what's your favorite "porta-john" to use while on the road?

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by HomeDelivery, Sep 4, 2011.

  1. HomeDelivery

    HomeDelivery Well-Known Member

    hey, i know it's disgusting, but it beats doing this:


    haha! :surprised:

    ok so some fellow drivers will use those small water bottles:

    "that's too small!

    how can you fit the tip of your wang in that thing!!!

    what happens if you're still going when you're reaching it's capacity?!?!" :happy-very:


    OK, when I know it's going to be a really long day and in a rural route, I make sure to bring a few empty bottles of this besides some snacks and lots of juice/water:


    you pull the inserts/ inner spouts with a pair of pliers and you got yourself a nice self-contained jug for your #1s...

    one driver has gotten a huge BJs wholesale or Costco version & the opening was huge enough for you to tea-bag that jug! :funny: I was like "dayum!" then he showed me his map of his area... ouch 15-25 minutes apart from one stop to the next sucks!!!!
  2. HomeDelivery

    HomeDelivery Well-Known Member

    PS: as for #2, I make sure the first delivery is at my bathroom's throne before I head out to work :smart:


    i wont eat anything heavy for the whole day; just drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated & use the porta john if i don't sweat it out while running from my package van to the customer's front porch 100x a day...
  3. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

    What do you think DR bags are for?
  4. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

    If your buddie's rural route is so spread out, there's gotta be plenty of real estate for him to pull to the side of some desolate road and drain the main vein.
  5. HomeDelivery

    HomeDelivery Well-Known Member

    it's a mixed route... 1st part of the day is concentrated suburbia... then out to the sticks... then back to the suburbs

    I don't want to be outside behind a tree; what happens when an animal comes to take a bite out of me???

    i covered his route for a week & understands how it will drive a courier to drink at the end of the work week :P

    that vid is probably a temp driver for peak season; an experienced driver should know better to use one of these useful tools

    I dunno how the women do this job; maybe using depends while driving for 14 hours on the road???
  6. HomeDelivery

    HomeDelivery Well-Known Member

    good for nuthin; the small bags with imprinted fedex logo and 800 number are so thin... i wouldn't want it to leak out & double-baggin' it just wastes too much time
  7. SmithBarney

    SmithBarney Well-Known Member

    Only on Rural Routes, otherwise all bathrooms are known on route. Public or otherwise.

    When I worked at UPS, I used DR bags on several occasions on a very rural route,
    try to use DR bags without the logo... so when you discard it, if someone finds it, it doesn't become a political nightmare... ;)
    (yes double triple bagging it without question)

    I don't care if you do #2 in the AM before work, if you have a "bad" day, you have no choice.
    And doing it in the back of the truck ensures that you won't get bit or a surprise visit from the public.

    As for those wondering how women do it... you'd be amazed what they can do when the need arises... I'll just say I had a Girlfriend once, and wow.

    Keep in mind if you use soda bottles for #1 use a colored bottle we had a CRR written up when he forgot to
    discard the bottle and the next day someone was in his truck saw it and filed a complaint, so a mtn dew bottle
    usually works wonders.


    ROFLMFAO!! This is almost as good as many how hotties (females for the fellers and males for the ladies) do you actually see in a week...lol

    Personally, I try to make sure I have AT LEAST one Gatorade or 1 litre Mtn Dew bottle, both have wide mouths, and yes the Dew is much better for the days you forget to take out the trash. If you are rural, and are lucky enough to be near a state park or rest area, a large cup from the trash will do in a pinch, just dump it out and put it back in the trash.
  9. snackdad

    snackdad Member

    Oh yes definitely take it with you at the end of the day and not just throw it in the trash can. One guy at my old station was a swing driver and not too bright. Once he got written up for leaving a full bottle in a female couriers truck. Second time again he leaves a full bottle of pee in a Snapple bottle in another females truck. This gal thought it was her peach tea from the day before and actually takes a swig. Disgusting! She was on way to tell management and she sees him and yells at him and pleads on his knees to not tell. She did not tell but come on!!
  10. whenIgetthere

    whenIgetthere Well-Known Member

    One time about 10 years ago, I'm going to meet for late freight. I get to the meet spot and one of the guys in my loop is already there. So I back up to him and give him a nice 'bump' which we always did to one another in our loop. After a few minutes he finally opens the door laughing, and says he was taking a p-ss into a bottle when I bumped his truck, and wound up spraying it all over the truck, gross! I'm just glad he didn't have any freight left, that would've been really gross! LMAO
  11. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Took a sprinter out on a Saturday that had a plastic Dr.Pepper bottle in the little basket by the floor. Just enough room to put my Diet Coke bottle there. Yep, reached back, picked up wrong bottle while going down road, took a swig of tobacco juice. I get nauseated just thinking about it.
  12. snackdad

    snackdad Member

    I understand the tobacco juice thing, I have seen it a lot. Also some couriers smoke tobacco so much in their trucks that the odor permeates everything and even we can identify their doc crate on the reload by the tobacco smell. If the smoker was a friend of management it was just overlooked.


    Been there man, just not at work, and I beat the crap out of my brother for it too..lol
  14. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    At least once you've done it you'll never make that mistake again!
  15. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    If you use your Courier Pak for #1 it's a PissPak, and if you use it for #2, it's a PooPak. Anything to keep you delivering and making $$$ for Fred. Bodily functions are "unproductive" time.
  16. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    It's 1 liter Coke bottles for #1 for me. Two times over the years I couldn't make it to a restroom for #2. Once was in what I thought was a remote spot in the New Mexico bootheel. Shock of my life when the prettiest Border Patrolwoman I'd ever seen rode up on horseback. She thought it was funny.
  17. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Am I the only one who was raised to use indoor plumbing?
  18. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is


    The trick is knowing where all the restrooms are on your route unless you're out in the extended areas where the side of a lonely old road with hardly no traffic and some nearby trees will do the trick.
  19. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    My body seems to know where the nearest bathroom is.:wink2:

    I have had country runs and there are many trees that I have marked. I have never, ever used an empty bottle or DR bag. That is just gross.
  20. HomeDelivery

    HomeDelivery Well-Known Member

    this is one of many tools in my totebox to keep myself "productive" I don't get paid by the hour, so I maximize my time accordingly. i also carry extra shoes, socks, uniform shirts, baby wipes, powder, etc in by box-o-tricks, but that's for another thread...

    as a cover driver, my stops-per-road-hour is slightly less than the regular driver's route since i'm doing their routes "blind"

    I do sweat out most of the liquids i take in, because I sometimes "run" not casually walk back & forth to the delivery van...

    when I do need the john & none is around, i'll resort to this... not with the DR bags; i agree that's gross. & doing #1 on a customer's property is worse!
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2011