1 apple, 2 melons, & some flaming chains

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by scooby0048, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    Roll up to this pretty nice resi with a sigreq from Apple. Rap on the door, no answer, start yellow tagging it. Just as I turn to go back to my truck, I hear the door swing open and a lady yelling, "I'm here I'm here!"
    I turn around to see this healthy, hot, soaking wet, brunette wearing what looked like a snuggie, whose steamy shower was clearly interrupted by yours truly knocking on her door. As I hand her the package and DIAD, the earth, moon, and sun all came into alignment at that exact moment.
    The robe falls to the ground and in all her wondrous glory... out pops the nicest, most robust, mouth watering melons I have seen in a very long time. The DIAD goes under her arm and with her free hand she bends down and picks up the robe and halfheartedly covers up.

    ME: Um, I can come back in a little bit when it's more convenient
    HER:That's OK, not the first time someone's seen my tits and it won't be the last. I'm getting more work done on my tattoo soon.
    (all semblance of professionalism went out the window at this point)
    ME: Its a nice tat!
    What happens next just blew my mind...
    She hands me the DIAD and package and proceeds to expose herself again to put the robe on the right way. She opens the robe for a third viewing and calmly says without missing a beat, "I am adding a shackle and some flames to this side" (as she's grabbing her left boob).

    Suffice to say, she signed, I left and the rest of my day was pretty fantastic even though I got the green light of death to take 44 stops off a new driver at 1845.
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  2. The Driver

    The Driver I drive.

    Shoulda said you'd make an after hours delivery to her sometime.
  3. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    You start posts like this with, Dear Penthouse.
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  4. Gumby

    Gumby *

    What was the tattoo of?
  5. Gumby

    Gumby *

    Dear diary, I had this wet dream again!
  6. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    Chains that wrapped around one boob over the shoulder and towards her back...
  7. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    No, it's like this..."Dear diary, I ravished my wife tonight like we were back in high school...she thinks I'm up to something..."
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  8. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    I almost asked her if I could see the finished ink but I figured one semi-inappropriate comment was enough for one day!
  9. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    Maybe she'll order a case for her new device.
  10. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    If I could only get that lucky twice!
  11. Gumby

    Gumby *

    What color,was her eyes?
  12. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    Really? Why not ask me an easier question like what color was the robe...Do you really think I saw her eye color!

    I want to say blue though...could be wrong, I was a little distracted and my observation skills were focused on the chains that bind!
  13. cooperjake

    cooperjake Member

    Ahhh the memories that come with being a single ups man....
    Had a bartender pull her tit out and sign for the pkg with her nipple..
    Lady came to door in a towel I was already kneeling down getting info on the cod looked up...and yes.........
    Had a customer insist I see her thong in the back room....and yes
    And arranging pkgs in the back of the truck so the lady is "comfortable"...
  14. bleedinbrown58

    bleedinbrown58 ahhh....the mouth breathers

    She had eyes? He doesn't even remember if she was bald...lol
  15. undies

    undies Active Member

    Next time try to see if she's open to a back door delivery.
  16. superballs63

    superballs63 Well-Known Troll Troll

    That could backfire, UpcrapUPSER had been having some trouble with a customer and backdoor deliveries.

    Or you could just shove it in the backdoor.....be sure to use a DR bag, though
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  17. She sounds real classy.
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  18. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    The best part about this story is that you got to see the boobies guilt-free.

    I like looking at boobies as much as the next guy, but not if it happens at the customers expense. If she is embarassed or her privacy is being violated in any way it takes all the fun out of it for me. In this case the customer chose to come to the door half dressed, you were polite and offered to return (nice move) and she freely chose of her own accord to just go ahead and give you the boobie shot in exchange for her package. I call that a win/ win!
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  19. Tired Driver

    Tired Driver Sisyphus had it easy.

    My questions are 1) Did carpet match the drapes?
    2) Rug or bare floor?
  20. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid