How do you handle the stress (and BS) at work to where you can put in your time

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by dannyboy, Jul 9, 2008.

  1. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND

    Dill asked a question of me, and due to the short time I had to respond, I told her to take the job one day, one hour at a time. If you dont, the downers of the job get so overwhelming that you do lose sight of the positives.

    She put it this way

    There were times when my job was fantastic, and I loved going in to work, looked forward to it actually. Then there were times that I would stay up all night Sunday, cause I knew that If I went to sleep, the next thing I knew it would be time to go to work.

    Part of that dread was the management team that was in the center at the time. I have had managers (sups) that made it their point in life to be a pain to each driver, but some more than others.

    One thing I noticed was that early on, they knew they could mess with my head. They created self doubt as to my abilities as a UPS driver.

    What changed? I had a great center manager that came to our building, Leonard. I would equate him to UPS lifer, or some of the other management members that post with their views. It was he that made me realize that I was not only a great driver, but was allowing management to manipulate my self esteem. From that time forward, they never ever were able to do that again. I knew I was one of the best. The numbers bore it out, the customers affirmed it as well.

    IT was at that time that I began to not only stick up for myself, but those others around me that were targets. While that did bring extra attention to me, it was worth it. It was also at that time I began to take the fight to the company. I started with safety.

    They talk a good talk, and safety is the employee's responsibility. But when it comes to the company addressing some of the issues that they really did not want to address, it took some extra action. I did not do it all by myself, it was a team effort, of about 5-6 drivers. And we made a big difference.

    Now, before I get too long winded, let me finish by saying that to handle this job, you can never take managements rants and raves too seriously. Listen to what they have to say, correct any actions on your part that need it, but for the rest, let it slide off like rain on the windshield.

    If they begin to realize they cant get under your skin anymore, they will lighten up. And if not, think of the extra time in the office as a gift of overtime. Also, if you dont really have any shortcomings in what you do (do the job by the methods) then file on harassment. What are they going to do, harass you some more?

    Those employees that act like carpet will get walked on by unethical management. Those in management that are ethical and humane will always treat their employees fairly.

    As to the job itself, if you dont like what you do, then you really dont belong at UPS. Find something else you do enjoy. While the money is great, you would be surprised at what else is out there.

  2. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Thanks Daniel. This is more along the lines of what I was hoping for before. I know my methods are not perfect but what I lack in methods I more than make up for in effort. I never had anyone teach me. I do love my job. I have always loved driving and being outside. Every once in awhile I (I'm sure we all do) will have a customer that is a bad egg. It doesn't happen often though and in the whole scope of the job it's not enough to cause me to pause and question my decision to work here. However mgt is a different story.

    My mgt team has varied over the last 3 years and mostly they have no morals. I give 1 exception and though, he was mgt through and through, he was still for the most part a decent guy.

    For me, it's hard to not let them get into my head or under my skin. This is something that I will struggle with everyday. There are days when the company rhetoric doesn't bother me, I just let it go. But, it is hard for me to do it. I tend to take things personally, especially when they attack my character. I just want to go out and do my job and take care of my customers. In that process I take care of the company.

  3. helenofcalifornia

    helenofcalifornia Well-Known Member

    In one ear and out the other. It's an acquired skill that you learn over the years. Something that one usually doesn't have the ability to do when they first start. There are things you should listen to, but most of the rest is just "blah, blah, blah." Life is way too short to waste time on junk. Pick and choose who you decide to invest your precious time with. Of course, this is a lesson learned over time and with experience. Youth is SO wasted on the young.
  4. barnyard

    barnyard KTM rider Staff Member

    Sometimes, you really do have to do one day at a time.

    2 weeks ago, one of the buildings I deliver to had a hostage incident that ended in the death of the hostage taker. I happened to be there just as the sheriff was responding. While I did not actually see or even hear the guy get shot, I ended up with quite a few symptoms of PTSD. It was tough watching the people that sign my board everyday running for their lives, obviously scared for their lives.

    I found my coworkers very unhelpful.

