MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Dear Team Members,
Bravo Zulu and Ground is Good!! I've been taking some time off since the operation at the Mayo Clinic on my hands. You see, I have a tiny little weenis, so the good doctors transplanted one of my fingers to you know where, so now I've at least got something down there holding me down! Well, one of the side effects was also a cure for my Happy Hands!! Praise Jesus, a twofer for your Uncle Mattie!
You know, I've been hearing some troubling news about bad attitudes among some employees!! It's hard to believe that everyone isn't happy about industry-leading benefits, pay, and everything else we give you!! I look at what UPS gets, and what we give you, and it just makes me fill my pants with joy...because we are SO damn good to you!! And NO union dues!
Anyway, to help everyone at FedEx be happy, I've invented the BBQ Squad. Whenever we get reports of bad attitudes, a specially-trained staff of managers climb aboard Happy Hands 1, loaded down with all the cheap meat, soda, and chips that my Golden Gulfstream can carry!!!Sometimes, if you're really lucky, I come too!! They're on-call 24/7/365 and ready to come to you!
When they land, they head straight for your station and then get those new flat screens blasting with some of MT Hammer's Memphis funk and fun!! Golden parachute pants that match my jet, silver platform shoes with goldfish swimming inside the heels, and ME, ME, ME!! How could anyone be unhappy with that?
You get one hotdog, one can of soda, and one bag of chips, and if you're lucky you might win the contest for a brand-new uniform shirt and a "FedEx Cares" stuffed panda!
The BBQ Squad...coming at YOU!!
Too Cool4U,
MTHammer Matt
Bravo Zulu and Ground is Good!! I've been taking some time off since the operation at the Mayo Clinic on my hands. You see, I have a tiny little weenis, so the good doctors transplanted one of my fingers to you know where, so now I've at least got something down there holding me down! Well, one of the side effects was also a cure for my Happy Hands!! Praise Jesus, a twofer for your Uncle Mattie!
You know, I've been hearing some troubling news about bad attitudes among some employees!! It's hard to believe that everyone isn't happy about industry-leading benefits, pay, and everything else we give you!! I look at what UPS gets, and what we give you, and it just makes me fill my pants with joy...because we are SO damn good to you!! And NO union dues!
Anyway, to help everyone at FedEx be happy, I've invented the BBQ Squad. Whenever we get reports of bad attitudes, a specially-trained staff of managers climb aboard Happy Hands 1, loaded down with all the cheap meat, soda, and chips that my Golden Gulfstream can carry!!!Sometimes, if you're really lucky, I come too!! They're on-call 24/7/365 and ready to come to you!
When they land, they head straight for your station and then get those new flat screens blasting with some of MT Hammer's Memphis funk and fun!! Golden parachute pants that match my jet, silver platform shoes with goldfish swimming inside the heels, and ME, ME, ME!! How could anyone be unhappy with that?
You get one hotdog, one can of soda, and one bag of chips, and if you're lucky you might win the contest for a brand-new uniform shirt and a "FedEx Cares" stuffed panda!
The BBQ Squad...coming at YOU!!
Too Cool4U,
MTHammer Matt
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