Old Man Jingles
Rat out of a cage
Man Remembers It Summer Solstice After Noticing Group Of Pagans
ing In Ring Of Fire
TULSA, OK—Saying he had almost completely forgotten the longest day of the year was approaching, local resident Phil Garrison suddenly remembered it was the summer solstice Friday after noticing a group of pagans
ing in a ring of fire while walking to work. “Honestly, I hadn’t even thought about the midsummer until I smelled the scent of rendered goat fat in the air and saw a bunch of worshippers writhing around a bonfire in a feast of flesh,” said Garrison, ...
At press time, a naked Garrison was spotted throwing his clothes into the flames and approaching the pagans to offer them some of his semen for the upcoming fertility rites.

TULSA, OK—Saying he had almost completely forgotten the longest day of the year was approaching, local resident Phil Garrison suddenly remembered it was the summer solstice Friday after noticing a group of pagans

At press time, a naked Garrison was spotted throwing his clothes into the flames and approaching the pagans to offer them some of his semen for the upcoming fertility rites.
