at my Aspen home last month, and he assures me the Teamsters are 100% with us...they won't even answer phone calls from employees at FedEx. Jim's a good guy, and well worth what we're paying him.
But we've been raping the hourlies for years, and I think they're getting mad. The Kennesaw incident gave us some bad press, and the Orland crash has the public looking at us hard. Maybe we should make a few changes. I'm thinking doubling the BBQ budget and a 1% raise next October....glad you liked my idea to push raises back further each year!!
I'll be at my Jackson Hole home next week. Maybe you and Matt can take the Gulfstream and come out for a week. Dick Cheney says he'll come over and give us some advice, and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner will come if we give each of them a million. I think it would be money well-spent, Fred.
We've got to move on this, Fred, because my mistress and I have 2 weeks planned at my home in the south of France at the end of June. The wife thinks I'm going to a "European Conference". A few Republican bigwigs are going to drop-by for a couple of days, so I'm going to be passing out some gifts. We might even get a few Democrats to show.
Finally, a lot of employees think we are out of touch and only into enriching ourselves. Can you believe that? Ungrateful bastards!! Hey, I'll call you from the GOP luau tonight, OK? I'll be passing out $5M, which should keep us safe for now. After the party we're going aboard my new yacht, which was just delivered from the shipyard in Taiwan....175 feet long, with a helipad, a pool, and a killer bar with disco dance floor. I got it for a cool $450M....a bargain!! But they messed-up on the gold toilets...they forgot to plate the seats.
Sincerely,
Dave
I'm at the Maui house if you need to call me back...and I think you should. If you're too busy at the DC Party House with all of the Senators, get back to me tomorrow. Matt's in the Hamptons this week, so maybe we can do a conference call.
Here's my point. Remember the consulting team we hired last year. Yes, the one you fired after a week because they weren't saying the right things? Fred...maybe they were right. Maybe we do need to change some things at Express. You and I both know we're not going to make your $1.7B promise to Wall Street...I know you'll lie and say we did, but you and I both know better. Sooner or later, the lid is going to come off and it's going to smell...bad.
At some stations, turnover is running around 50%, and among new hires it is much worse. DRA has created massive inefficiency and overtime, and our budgeted hours are through the roof. Plus, the natives are getting restless if you know what I mean. I saw Jim Hoffa when I was at my Aspen home last month, and he assures me the Teamsters are 100% with us...they won't even answer phone calls from employees at FedEx. Jim's a good guy, and well worth what we're paying him.
But we've been raping the hourlies for years, and I think they're getting mad. The Kennesaw incident gave us some bad press, and the Orland crash has the public looking at us hard. Maybe we should make a few changes. I'm thinking doubling the BBQ budget and a 1% raise next October....glad you liked my idea to push raises back further each year!!
I'll be at my Jackson Hole home next week. Maybe you and Matt can take the Gulfstream and come out for a week. Dick Cheney says he'll come over and give us some advice, and Mitch McConnell and John Boehner will come if we give each of them a million. I think it would be money well-spent, Fred.
We've got to move on this, Fred, because my mistress and I have 2 weeks planned at my home in the south of France at the end of June. The wife thinks I'm going to a "European Conference". A few Republican bigwigs are going to drop-by for a couple of days, so I'm going to be passing out some gifts. We might even get a few Democrats to show.
Finally, a lot of employees think we are out of touch and only into enriching ourselves. Can you believe that? Ungrateful bastards!! Hey, I'll call you from the GOP luau tonight, OK? I'll be passing out $5M, which should keep us safe for now. After the party we're going aboard my new yacht, which was just delivered from the shipyard in Taiwan....175 feet long, with a helipad, a pool, and a killer bar with disco dance floor. I got it for a cool $450M....a bargain!! But they messed-up on the gold toilets...they forgot to plate the seats.
Sincerely,
Dave
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