    For me, it was just talking with the folks that were there and letting people tell me, "I've been praying for you and the others." It is very, very humbling when strangers tell you that.

    I've been covering the route for almost a year and thought about going back and covering other routes. I'm glad that I did not. It gets a little easier everyday and everyday, I run into another person that says something nice that makes the day go better.

    More here.....

  5. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND

    It is hard to not let something like that affect your life.

    Several years ago, my wife had an aunt and uncle that had befriended a young couple in their church. She had cancer very badly, and they shuttled the woman to her appointments, many of which were hundreds of miles away.

    Anyway on a Sunday night, they were all sitting at her aunts living room talking when the guy pulls out a 38 and begins to shoot. the first two shots struck her aunt, the first in the face right below the left eye, the second shot into her right side as she slumped forward and to the side.

    At that time he turned his attention to Uncle Bill, a big man of 6'6", who was getting up toward him. The remaining four shots went point blank into him, two into his jaw and neck, and the other two into his chest. Bill chased him out the door, locked it, and went back to check on his wife, but collapsed before he could get there. Lucky for him anyway, because one of the shots had gone through an artery, and the way he fell behind the couch caused pressure to be placed on the chest.

    The guys wife, who had hidden, called 9-11, her husband tried to re-enter the home with another gun, but when he was not able, went to the ministers house 3 blocks away, and when he was not home, went to the 7-11 nearby and called 9-11 himself.

    We found out about it within an hour were there. I ended up finally finding their son at about 4AM. Got home around 6, and had to go to work anyway that day.

    They ended up surviving the shooting for a few years, but the toll on their bodies ended up killing them. He spent less time in custody than they spent in the hospital.

    What is really bad about the whole thing is that for years afterward, I had to control my emotions as I delivered to him at an apartment building on my route. People all the way around him had no idea as to who he was or what he had done.

    Co workers have no clue what this type of activity causes you to feel. They really can not relate to you or what you are feeling.

    The only thing that I found that works is a strong belief system. And prayer. The knowledge and belief of a higher power that is in charge, and that justice will be done.

    As far as trauma, my brother is a captain with the Fire and Rescue, and thanksgiving a few years back got a call on an accident on the interstate, about 5 blocks where we were at my fathers house. He responded, even though he was off. A large family in a car had been hit, one of the sisters had been thrown out of the car, and her legs had been hit by a tractor trailer. But what affected him worse was one of their babies had been thrown out into traffic and had been hit several times by passing traffic.

    It was years before he got over that call.

    Have faith. Have patience, always do the right thing. Things will work out for you.

  6. barnyard

    barnyard KTM rider Staff Member

    Yep. Felt my serenity slipping away. Time to get some more.

    I should also add, that my driver supe has asked me several times how things are going and if I was still talking to the PTSD team at the courthouse.

