Captain Smith: "Iceberg Dead Ahead"

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Smith: "Aim straight for it, and give me more speed, or you're FIRED!!!".

Crewman: "Sorry Captain Smith, but all the stokers are on their split-shifts. You'll have to hit the iceberg at half-speed!". True fact. The captain of the Titanic was named Smith.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Uncle Fredly will pull his golden parachute and land in his getaway dinghy (actually a yacht...but he's rich) and make it to Aruba.

Before that, I think he'd order the crew into the boilers so they could sacrifice themselves as fuel for his mad quest. When the ship hits the iceberg and starts to go down, the Romneys and Kochs go first, then the women and children. Fred is already on his way to Aruba at that point. The rest of the employees get left to drown, which is, of course, their place.
 
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