You might be a preloader if . . .

Discussion in 'Lighten UPS' started by aspenleaf, Dec 4, 2006.

  1. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    You might be a preloader if . . .

    Your kitchen cabinets are properly loaded with labels facing out.

    You see other delivery trucks in your neighborhood and ask the driver if you can check the load.

    You put every box you see on its side and write a number on it with wax crayon.

    You always wear gloves and carry a wax crayon.

    You feel naked without your crayon.

    You can point out to your friends the route their package took by the labels on the boxes.

    You get upset that your friends don’t care about how they got their package.

    You wish people would use more tape on packages.

    You laugh when you go shopping and you see the team lift boxes that weigh 20 pounds.

    You can toss a 55lb bag of dog food over your shoulder like it’s a bag of rice.

    You wake up at 4 am on the weekends and think you are late for work.

    Every shirt you own has ground in dirt in anatomical places.

    For Christmas you gave your family and friends sturdy boxes and a lot of packing tape.

    You no longer think UPS drivers are “hotties” (the mystic kinda wears off when you work with them!)
  2. diadlover

    diadlover New Member

    You might be a UPS driver.......

    If at almost $30 an hour your high school educated self actually feels underpaid

    If you can remember the exact location and addresses of everyone on your route but can't find your car back at your hub

    If you've ever waived at the mailman when in your personal vehicle out of habit

    You go to a friends or family members house for the first time and critique their DR spots

    If you try to impress your friends by reciting the exact address and zip code of various malls, stores, etc.

    If at the very first sight of a Christmas decoration at your local department store makes you uncontrollably scream out curse words and punch your fists in the air cuz it's peak again.

    If the last time you had time to sleep with your wife was 11 months ago yet you just had a newborn.

    If you slapped your sister-in-law cuz she said she was going to name her baby "Ed".

    If you've ever been in an accident with your own personal vehicle and before showing any concern for your passengers you yell out, "Oh thank God I wasn't in my UPS truck!"

    If you've ever tapped your horn in your own personal vehicle while backing.

    If you've heard the same dumb joke "do you have a big package for me?" over 4,000 times.

    If your sister asked, "do you have a big package for me" just once out of those 4,000 times then you might be an Alabama UPS driver.

    If the only times you've ever heard your manager say "good job, buddy!" only to be followed by "for screwing up again".
  3. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    dl.......I still do #4 and I never even worked for UPS !!:)
  4. Keepingthemhonest

    Keepingthemhonest Bring'n sexy back

    ROFL!!That's me alright...there's still a couple of drivers that are hotties ;)
  5. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    Well of course there are! However, when I am with friends and they see the UPS guy they are drooling or what not and ask if I know him it makes laugh. Now if I hung out in the area that I load for I just might know the drivers but not for the other boxlines. People get really excited when they see the drivers but if you work with them you most likely are not jumping up and down when you see them. More like "oh crap here come the drivers and preload is not wrapped yet!" I know what time it is based upon when my guys show up. When my 9am start guy shows up and I am still pulling off the boxline I know it is peak time and after 8:30 am.
  6. hoser

    hoser Industrial Slob

    Re: You might be preloader if . . .

    you're a good man. :thumbup1:
  7. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    Damn, Aspen and DL, those were great!
  8. gray squirrel

    gray squirrel Member

    Re: You might be preloader if . . .

    How many times have you heard the joke of what happens when Fed ex, and UPS merges? It's hard to smile and laugh after a customer lays that joke out there, but the customer is always right.
  9. preloader

    preloader Bleeding Brown from ears

    Re: You might be preloader if . . .

    uggghhh, im completely fed up with that joke
  10. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    You could always twist it around and put UPS in front of the EX. . .but not in front of customers!
  11. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    Credit to aspenleaf,
    You wake up at 4 am on the weekends and think you are late for work

    Worse yet... you wake up at "5pm" , and call in thinking you are late(as you took a little snooze before the kids got home....)
    Only to hear the afternoon clerk answer the phone, and then you quietly Hang up. Did that more than once in my preload yrs.
  12. aspenleaf

    aspenleaf New Member

    Tooner I hate when that happens. Sometimes you just don't know what day it is. I have done that also.
  13. diadlover

    diadlover New Member

    Hey, thanks a lot!

    <cough> bump <cough>