So I screwed up. Big time. I cheated on my wife with a woman I met on my route. My wife gave up her career to stay home with the kids when I got full time, shortly before our youngest was born. It's been 3 and a half years since she worked and due to the nature of her work she would need a lot of retraining. She tried for over 6 months to make it work but she said she just can't do it anymore. I feel like I ruined everything for her and the kids. I know I can keep the kids on my insurance but one of the biggest things I worry about is making sure she is still going to have insurance too. She also made sure we were putting as much money into my 401ks as possible and gave up a lot of luxuriesshe enjoyed, she never gets her nails done, did all of our haircuts, never cared about gifts or going out, and was just happy to live simple, so that we could have a healthy retirement fund. Is it possible for me to give her part of the retirement savings or my pension? Can I keep her on the insurance? I just want to do right by her in this divorce. We live in Massachusetts if that makes a difference.
Divorce benefits
- Thread starter ss290
- Start date
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
She will get half of your 401k balance as of the date of separation.
The kids will remain on your insurance but she will not.
Mass law will dictate how much support and/or alimony you will end up paying.
She will get the house.
Your kids will hate you.
Hope she was worth it.
The kids will remain on your insurance but she will not.
Mass law will dictate how much support and/or alimony you will end up paying.
She will get the house.
Your kids will hate you.
Hope she was worth it.
Result of recent divorce here in Mass (SHE wanted divorce):
She got the house.
She got the entire 401k, but none of the pension.
Kids were old enough to decide where they went. One went with dad, one with Mom.
DESTROYED lives, I don't understand how someone could do this to their family.
She got the house.
She got the entire 401k, but none of the pension.
Kids were old enough to decide where they went. One went with dad, one with Mom.
DESTROYED lives, I don't understand how someone could do this to their family.
burrheadd
KING Of GIFS
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
Lol. Why do people still get involved in this?
They let their little head do their thinking for them.
dookie stain
Cornfed whiteboy
Never understood why a woman who doesn't work gets the 401k...the house...custody of the kids...and half of everything else...must be that white male privilege everyone talks about.
Ms.PacMan
Well-Known Member
It sounds like you'd never cheat again and love your wife. You should try harder to fix your marriage. Maybe try a separation and date your wife again (do not sleep with anyone else if you separate!)
My ex husband cheated on me and I needed to hear that he would never, ever, do that again, that he was sorry (a lot, not just once) and I needed to start over with him. He thought we could just pick up where we were at after I forgave him. It's just not that easy. She might even be testing you to see if you'll leave or if you're in for the long haul.
My ex husband cheated on me and I needed to hear that he would never, ever, do that again, that he was sorry (a lot, not just once) and I needed to start over with him. He thought we could just pick up where we were at after I forgave him. It's just not that easy. She might even be testing you to see if you'll leave or if you're in for the long haul.
Ms.PacMan
Well-Known Member
Let's be real - she gets a mortgage and half the equity from the house is given to the husband. The assets are divided usually 50/50.
If a husband and wife decide that she was going to stay home then he should support her after a divorce until she gets herself up to speed. I don't want tax dollars supporting her and the kids.
sailfish
Master of Karate and Friendship for Everyone
Because vagina.
Just because she didn't have a paying job doesn't mean she deserves to be poor.
Maybe one day you will get married and understand
DumbTruckDriver
Allergic to cardboard.
She's been doing multiple jobs unpaid for years. Why would she get nothing in the divorce?
dookie stain
Cornfed whiteboy
My friends wife cheated on him...she got EVERYTHING...including custody of the child...he also has to pay her $2,700 a month....how on earth is that fair?
It's not always fair. Unfortunately that's how life goes sometimes. My point was just because your wife did not get a W-2 at the end of the year doesn't mean she didn't earn anything.
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
It’s not—she had a better lawyer.
dookie stain
Cornfed whiteboy
I'm not saying she deserves nothing....being a mother and a wife is more than a full time job I understand that...but HALF of the 401k seems extreme..I guess depending on the amount...I could understand an amount of money to get her by until she can get a job
dookie stain
Cornfed whiteboy
No...that's just california....lawyer doesn't matter
Tom MacDonald
Max E. Pads
This thread is way out of my league.
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
The amount is irrelevant.
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
Too many big words?
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