I'll be honest.
I'm not sure what you are looking for.
Sympathy? Atonement? Redemption? Satisfaction? Direction?
It's a very private look in a VERY PUBLIC PLACE.
You've had a journey that most of us aren't prepared to question or make fun of.
I'm having a hard time trying to figure out your place here or what you are trying to get out of this and us.
I hope and pray that God's plan for you comes to fruition.
I appreciate the honesty.
I knew a lot of you have the same sentiment and don't understand,
so that's precisely why I'm posting this. Also, as mentioned a few other times, it's been unexpectedly therapeutic.
I'm aware of the exposure, but thanks for the concern.
I'm typically a very private person, but I felt like the pro's outweighed the con's, here. The only con's I could think of, were that everyone was going to think I was just continuing to whine and am looking for sympathy (called it, lol). However, that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know that
sympathy serves no useful purpose, and often hinders ones healing/progress, if they waste time and energy seeking it out.
That's not what this is about. Think what you may, but it just simply isn't.
When I first came here, I used the 'anonymous' avatar and tried to hide my identity
specifically because I wanted to direct all the attention to the cause.
I had no desire to make this about me, and even took steps to try to keep it from becoming that (since I'd obviously have to first attract attention to my 'persona' in order to direct it anywhere else). The embarrassment/personal factor, or judgements made against who I truly am, were barely even on the radar since everyone seemed to get the WAY wrong idea of me, right from the start. As I started posting more, to explain my claims, it became apparent that I couldn't do this without actually bringing the personal aspects into it. Once I started to, by posting the first journal pages, it just seemed to make things worse because of being out of context. The first impression judgements were completely overshadowing and detracting from the cause I was trying to bring awareness to (which is why a lot of you are still asking what the cause even is). The constant trolling obviously didn't help. So, yes, my posts are long, but you guys are partly to blame, here.
So, seeing as how you guys are still confused about 'why I'm here or what I expect to get from this', I'm showing and telling you. Right now.
I'm here to raise awareness of what the extremely hostile environments, at UPS, can do to people. Even mentally/physically tough people.
Before you respond with the redundant, "But everyone already knows that and nobody cares", ask yourself why YOU are here. Because I'm willing to bet both my damn kidneys that it all goes back to you wanting to draw awareness to something. Whether it's to yourself, your ideas, your thoughts, your opinions, your hate, your jokes, it's all the same. We are all here for essentially the same reason, so I'm struggling to understand what it is that you guys don't understand about THAT. If that still confuses you, I'm here because I want to be and that's really all the further I should even have to explain that.
