The MrFedex 2016 New Employee Handbook

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    If you're new here, or just lurking, please pay attention. For long-timers, you probably don't need to read it. From a 30-year employee who has pretty much seen it all, and wished he had never heard of FedEx. Here goes...

    1. At-Will Employment: When you apply, you will be forced to sign something that says you are an "at-will" employee. Simply put, you can be fired for anything at any time, and you probably won't have legal recourse because you signed on Day 1. There are exceptions, but not many. Plus, you will sign numerous other documents, including your Employee Handbook, which contain this clause. Again, you will be forced to sign it, or you will be most likely be fired.

    2. GFT/Open Door: FedEx likes to pretend these are a substitute for Weingarten protection enjoyed by union members. Not quite. What these really are is generally an opportunity for you to self-incriminate and give FedEx Legal the ammunition to terminate you. If you're a minority or have something substantial on management, you could be cleared or "win". Not likely.

    3. Management Lies: They lie about anything and everything and will happily toss you under the bus to protect themselves. While we do have some decent managers, most are either failed couriers or losers who couldn't get a management gig at a decent employer. Some will ask you to falsify and then deny it. You will be fired...not them.

    4. Falsification: This will get you fired, but only if you are on the naughty list. Suck enough management butt and you can do almost anything and get away with it. Your best bet is to never do it, so it won't be a problem. This includes working through lunch, faking times in your PowerPad etc. Don't be stupid.

    5. Retirement: You don't have any. The PPA/PPP is a crappy annuity that is in no way a substitute for a real retirement plan. Mr. Smith killed the real retirement in 2008, and it wasn't spectacular. This should tell you something.

    6. The 10-Step Plan: It isn't 10 years. This means that you will never reach top scale at FedEx. I personally know several people with well over 20 years that still are not topped-out. Again, this should tell you something.

    7. Injuries: It's best if you don't report them unless they are very serious. If you want to keep your job, suck it up and deal with the pain if you can. Reporting an injury is like signing your own death warrant.

    8. Benefits: Over-priced, expensive, and poor quality. Most people don't even use them unless they get really sick. They toss you some freebies to make it sound like you're getting a good deal. You aren't.

    9. Purple Promise/PSP/ Bravo Zulu etc: All garbage and meaningless. You can get a BZ on Friday and be fired Monday for something minor or imagined. These are all "rah-rah" and "go team" BS that are absolutely useless except for getting more performance out of the simple-minded employees who love this kind of crap.

    10. WAD: "Work As Directed". If you like working for FedEx (some do), WAD is your friend. Never do more than you have to, because the reward for hard work at FedEx is more work and no extra pay. No matter how stupid it seems, if it is a policy or a management order, just do it, and then say you were working as directed when it turns to crap.

    There is much more, but know that my goal is to prevent you from making the same mistakes I did and making Express a career. If you are young enough, get out, find a trade or go back to school. If you enjoy this kind of work, leave and pay your dues at UPS. I'd also advise getting a Class A CDL.

    I'm not lying.
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    Last edited: Jan 3, 2016
  2. outtatime

    outtatime Active Member

    Express really isn't a bad gig as long as you're not a courier. And as a newb don't even think you're getting a summer vacation unless you have about 15 years in. The week between Christmas and New Years off? Not a chance in hell.
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  3. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Not unless you get "lucky" and injure yourself.
  4. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    True. My list wasn't meant to be inclusive, and feel free to add to it. I really want new employees to figure FedEx out before wasting their time.

    Why don't I quit? I probably/maybe have gone PT to pursue my real estate business. With several kids under 26, Obamacare is expensive, and since I get no benefits as a real estate broker/agent (true independent contractor), I might or might not put in some minimum hours for Fredward. 1 real estate sale on a large home is more than will make as a courier for the entire year. That said, real estate is very competitive and getting good listings can be challenging. I also get great contacts for real estate by being a courier.

    So, I have made it work for me, despite regretting ever making this shathole a career.
  5. dex 84

    dex 84 Active Member

    11. Don't give them anything. Don't work through your lunch, even to just organize your truck. Don't drive while on break. Don't move your truck before/after you punch in, etc.

    12. Don't pay out of pocket for anything unless you don't mind waiting months to get reimbursed.
  6. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    13. If in doubt, take that sick day. You earned it.
  7. NonyaBiznes

    NonyaBiznes Yanked Out My Purple-Blood I.V. In 2000!

    Work overtime the week before Thanksgiving. It will take you over 30 years, to get that Friday off. If you plan on spending any enjoyable time with your family on Thanksgiving, be prepared to call off sick. You won't paid for the holiday, but you will get paid for the sick day (Friday). The overtime you worked the week before, will help with the bills that week.

    Oh, why did I post this? I've been doing it for the last four years. Called out Christmas Eve a few years back. Bah Hum Bug.
  8. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Some of my best friends are black.

    That's strange. Of all the problems I've had and have with the company, getting reimbursed in a timely manner for expenses has been the least of them. Never had an issue and have had few questions asked. Whoever handles that should be allowed to handle other things as well based on my experience.
  9. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    They can start by eliminating your position.
  10. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Some of my best friends are black.

    You remind me of an elimination.
  11. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Spoken like a true thunderous dump. Big emphasis on the Thunder part. Is that how you created the name?
  12. Joe Nuno

    Joe Nuno Member

    Well said Mr. Fedex
  13. Serf

    Serf Active Member

    I liken #3 to Gospel. It has never failed me yet as long as I remain aware of it. And #5 is NOT your 401k. It is the 5% or so of your gross income they kick in to your PPA. As a 35 hour a week hack, I will have accumulated $77,000 in 30 years and I will take it as a lump sum, because the annuity payment is like 180 bucks or so a month. Factor in tax, and inflation....:poop:. And the majority of my co workers (mostly mid tier ppl) do not know anything about retirement, 401k, stock purchase plan, etc. Because they never asked, and because nobody so much as mentioned it.
  14. bacha29

    bacha29 Well-Known Member

    Mr. Worker: If your pension is a "qualified" retirement plan and you take it as a lump sum and if you take it before age 59 and a half and are not disabled you could end up paying income tax at a higher rate than you would pay in normal years along with a penalty of 10% of the lump sum. So be certain about what you're doing.
  15. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Single digit midget!

    Even if you roll it over (or is that even an option)?
  16. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Some of my best friends are black.

    You and Cactus are really hung up on that, aren't you? Still haven't explained why I would create an account to argue with myself, but then you can't explain any of your other nonsense, either.
  17. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Shill control musta' got involved and realized that idea bombed. You musta' conviently forgot.
  18. 59 Dano

    59 Dano Some of my best friends are black.

    LOL, as I was saying about your nonsense...
  19. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    You are a living example of "leadership failure", both as a shill and also as a quasi-manager or whatever it is you pretend to be.
  20. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Only you can explain your own stupidity in creating Thunder. It's discredits you even more.