  7. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    First of all let me apologize for diverting the other thread, I was having a pity party, and I wanted someone to party with.
    Second, dannys post is a tough act to follow.:whiteflag:
    In my humble opinion I think "we" meaning the women on here, take it harder, meaning the constant criticism, because we had to prove ourselves more than the males, and thats fine. Ive been doing it all my life. But when you constantly get attacked about numbers, I dont even care about hours, and you know you did an outstanding job, it hurts to the core of your work ethic.
    I know I dont slack, I dont have accidents, follow ups, or complaints. I know that this week and a few times last week my truck went out with 2xs what it did 2 yrs ago, and the all knowing computer called it a 8.8 or 9 and it took me 10.5 or 11.
    Yesterday I had 129, which 65 was 8 hrs before the new standards. And it was an 8.8. My sup looked at me as soon as he saw I cared to look and was doing the OMG, your computer crashed again, and he knows its wrong. And says I know I know I dont even want to hear you. I was the third worst, I always look who is worst (least best)and it wasnt me. I gave the other sup, the dont talk to me sign, and he didnt. The first sup said the other one was going to tell me I needed to kick it up a notch, and he told him it wasnt a good idea. Coz he knows my route and that measurement is insane.
    But after stressing for years, Its not I dont care, its coz it doesnt matter. If they want to fire me, they will find a way. I do make mistakes. And if they want to catch me they most likely will. Its not I do anything wrong, its we are human, and if you want to gig me for not using a handrail, or not using three points, whatever, do it. If they want someone who goes out, does service, comes to work every single day, has no accidents or injuries, or complaints, I am their girl.
    But I think what really did it for me was losing 4 family members (2 to heart attacks) , in 6 yrs, and then last summer sitting in the hospital on July 18th when my husband had his, all by myself, No family, only me and God. At that point I realized that instead of taking my husband to the hopital to see what was wrong I told him to take his ownself (is that a word) I knew he was sick, violently ill, and I chose to go to work instead, as I called in and they couldnt spare me. Duh. I had the same instance with a child I took to the hopital at 3am, and left him there and no one at work at that time told me the hospital had called and he needed emergency appendectomy. I was out delivering air in a snow storm, pre diad and cell phones. I should have learned then but I didnt.
    I am not going to stress over a job, that I do to the best of my ability every day of my life for the past 23 yrs. And if my husband survives this, I am never going to burden him with my stress, day in and day out. And Im not going to stress either. Because in the end, its your life, your job is what you do to live, it is not or should not be your life.
    You were looking for one when you found this one. You will find another and you will survive no matter what you find. You will not fall off the end of the earth.
    Please excuse my long rant, I just hope it helps someone realize that we all have jobs to do. Your job is to drive and deliver, your bosses job is to make you achieve sometimes the impossible. Its just a job, it doesnt matter. Go in do it, and be happy. When they complain, just smile, and go to work. And look forward to your time with the ones you love. Lifes short, enjoy it. Amen.
  8. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND


    Tell us how you feel. Really, dont hold back!

    You know, when your UPS career is over and you are at the house, do you even have a clue as to how many times they will call you and ask how you are doing? Or invite you to a company function? Or even care one way or another?

    You are yesterdays toilet paper. You did your job, but now you are no longer here. End of story. And that goes for managment too.

    Bottom line is work for yourself, even when you work for someone else, and make the home hours count. Its not the number of hours, its what you do with the ones you have.

    As for family times of crisis, choose family first. Yeah, UPS will have a tough day without you, but in two weeks will anyone ever remember which you did at UPS, but I will guarantee your family will.

    I know that flies in the face of most of my posts, but that is the way it is.

    Cause when UPS is gone, its family that will be in your life.

    And a smattering of BC maybe.........

  9. barnyard

    barnyard KTM rider Staff Member

    Good post.

    I decided last week that what happened at work, stayed at work. No point in making everyone else's life miserable because I was unhappy and lately, it seems that work has been a grind (by lately, I might be referring to the last 10 years.....)

    My wife thought it was related to the scene from a couple of weeks ago. I don't think it was, just the straw that broke the camel's back.

    My daughter left for a trip this am and I stopped at the cash machine last night and got her some cash. I apologized for being kind of hard on her this summer and told her that I was trying to buy her love back. Everyone laughed, but I think we all got the point.

    Maybe we should form a group like AA.....

  10. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND

    We have, its called brown cafe.

  11. barnyard

    barnyard KTM rider Staff Member


    My name is Tom and I work at UPS......

  12. 705red

    705red Browncafe Steward

    Once management knows they can rattle you and get in your head they will do it at will. I remember the first time i was talked to for running over allowed, i replyed if i was running i wouldnt be over now would i? I was working safely!

    I see this all to often and i tell the employees just to stand up for themselves. Tell the boss if he thinks he can do it better come show you how to do it.

