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Watch the movie "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room" Reminded me of Fedex
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<blockquote data-quote="GROUNDIsAHugeSCAM" data-source="post: 1182288" data-attributes="member: 48213"><p>MFE, Thank you for your kind words. I enjoy bringing a smile to the faces of fellow victi......I mean employees of Fred. Just to add some credibility to my humor, I am indeed employed by FDX, above the courier position. I have been a courier as well a Ground driver. Many of my stories are false, many are embellished, and surprisingly, some are true. </p><p></p><p>Fat couriers are fat because they do expend lots of energy, but they also replace it with fatty foods. Working hard just makes fatties like me eat more, which is actually a blessing in disguise. At first I felt like you, bewildered with all the behemoth employees, but then I came up with my hypothesis: Fat people like being couriers because burning calories just lets them eat even more, which is what we live for.</p><p></p><p>I'll use a simple example for those who aren't following me. I'll use a fake name as not to offend anyone.</p><p></p><p>Let's say a courier named "VanNewMexican" lives in a trailer and eats 4,000 calories a day consisting of burritos, guacomole, and those little chips & salsa lunchables. Let's assume VanNewMexican (VNM from here on) has an office job. He burns no calories at work. Now, let's shale things up a bit. VNM decides one day to waddle into the bosses office and demand a raise and a longer lunch hour, or he quits. The boss stands firm and VNM quits and finds work as a courier. He hates it at first because fat people don't like activity, but then he starts losing weight. He burns approximately 500 calories per shift. My simple math indicates that now he can eat 4,500 calories per day and still maintain his sexy figure. The same figure he had pre-FedEx. This is why fatties like to be couriers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GROUNDIsAHugeSCAM, post: 1182288, member: 48213"] MFE, Thank you for your kind words. I enjoy bringing a smile to the faces of fellow victi......I mean employees of Fred. Just to add some credibility to my humor, I am indeed employed by FDX, above the courier position. I have been a courier as well a Ground driver. Many of my stories are false, many are embellished, and surprisingly, some are true. Fat couriers are fat because they do expend lots of energy, but they also replace it with fatty foods. Working hard just makes fatties like me eat more, which is actually a blessing in disguise. At first I felt like you, bewildered with all the behemoth employees, but then I came up with my hypothesis: Fat people like being couriers because burning calories just lets them eat even more, which is what we live for. I'll use a simple example for those who aren't following me. I'll use a fake name as not to offend anyone. Let's say a courier named "VanNewMexican" lives in a trailer and eats 4,000 calories a day consisting of burritos, guacomole, and those little chips & salsa lunchables. Let's assume VanNewMexican (VNM from here on) has an office job. He burns no calories at work. Now, let's shale things up a bit. VNM decides one day to waddle into the bosses office and demand a raise and a longer lunch hour, or he quits. The boss stands firm and VNM quits and finds work as a courier. He hates it at first because fat people don't like activity, but then he starts losing weight. He burns approximately 500 calories per shift. My simple math indicates that now he can eat 4,500 calories per day and still maintain his sexy figure. The same figure he had pre-FedEx. This is why fatties like to be couriers. [/QUOTE]
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Watch the movie "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room" Reminded me of Fedex
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