MrFedEx
Engorged Member
Effective immediately, the FedEx Board of Employees is terminating the positions of Frederick W. Smith, Matthew Thornton, and Dave Bronczek for Gross Leadership Failure. As responsible stewards of the company we feel it is necessary to make this painful decision and allow these individuals to pursue other interests. Despite repeated opportunities to do the right thing, Mr. Smith, Mr. Thornton, and Mr. Bronczek have continued to make inane decisions that have jeopardized the profitability of the FedEx Corporation. Replacements will be hired from outside the company since it is obvious that fresh and knowledgable leadership is highly unlikely to be found within the ranks of existing management personnel.
Effective immediately, the following restrictions will be placed on all FedEx management above the level of Managing Director:
1. No more interest-free loans
2. No more stock options
3. No more executive jet travel. The corporate jet fleet will be sold and all management will travel via coach.
4. Meal and lodging expenses will revert to hourly levels of compensation
5. No more bonuses. The performance of the Express division has been abysmal and to pay anyone a single penny over and above their substantial salaries would be criminal.
6. A salary review of all management above the level of Managing Director. Again, the gross leadership failure of upper managment personnel does not justify the high rates of compensation currently being paid. There is a salary freeze for a period of one year.
7. Further restrictions will be imposed as soon as the BOE gets a full report on the magnitude and scope of both the greed and utter incompetence of upper management. It is extensive, and criminal charges could be possible for certain individuals who have violated campaign finance law, stock market regulations, and other legal statutes.
We, the Board of Employees are both shocked and saddened at the necessity of taking such bold actions. However, the scope of incompetence, poor judgement, and plain stupidity are simply too egregious to tolerate any longer.
We wish these former employees the best, and look forward to making FedEx Express a great company once again.
Respectfully,
Your Board of Employees
Effective immediately, the following restrictions will be placed on all FedEx management above the level of Managing Director:
1. No more interest-free loans
2. No more stock options
3. No more executive jet travel. The corporate jet fleet will be sold and all management will travel via coach.
4. Meal and lodging expenses will revert to hourly levels of compensation
5. No more bonuses. The performance of the Express division has been abysmal and to pay anyone a single penny over and above their substantial salaries would be criminal.
6. A salary review of all management above the level of Managing Director. Again, the gross leadership failure of upper managment personnel does not justify the high rates of compensation currently being paid. There is a salary freeze for a period of one year.
7. Further restrictions will be imposed as soon as the BOE gets a full report on the magnitude and scope of both the greed and utter incompetence of upper management. It is extensive, and criminal charges could be possible for certain individuals who have violated campaign finance law, stock market regulations, and other legal statutes.
We, the Board of Employees are both shocked and saddened at the necessity of taking such bold actions. However, the scope of incompetence, poor judgement, and plain stupidity are simply too egregious to tolerate any longer.
We wish these former employees the best, and look forward to making FedEx Express a great company once again.
Respectfully,
Your Board of Employees
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