Fred Hires Kim Jong Un As VP of Employee Relations

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Fred Smith announced today that effective immediately, Kim Jong Un will be assuming a new position in Memphis as Vice-President of Employee Relations. Mr. Smith spoke highly of Un, saying "he liked the cut of Un's jib", and that "Un understands how to motivate people...with threats and intimidation".

    Even though Un is still in North Korea, he has already begun his new position, and immediately declared that every FedEx employee will now be paid in potatoes and grain instead of money, and that anyone who professes support for a unionization will be targeted for destruction by drone or nuclear strike.

    Un is expected to move to the Memphis area within the month. As is standard FedEx practice, he will be issued a Gulfstream G650 Corporate Jet and will be paid $50M per year.
     
  2. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    That would explain the forum outage yesterday.

    I do like potatos though.....
     
  3. DOWNTRODDEN IN TEXAS

    DOWNTRODDEN IN TEXAS Active Member

    I hear they eat cigarette tobacco for protein.
     
  4. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member

    If he takes a particular interest in you, you will be sent to camp.
     
  5. Route 66

    Route 66 Flacid Member

    As I understand it, Un will just be living in Memphis during the week, and commuting back and forth to his home in N. Korea on the corporate Gulfstream on weekends.
     
  6. MAKAVELI

    MAKAVELI Well-Known Member

    On a serious note, someone needs take out that little fat tyrant like we did Bin Laden.
     
  7. STFXG

    STFXG Well-Known Member

    Will dennis rodman be the new Executive Vice President, Market Development and Corporate Communications?
     
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Oh, just like MT3.
     
  9. DOWNTRODDEN IN TEXAS

    DOWNTRODDEN IN TEXAS Active Member

    Only difference, KJU's Gulfstream will come with complimentary USAF refueling, the "Sheikh's Gold Package" and a PS4.
     
  10. overflowed

    overflowed Well-Known Member

    I watched a documentary where they were eating grass and bark. It was Thanksgiving Day if someone had enough cunning or strength to catch a rat.
     
  11. DS

    DS Fenderbender

  12. overflowed

    overflowed Well-Known Member

  13. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

  14. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Craziest sex scene ever, LOL!
     
  15. thedownhillEXPRESS

    thedownhillEXPRESS Well-Known Member

    Bump

    Just because I love the title of this one