Letter From Target

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by fethrs, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. fethrs

    fethrs Well-Known Member

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - She loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

    Dear Mrs.Donahue,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Donahue, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away? This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the a uto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least:

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

    A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above.
    Lasted edited by : Mar 15, 2009
  2. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    Very funny story--why did you choose to spoil it with your credit score offer at the end? Do you realize that the credit report is only free with enrollment in a credit monitoring service and that, to be truly free, you have to cancel within the first 30 days to avoid being charged the monthly fee, which is usually $11.95/month? The only free credit report is the one that is provided by the government at annualcreditreport.com and that does not include your credit score.

    I notice that you like to pass along financial advice every now and then (high yield checking, coupons, credit scores) and would like to thank you for doing so as we can all benefit from this advice but please refrain from including that advice in posts which have nothing to do with that advice. If you feel that we should learn more about credit reports than start a thread on the subject. This will allow those of us who are interested in learning more about credit reports to click on that thread and those who aren't to pass.
  3. over9five

    over9five Senior Member Staff Member

    Yeah..... what Upstate said!
  4. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Retirees do tend to get bored & rambunctious from time to time.
    I am in my Albertson's Grocery Store daily and at the Easter display there are some huge stuffed Easter bunnies, like $99 ones. I'm always taking them down from the shelf and sitting them at a table & chair display, like they are having dinner. I even get them some plastic eggs for the plate in front of them.
    They are always back on the shelf the next day. Looks like I'm responsible for someone's job security!:wink2:
  5. tonyexpress

    tonyexpress Whac-A-Troll Patrol Staff Member


    That was really funny!! :rofl:
  6. fethrs

    fethrs Well-Known Member

    I think you have mistaken me for mspacman, I'm pretty sure she posted those financial adivice threads, I know I didn't. It was still a funny story though, don't you think?
  7. fethrs

    fethrs Well-Known Member

    I was wondering who was doing that!:surprised: I think that's funny and creative, but I bet it's annoying to the folks who have to put it all back.
  8. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    Annoying ?? Then my job there is done !!:happy2:
  9. fethrs

    fethrs Well-Known Member

    No no no not at all! What about all the folks who like the way the bunnies are, I know I would. Don't stop now, you're right, you are job security for someone:happy2:
  10. over9five

    over9five Senior Member Staff Member

    More, any way you could sneak some empty beer bottles in and put them on the bunnies table?
  11. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    That's a great idea......cruise through the liquor dept. Grab a huge bottle of Grey Goose and set those bunnies up with some glasses for a pretend party.:wink2: