Families

[UPSgf]

Hi guys! As a self proclaimed lurker on this site, I would just like to say how great it is to be able to read what goes on in the lives and minds of UPS employees. I have a question though, and this is mainly aimed at those of you with families. Wives, husbands, children. How do you do it? UPS has become a part of my life through my boyfriend who is a driver. It wasnt hard becoming adjusted to the incredible amount of work hours you all put in, but as time goes by and as relationships get deeper, and as addresses become the same (as they will do), I become more and more curious about the other half. Sure, there are friends who are also drivers, and they have girlfriends, but somehow they dont really seem the same, and as a general observation, the wives of drivers, never come out.
<O</O
How does working for UPS affect your at home lives? How are you best supported? How do you best show support for your families? What do you wish your families would do for you to show that they support your long hours?
<O</O
I know this is slightly off topic from worst stop conversations and talks about w-2s, but I am realizing that there is another half to UPS and it is the families. I am just trying to find out how everyone manages!

 

[browniehound]

I dont plan on having a family. Why would I want a kid? So I can watch him not grow up? So I can miss his baseball practices or her cheering competitions? So i can get home from work after her bedtime? God forbid if I ever wanted to coach pop warner. I chose this job and i'm content with it.

 

[Hangingon]

I have a family on the weekends. I leave home at 730 AM, get home after 10 PM most weekdays and was threatened with on the spot termination after I tried to come in early with an approved request 8 but 11 hours of work on the car. The requst 8 was so I could make it home in time for my son's birthday dinner.

It used to be that you could work out side deals with your supervisors to get early offs for doctors appointments or such, but in the present numbers climate if you have an anniversary or important function to attend with him, have him use a personal or call in. I'd say a big thing it took years for my wife to understand is my hatred for Christmas. I don't mind it on the actual day, but I really don't want to think about it nor do I want to work 60 hours during the week to spend my weekend driving around parking lots or waiting hours to buy presents. Oh, depending how good a driver you are, get ready to memorize the 5 seeing habits and having a running commentary when he's in the passenger seat. I used to train and got into that habit to the point my wife refuses to drive when we're in the car together.

 

[moreluck]

As a wife of ex-ups'er and mom of three (now grown) kids, I can tell you that if you plan on having children, plan on being a single mom M-Friday.

As much as he would've liked to go to school programs & functions, he wasnt available.

He retired in 2000 and circumstances happened where we had to have our granddaughters come and live with us for 2 years. They were 5 and 6 years old at the time. Grandpa took part in plenty of school programs and parent/teacher conferences. I think it was then, during those 2 years, that he realized what all he missed with his own kids.

We also moved with UPS.....our choice. It makes it harder with no extended family nearby......but, it also makes kids more independent when they have to go find friends in a new neighborhood. We always looked at it as an adventure when they were younger. Teenage years were not as easy.

I wouldn't trade a single minute of the life we've had as a UPS family. If it's good, it's very good. If it's bad, it's a learning experience......which can be said of anything in life.

We've made some good friends over the years too....some friendships over 30 years old now.

I always had a job too. Even though I didn't focus on a career as such, I've had many interesting jobs, real estate agent, answering svc., Telephone Co., etc. I managed to get hours that coincided with the kid's school hours, so I was always home for them. The jobs were actually my "get away" time.

I don't know if this helps you at all....hope it does.

 

[outta hours]

Do not believe all the negative comments in here Upsgf. I have coached my son in football,baseball,basketball,soccer. I have never missed game or practice because of UPS. And yes I am a driver. I have made all of his school plays, concerts, etc. He is in jr. high now so my coaching is finished. But I still go to all his games. I cannot imagine missing out on all of these things. If you are leaving at 7:30 am and getting back home at 10:00 pm. I think I would try to find some other tpye of work. Or reconsider the route your are doing or maybe your methods. The memories will be there long after the money earned has been spent. UPS has been great for me and my family. The pay and benefits have enabled us to have a very comfortable standard of living. Is it always easy to make it to all these events? No, it does take some hard work. But I say it's well worth. And so do my wife and son. In 21 years at UPS I have never mentioned a seeing habit or saftey tip to my wife. Leave that junk at work. This job can make you crazy if you let it. DON"T and it won't.

 

[reydluap]

I have been employed by UPS for close to 29 years, 5 years as a pm part timer and 24 years as a delivery driver. My lovely wife an I have four children and we "made" raising children work. I missed a few things that the kids were involved in, but not alot of them. I was able to co-coach the girls softball team and the boys little league with my wife. Granted, I was at most every event in "browns", but I was there. I've been to more music programs, pizza parties, and even funerals in "browns".

A few years ago, UPS let us use our spouses as "helpers" during "peak". So,I asked my wife to come with me and see what I do, meet the people that I talk to her about and let her put a face to the stories. IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID! She now knows what I go through and felt the pain in her joints when she got off her shift. She truely understands now what it took to do my half of being a parent.

I used to hear that I had no time for us, and she would want to take a walk after I would get off work. I'd always say NO, I'm to tired. We just changed the way we lived. Instead of always trying to fix the inevitable (a.k.a. working late) , we'd just get up a 5:00am and do our quality time then! I'd have MY time with the family then, NO TV or kids on the phone, just family time. I was in bed by 9pm but UPS did not get the best of me from the start.

UPS life is tough and demanding of our time. But we get paid well and have great benifits that have helped me raise my family. Only each and every one of us can detemine how OUR time is used.

As for Christmas, I to just hated the holidays. So we just had OUR Christmas in November, and still do that to this day. My kids live all over the USA and don't have to fight the airlines with holiday travel. Once again, this is MY time, not anyone elses. So, working long hours in December, WHO CARES, I'm just delivering joy to my customers in delivering Christmas presents from Grandma.

 

[Hangingon]

Outta hours, I used to be able to do all that too. I'm talking about the present state of things at UPS. When my son was younger I was for all intents the primary care giver since my wife traveled alot for work. I was always off by 430, my supes understood that I was willing to work through my lunch and finish a 10 hour planned day, but only if I could be assured of not going back out if my wife was out of town. Those days are over here. My planned day is 230 stops, and if I do happen to get done early there are several routes in my loop that always need help. Very few of our drivers are able to get out before 7pm and the office staff has standing orders to report any driver who sneaks in and punches out w/o reporting on his diad that he is done.

Maybe it is only our building and mgm't team that have taken this stance, but at least the one good thing is weekends were always mine.

 

[outta hours]

Hanginon> I guess the difference between us is our management. Our office never sends anyone back out to help. Those problems need to be fixed in the am. Pm. is not the time for dispatching. 230 stops seems like an awful lot. If you are working so many hours have you tried file on it to get your day down? That is the sad thing, we all work for the same company. Yet it varies so much from town to town or state to state, how we are treated and how many different policies there are. It's like none of us here even work for the same company. I'm sure that is the way UPS likes it. They get away with what they can, where they can.

 

[over9five]

"Pm. is not the time for dispatching."

Wow, that sounds so logical. I'm sure someone must have said that when they were developing PAS.
Unfortunately.......

UPSgf, if your bf is young in service, have him quit now and get a normal job where he'll be home by 5 like normal people.

If I knew then what I know now....

I might as well have been divorced. I really only saw my kids on the weekend. I have never made an after school activity, having rarely punched out before 7 in over 15 years.

If you love money, you'll love your hubby for working at UPS.

If you love your hubby more than the money, well..... you'll be lonely a lot.

Anyhow, good luck whichever way it goes!

 

[DS]

Theres a lot of good advice in this thread UPS gf.
Basically, the long hours are usually part of the job.
But I`m sure you and you and he can carve a nice life
out of it.

 

[Ms Spoken]

UPSgf,

There are a few small things you can do to help your partner cope with life @ UPS. Before our kids my husband picked up extra hours or worked out in his shop till I got home. My husband makes our lunch every AM while I get the kids ready for school since I dont get much time with them at night. There has been many many nights the kids are in bed and I'm sure there will be numerous more to come. We have learned to adapt to my late hours and he is the Mr. Mom/Dad through the week. If he knows I'm having a bad day I can almost guarantee there will a short note from him in my luch box the next day. Everyone loves a surprise no matter what it is. I remember coming home late one night and there on the kitchen table was a picture my boys had colored for me to put in my work truck. That picture is still taped in my truck and it's at least two years old and needs to be taken down but, that is what keeps me going on those hard days. We work very hard at keep our marriage together and trust is everything.
He gives me a call almost everyday @ 4pm just like clock work just to see how my day is going and we only spend a few seconds on the line but, I know he cares.
Since I dont see my kids much through the week he will bring them up to my area for dinner once a month. Now on weekends I spend alot of my time in the kitchen cooking that way I have dinner planned for most of the week and he doesnt have to worry about it. If I see that I'm going to be home before the kids go to bed I will call and let him know that I will cover bath time since my boys are still young.
I'm sure alot of men on here are thinking that my hubby must be meek but, that he is not. His career is just as demanding as mine is and very dangerous and he does not wear a tie to go to work. So there are days that he just needs time to himself and if I hear that in his voice I will do my best to get in early to give him a break.
Good luck UPS gf and remember the small things do make a difference.

