Short Story

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by moreluck, Aug 12, 2014.

  1. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    The smartest joke I ever heard was so clever, I didn't get it. It had to be explained to me seven times before I sort of got it. By the eighth explanation, I'd wised up enough to say, "Oh, I get it, just to shut them up. Here it is:

    "Counting in binary is easy as 01, 10, 11." I'm still not sure I get it, but I tell it all the time just so I sound smart.

    (here's the kind of joke I like)
    What did 0 say to 8 " Nice belt.

    Andy Simmons in Reader's Digest
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  2. Gumby

    Gumby *

    O and 1, computer language
  3. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    To Tonight

    Sometimes I tend to think about what I don't have: a house on the ocean, a big career I could use to impress people at my high school reunion. Then I hear his car in the driveway. I think we'll grill tonight. Later we'll watch some reruns of sitcoms from a long time ago that remind me of when we were young. He'll doze off and it'll be time for the day to end. We'll say goodnight to the pets. We're all still here, a miracle. When I'm very old, I will wish for a day like this.

    Kathy Cornell Hddam CT.(Reader's Digest)
  4. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    Why do women like 77 more than 69?............they get 8 more.

    Can I say that here?
  5. I thank God for every happy day I have. I thank God for every bad day I have. I also thank him for the ones in the middle. I'm thankful that I believe so I can be thankful and know to thank someone.
  6. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    You just did.
  7. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    You really are the resident know it all.
  8. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    I Thought She Forgot.....

    Three times in my life I saw my father cry. The first was when his mother died. I was seven. The second was at the airport when my brother departed for Vietnam. The third was in his 80s. My mother, in late stage Alzheimers, resided in a nursing home. He had visited her daily for 10 years, except for 3 months when he broke his foot. Finally he could walk again.

    "I thought mother forgot me, " he said, "but when she smiled and said, 'I love you.' " Then my father sobbed.

    ~Nancy Abeshaus~
    Wakefield, R.I.
  9. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    The Train


    At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life. Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

    The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

    I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life. Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey.
    Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train.
  10. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

  11. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Pennies For Candles........

    When I was a child, during the Great Depression, my mother sent me to the store to buy candles because our electricity had been turned off.

    I gave the clerk in the store my pennies for the candles, and he sarcastically said, "Didn't pay the electric bill ?"

    I held my head up high and replied, "Of course we did, but we want to have dinner by candlelight tonight."

    I still laugh when I recall our 'candlelight' dinner and the look on the clerk's face after my retort. We didn't have much money, but we had pride.

    Jean Smidt, West Milford, N.J.
  12. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    A man stormed into a Florida electronics store wearing a ski mask and ordered an employee to lie on the floor.

    When she ran, he drew his Taser, only to tase himself.

    He then left empty-handed. Hours later, he returned start his shift.
  13. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Helplessness is defined by slipping a dollar into the office vending machine, only to watch your Twix
    get stuck on the coils.
    That's what happened to an Iowa man. But, unlike the rest of us, he had a forklift at his disposal, which
    he used to jostle the machine until it freed his booty. He was fired the next day.
    -The Des Moines Register-
  14. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Coming from a destitute family, my brother and I were used to having very slim Christmases. We expected nothing more one Christmas morning, as we scooped wrapping paper from the floor.

    "Grab the blanket hanging over there and wrap it around your mother when she comes in here and tell her how much you love her," my father whispered deviously.

    Grabbing the blanket and pouncing on our mother, we noticed two upright guitars that the blanket had been draped across.

    Those guitars became the sole form of expression all throughout our growing-up years - and up to this day.

    (Brianna Blanchard, Sprigfield Mass.)
  15. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Rude awakening this morning(3:00 am.) Dog was shaking all over and was like a bobble-head. I let her out back and she did her business, but almost fell over. I thought she was having a stroke.

    We drove to Mission Viejo Animal is open all night. She was acting more normal by the time we got there.
    It was like a vertigo incident. They gave us some anti-nausea pills and we came home with her.

    I did not think I would be coming home with her.....the last 2 visits we'd made to the 24 hr place was to have our schnauzers put down.
    Mocha is 11.
  16. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Almost a Loss.......

    Hubby got new cleats for his golf shoes and put them on ....he left the pair of golf shoes on the bumper of the Tahoe. He figured he'd see them when he got in the car to leave.

    He brought up the trash can and wheeled it in front of the car to the side of the house. He walked back the same way and started the car to go to a Lowe's up in Aliso Viejo to check on something our Lowes didn't have.

    He drove 20 miles.....freeway, toll road and neighborhood streets. When he was leaving the Lowe's store, some lady kept beeping her horn and waving, so he stopped. She said, there's a shoe on your bumper. He thanked her and looked and there was only one shoe on the bumper. He was surprised that anything remained on the bumper and was saddened that he lost a golf shoe....especially since he'd just put new cleats on it.

    He decided to trace his path back home. In our neighborhood, he spotted the golf shoe sitting up on a curb. Someone had obviously placed it there figuring the owner would be back once they realized it was gone.

    So, he still has his pair of golf shoes with new cleats on them......they just wanted to go for a ride.

  17. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member


    Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

    I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

    As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

    The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

    The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

    Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”

    Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”

    The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
  18. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Best Homecoming

    "My best homecoming was this last one. I came home at 4:00 in the morning and got dropped off at my house.
    At the door was my wife, Kim and she handed me our new baby. Vivian was seven months old, and I held her for the first time.
    Then, after the three of us got into bed, my wife went to scoop up a sleeping Sophia, our two year old, and placed her next to me.
    Kim and I were whispering, and Sophia woke up and yelled, 'Daddy! You came back !!'
    I had my whole family there. It was the best."
    Maj. Dave Fleming (Marine)
  19. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Memorable Moments:

    The Ohio blizzard of '51 had people burning pianos in thir homes to keep from freezing. (Jim Sterllng) in Reader's Digest

    The blizzard of '67 in Gary, Indiana. I remember walking on top of the snow and putting my mitten-covered hands on top of our garage. (Buddy Kitties)
  20. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    In July, 1915, Henry and his eight-year-old daughter, Pearl, were excited for the company outing the next day.

    That evening, Henry had a violent argument with his landlord, ending with the landlord spitting on a painting of the Virgin Mary. Henry was so upset, he fell ill and cancelled their trip.

    He and Pearl missed the cruise on the S.S. Eastland, which sank with over 800 people on board - but not my future grandfather and mother.

    Thanks to that miracle argument 100 years ago, 22 descendants are alive today.

    ~Vernon Magnesen~ (Elmhurst, Illinois)