    All in all we are people and if respect is given give it, if not dont.
  13. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    My name is tooner, I am a brownaholic. I havent been upset in over a year. Well not really. Oh no I am in denial.:sad-very:
  14. drewed

    drewed Shankman

    The biggest thing is not to take things personal, if you do that most cases youll be golden, me I tend to joke around to play off stress
  15. scoobypanda

    scoobypanda Active Member

    A few years ago, we got a new manager and he actually said "there's a new sheriff in town blah blah blah".Pretty funny.A few weeks later in pcm he says he needs a few minutes out of each of us,maybe cut lunch 10 minutes short.Some of the guys were freaking out and I explained that he has nothing to lose with his outrageous speeches or demands, he doesn't care what we think or say of him and if 1 or 2 guys are dumb enough to listen, he picks up 10 or 20 minutes on-road.
    Another time I walked in with another driver and I was complaining about work.She asked me if I was happy at home and I said very much so. She then asked if I would rather have happiness at home or at work because very few have both.
    Lastly, I had a conversation with a manager once where I joked about my mediocre on-road and he said he didn't care. He looked at my work on the whole. No late air or missed deliveries. No tracers or customer complaints. No injuries or accidents. Help the guys around me and new drivers. He told me I was an asset to the company.
    Those 3 incidents were main components in shaping my day to day attitude. I am good at what I do and as long as me and my customers think that, it doesn't matter what my supervisor of the month thinks. If they don't care what I think of them, why should I care what they think of me and most importantly, take my work seriously, take pride in what I do, but don't let it define who or what I am. Family and friends are what's important.
  16. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    To everyone thank you so much for your candor, even on the personal issues. It helps me to realize that my situation could be alot worse.

    Daniel, all I can say is thank you. You have helped me alot in the last few months.

    Barnyard, I have never been in a situation like this so I can't even imagine the stress that you have had to deal with. I do know that it is great to have a supportive team (be it friends, family, or coworkers).

    Tooner, I agree with you in that women have to prove themselves, sometimes tenfold. I have been in the trucking industry for more than 15 years. And, though most men have an open mind to women doing a job that has traditionally been a man's, there are still alot of men that do not approve. I also agree with Danny, do not ever put the company over your family in times of crisis. We have had a few times when drivers have had to be out due to family emergencies. The majority of drivers have always been very supportive and the few that have not are not worth wasting your time on. The company will survive.

    705, I know that they will try to rattle cages. This is the part that I struggle with frequently. PS, keep fighting the good fight. IMO, Tie is a wet towel. He can't even answer my request to clarify his statements.

    Drew, I haven't learned to joke 'off' stress. I get mad and my alligator mouth gets the better of me.

    I am dilli and I am a brown-a-holic.:happy2:
  17. upsdude

    upsdude Well-Known Member

    Like others have said, in one ear and out the other is my method. I also realized early on that it isn’t personal when a sup makes unreasonable demands or gets his Fruit of the Looms in a wad. Just make sure you’re doing all you can, follow the methods and most importantly, work safe. It also helps to have a spouse that fully supports your work and doesn’t nag about when you’ll be home.

    If you want to work at a place where everything is “Go Team” and high fives, get a job at Wal-Mart. Well, that’s what I tell the new hires.
  18. satellitedriver

    satellitedriver Moderator Staff Member

    I called in sick for the first time in 22yrs several months ago.
    As I was leaning over to hang up the phone, my beautiful wife said to me," It will not hurt as much the next time."
    I felt like a wimp for not pulling myself out of bed and going to work, but I did not have the strength.
    It was a mental turning point for me.
    I realized I can be too dedicated to my work.
    My name is Steve,
    and I am a workaholic.
    In recovery.
  19. filthpig

    filthpig Active Member do I do it?

    1) Keep your head down and keep moving

    2) NEVER look at the know, the one that says what you planned, etc.

    3) NEVER go to the dispatch office and tell "them" you have too much work, etc.

    4) Always do EXACTLY what you're told by management.

    5) If you have too many airs, tell your immediate supervisor ONCE, then let them worry about it.

    6) Scan everything.

    7) go home, have a couple of stiff drinks, hug your kids, and get up and repeat steps 1-6.

    I am FILTHPIG and I approve this message.
  20. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    When I walk thru the door in the morning, I expect a 14 hour day with 150 missed stops. I expect a horrible load. If it happens, I'm not disappointed. If it doesnt happen...I'm pleasantly surprised. Its all about managing expectations and not taking anything personally. 250 million starving Africans dont really care if I'm overallowed or have too many I dont need to care either. I will still be a driver on my center long after every single management person I deal with has been transferred, promoted or fired.