From Der Fuhrer

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Aug 23, 2014.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I AM HEARING MANY STORIES OF FAILURE OF ALLEGIANCE TO ME AND TO FEDEX...I AM VERY UPSET!!! I have been so good to all of you, and you pay me back with poor performance and lies about me and this wonderful company.

    What about PSP? What about our industry-leading benefits and interline travel? As it is, I pay all of you way too much for a minimum-wage level job that a monkey could do blindfolded? People are leaving FedEx...WHY? I give and I give, and you crap all over me.

    My elite Security Squad will seek out non-believers and bring them to justice here in my bunker underneath the Memphis Airport. We are looking for you MrFedEx, Cactus, and Downhill Express. It is those like you that pollute the purity of PSP, The Purple Promise, and Guaranteed Fair Treatment that need to be hunted down like rats and exterminated.

    There is a breed of employee that I seek. Those that are pure and of Purple Blood, willing to work for free, and willing to sacrifice all to me, your Fuhrer, and to our beloved company. Any others must be ferreted out and DESTROYED!

    Profits are up, but they could be much higher if all of you would work harder for ME!! ARBEIT MACHT FREI!! (Work Makes You Free!). You reward is in Heaven, not here on Earth, so you must have a greater purpose. I AM THAT PURPOSE!!

    WORSHIP ME!! LOVE ME!! I AM YOUR GOD!!

    Profit is the highest purpose in your life. Forget yourself, your family, and your friends....I should be your only reason for existence and your dedication to FedEx and Memphis will be rewarded. Reveal the traitors to me!!

    Brown shirts will be available to any and all who wlll unite with me.

    Love,
    Your Fuhrer
     
  2. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

    Brown shirts? Switching to UPS now?
     
  3. Route 66

    Route 66 Flacid Member

    I am sincerely sorry for my past minor mis-deeds, Uncle Adolph - er I mean Fred. It was that evil Mr. FedEx and Cactus and Downhill Express who put me up to it. I have always thought you were wonderful (and still do to this very day).

    Those boys should be whipped (bare-bottomed) by Dano and forced to watch Frontline looped over and over again for at least one full hour while having copious amounts of purple Kool-Aid forced down their throats.

    That'll learn the nasty miscreants.

    Signed,
    Your Ever Faithful Servant, '66
     
  4. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    In my red-faced fury, I forgot to add your name to the list of the "Most Wanted". My secret police force will be in contact with you soon...you have been warned.

    Love,
    Adol...um Fred
     
  5. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member


    I think there is room for an 11th member of this elite group of people.
    Or, maybe this group.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2014
  6. Route 66

    Route 66 Flacid Member

    YIKES!!!:backingout:
     
  7. CJinx

    CJinx Well-Known Member

    Profit is the highest purpose in your life. Your professional life, anyway. Otherwise you wouldn't constantly be bitching about your pay. Just sayin' :greedy:
     
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Gott, in Himmel!! I have found my fraulein. Is your name Eva, by chance?
     
  9. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

     
  10. P.S.P= Profit in smith's Pocket.

    ZIEG HEIL AND SMILE!!!!!!

    ADD THE NAME OF FRED SMITH CAN SHOVE IT TO THE LIST OF ENEMIES.

    Bastogne
     
  11. SuperHandler

    SuperHandler Member

    Quit your bitching or prepare to bleed purple lazy boy.
     
  12. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Is that Troll meter monitoring you, because you are either in dire need of treatment for Kool-Aid addiction or a company trollbot here to tell us just how "good" we have it at FedEx.
     
  13. SuperHandler

    SuperHandler Member

    Fred Smith is my master. He programmed me at birth to be the ultimate package handler. With the powers invested in me, my birth place of Memphis flows through my body every day. You are futile and out dated. Master says those that complain end up in "shoot outs" at stations.
     
  14. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Hmmm. Sounds like you have been absorbed by The Borg...(Choose your deity) help you.
     
  15. SuperHandler

    SuperHandler Member

     

    Attached Files:

  16. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    You are one...with the Memphis Unimind (IQ of 50).
     
  17. EffOff

    EffOff Member

    You think you guys on the Delivery side have it bad? Those of us in the Office side are getting screwed majorly. Staffs are being reduced (not just from firing, but from attrition - people are leaving in droves), and the remaining employees are being forced to take up the slack. Shifts are being cut down to 4 people, who are expected to keep up and surpass the current levels of production - for the same lousy rate of pay, of course.

    Eat dick, Fred.
     
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  18. Route 66

    Route 66 Flacid Member

    I like succinctness, and that pretty much sums up my sentiments as well....nicely stated!
     
  19. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I totally agree. BZ to EffOff!!
     
  20. Goldilocks

    Goldilocks Well-Known Member

    Hell, i mean heil my chief. What will you do to protect your couriers from this rise maybe powered group Isis. Do you have a PLAN to protect your employees from threat?