Unmarried couples sharing expenses----on topic

Should unmarried couples have a written agreement in place when paying off student loan debt?


  • Total voters
    18
W

What The Hawk?

Guest
My son lives in Iowa and is currently in a long distance relationship with a woman who lives four houses away from my daughter and son in law in New York; in fact, she (my daughter) was the one who got them together. He has grown tired of living so far away and has been applying for jobs closer to home. Their plan is to live together and contribute to the household expenses, including the mortgage, based on their percentage of income (she makes more than he does), while each maintaining a separate checking account for their personal use.

I became concerned when he said that they plan on helping each other pay off their student loan debt. His is about $55K and from what he told me hers is much higher. He said that they will start tackling his and then focus on hers once his is paid off. When I suggested that they should consider drafting some sort of legal agreement in regard to this he scoffed at the idea, saying that their relationship was strong enough that it wouldn't be an issue.

My concern is the obvious-----suppose they pay off most if not all of his loans and for some reason unrelated to this the relationship ends----would it be fair to her to have invested all of this money in their future and have nothing to show for it? What if they decided to start with hers first-----would it be fair to him?

I sincerely hope that he takes my advice and sits down with her for a frank conversation on the topic. She is a college educated woman who works in HR at a large regional hospital in Albany (NY) and he has his MBA and works for an aerospace company so it's not as though the two of them are going in to this unaware of the possible consequences.

I just don't want to see either or both of them hurt, financially or otherwise, if this thing goes south.
No. He should not feel obligated to help her with debt she accumulated and she shouldn't help him either. If they do help each other it should be "off the record" to prevent her from suing him in case the relationship does ends. Because if he were to sign an agreement and the relationship ended he would be stuck with his debt AND her debt. They have separate spending accounts, they need to keep these debts separate. The only debts they need to share and pay off together are ones they accumulate together.
 

cosmo1

Perhaps.
Staff member
No. He should not feel obligated to help her with debt she accumulated and she shouldn't help him either. If they do help each other it should be "off the record" to prevent her from suing him in case the relationship does ends. Because if he were to sign an agreement and the relationship ended he would be stuck with his debt AND her debt. They have separate spending accounts, they need to keep these debts separate. The only debts they need to share and pay off together are ones they accumulate together.

Aren't you still living at home?
 

Box Ox

Well-Known Member
My son lives in Iowa and is currently in a long distance relationship with a woman who lives four houses away from my daughter and son in law in New York

When I suggested that they should consider drafting some sort of legal agreement in regard to this he scoffed at the idea, saying that their relationship was strong enough that it wouldn't be an issue.

They should probably only decide if their relationship is strong enough after they’ve tried living within close proximity of one another for a while.
 

OrioN

double tap o da horn dooshbag
Joking aside, pnw has a valid point, eventhough he lives in his parents' basement for the time being.

Basically a prenuptial. U don't need a lawyer. Just a notary to witness the signatures of both sides and another witness. My local bank as a notary for free. Something in the lines of having no extra obligations if the relationship falls apart.

Good looking out for your son.
 

ColdHarvest

Well-Known Member
The chief difference is that they are married and a court can split their bills/assets upon divorce. Unmarried couples have no such protections.


Ummm...no. Pre numps don't even protect men any more.

Here's the hard truth...Tell your son, do not marry, or even cohabitate.

Hit and quit. And make sure he double bags it, and saves every text, and phone call.

This is the reality of modern American and dealing with skirts.
 

cosmo1

Perhaps.
Staff member
Ummm...no. Pre numps don't even protect men any more.

Here's the hard truth...Tell your son, do not marry, or even cohabitate.

Hit and quit. And make sure he double bags it, and saves every text, and phone call.

This is the reality of modern American and dealing with skirts.

Uummmmm, upstate left the forum several months ago. He won't see (and even if he did) won't reply to your post.
 

burrheadd

KING Of GIFS
Ummm...no. Pre numps don't even protect men any more.

Here's the hard truth...Tell your son, do not marry, or even cohabitate.

Hit and quit. And make sure he double bags it, and saves every text, and phone call.

This is the reality of modern American and dealing with skirts.

Seriously,

Nancy doesn’t come around here much anymore
 
Top