 

[opie]

I guess it may depend where he works. I work the P/T twilight sort, and many times when I arrive to work, I see some drivers going home. I've seen drivers going home as early as 4:30PM. Though from my observations, it seems that most drivers get out around 6PM, with some maybe working to 7PM. Drivers can make a good living, as I see some driving some high-end cars.

 

[scratch]

Yes this job can cause strain on relationships because of the long hours. I leave my house before 7A.M. and get home at 7:30 if lucky. The money has been good, it made it possible for my wife to stay home and raise our two boys, she did a much better job than paying someone else to do it. I used to be a Scout Leader in their Troop, but get home too late to do that anymore during the week. Events like ballgames, PTA Meetings, school plays, Church events, just aren't practicable Monday through Friday. I try to make it up on weekends though, I've learned the meaning of "quality time". I am active with them, I don't waste time staring at the TV or go out partying. Tonight I just got home from my youngest son's Eagle Scout Ceremony, my oldest made it there too(Proud Dad!). Your boyfriend will be worn out a lot, just be patient with him and try to understand that he has a stressful job that most people could never do. Good Luck!

 

[Fredly000]

We have drivers out consistantly till 8pm,
a small minority of drivers are done at 6pm.

Many go back out to deliver additional work.
and Many are asked to take random packages
to random areas, sometimes wasting hours
to deliver single packages 30miles away.

But hey work as directed. and collect overtime.

Friday was the first time ever I was done at 5pm
with all my pickups and deliveries. But I picked up
a few more stops from another driver, and took
my lunch LOL

 

[over9five]

"That picture is still taped in my truck"

We used to do that. Then Big Brown told us no more personal pics can be hung in the truck. Worse than that, they tore down and threw out all personal stuff one night BEFORE they told us.

Thats the kind of people your bf will be working for...

 

[Ms Spoken]

"That picture is still taped in my truck"

We used to do that. Then Big Brown told us no more personal pics can be hung in the truck. Worse than that, they tore down and threw out all personal stuff one night BEFORE they told us.

Thats the kind of people your bf will be working for...

I'm sure after posting that I have that picture in my car it will be taken done by UPS but, I will have a new one back up in a matter of days. They can try to make my life a living **** but, they cant break me. I dont try to hide on this board they know who I am and so be it. What I do on my own time is exactly MY TIME.

 

[Fredly000]

They don't even clean the trucks exterior
well enough, They don't clean them out.
So I doubt they ever see the inside of the cab

 

[wo88upsman]

Must be the center that you work in. I have been delivering for 20 years and can count on one hand the time that I have missed my kids doing anything from kindergarden to graduating from high school. We have a 9 o'clock start time and I am in and done by 5:45 98% of the time. Very rarely am I even asked to go back out and help. Must just be lucky.

 

[sendagain]

If a driver has a difficult route that keeps him out at night, he can eventually bid on something easier. The job has always been hard, and overtime was continually a part of it; nobody was fooled by suddenly working long hours, and you can always quit. Along with those hours comes the money that other jobs aren't going to bring, not to mention the great medical insurance and vacation time. I retired at 53 with a pension for life; for most this is a thing of the past. As a driver, I never took the job home with me at night, and always had the weekends off. December was rough, but it's much better now.

 

[bigdave987]

Hello, this is my first post although I have been lurking for a while.

I have been a package car driver for almost 30 years. When my kids were young there were days where I would run my lunch and hustle all day to make a special event. However, there was never any possibility of coaching or any other commitment that required a regular early time. There were never any guarantees that I would get in on time so if the event was very special I used one of my precious optionals to guarantee the day off or in the case of graduations, I planned my vacation week for the same time. My wife worked part-time and she was the one who went to every function/game/meeting, doctor's appt, stayed home during the illnesses, you name it. There were many stressful times, particularly when the kids were babies, but we did always have the weekends.

Now, it is just about impossible to get in early for an event and luckily the kids are out of school. UPS has changed and not for the better where I work. It started when Jim Casey died, followed by the stock going public. Service no longer matters so we should shorten our name to United Parcel.

I tell everyone to get out while they can.

Don't get me wrong. The benefits are great right now, but I don't see them continuing after the next contract. Money will dictate the future and I forsee a cut in health and retirement benefits.

Luckily, I have 14 more working weeks to go. Good luck to you all. Each person needs to decide what is right for his/her situation and go from there.

Bigdave