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Brown Cafe UPS Forum
Life After Brown
Divorce benefits
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<blockquote data-quote="DriverNerd" data-source="post: 3146487" data-attributes="member: 61439"><p>Don't get divorced right now. Yeah, you're in pain and want to move on...I get it. But you're going to go your separate ways either way, so why bother getting divorced right away. Just separate, and live lives based on how you will when you would be divorced. As long as you are still technically married she still qualifies for your benefits. Where I am from, the money in the accounts is split up based on the values at the time of separation, not the actual divorce date. Move out, start your lives separately and see how things go. Yeah, it will be painful for a while. This way she can get back on her feet financially. You're going to pay her child support (maybe spousal too) anyway. It is better for the man in this situation to get divorced as soon as possible for the sake of his wallet, but if you're looking to transition better and make it easier on everyone (read: kids) then go slow. Don't get divorced until after she has obtained a full time job (or part time depending on your childcare/financial needs) with benefits.</p><p></p><p>FWIW, we used a mediator and as long as you both are willing to be fair and put your kids first (hard for a lot of people to do with such emotions raging), it is by far cheaper and better for everyone involved.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DriverNerd, post: 3146487, member: 61439"] Don't get divorced right now. Yeah, you're in pain and want to move on...I get it. But you're going to go your separate ways either way, so why bother getting divorced right away. Just separate, and live lives based on how you will when you would be divorced. As long as you are still technically married she still qualifies for your benefits. Where I am from, the money in the accounts is split up based on the values at the time of separation, not the actual divorce date. Move out, start your lives separately and see how things go. Yeah, it will be painful for a while. This way she can get back on her feet financially. You're going to pay her child support (maybe spousal too) anyway. It is better for the man in this situation to get divorced as soon as possible for the sake of his wallet, but if you're looking to transition better and make it easier on everyone (read: kids) then go slow. Don't get divorced until after she has obtained a full time job (or part time depending on your childcare/financial needs) with benefits. FWIW, we used a mediator and as long as you both are willing to be fair and put your kids first (hard for a lot of people to do with such emotions raging), it is by far cheaper and better for everyone involved. [/QUOTE]
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