I am now faced with going to see a specialist to try and find out what is the cause behind the extremely painful symptoms I was experiencing. However, my panel hearing to try and save my job would take place before my doctor’s appointment. Even though I was represented by union members, I felt like I was all alone in this fight. The panel consisted of my Center Manager, District Manager and a few people that I have never seen before. I tried to explain what my day was like on the day in question. I also apologized for my error and explained that I had an up coming appointment with a specialist that hopefully would shed some light on what was going on with me health wise. They proceeded to ask me questions and some had nothing to do with the incident. I could not believe what I was hearing because they tried to paint a picture of me that was totally un-true. I have sacrificed a lot to become a full-time driver. And as a single parent with two kids, I wasn’t going to throw my career away to gain absolutely nothing. I have always worked hard to try and satisfy my customers as well as my employer. My center manager refused to accept my apology and stated that “he didn’t want me to do it again.” It didn’t make sense for it to happen in the first place unless there was some truth in what I was trying to articulate. The line between making a keying error and something considered “dishonesty” is open to interpretation. If you are empowered to determine if a person is being “dishonest” or not, then you first must be truly honest and filled with integrity yourself. The Teamsters/UPS agreement is a signed contract where both parties are obligated to abide by the terms. At a PCM prior to the day of my incident, our center manager instructed all drivers to basically go against what the union contract stated so that the numbers in the center would look favorable. There was no mention in the contract of what he profoundly directed us to do. Since my center manager made up his own rules that clearly violated the contract, where does he stand as far as having “integrity?” But this was the same person who was instrumental in seeing my days end with UPS. A keying error made under the duress of a painful undiagnosed health condition, I was deemed “dishonest.” So the verdict of guilty for alleged “dishonesty” which is a cardinal sin was upheld. Now I was faced with a choice to appeal to a higher panel to try and keep my job or to fight for my health. I chose to fight for my health! One thing about me that few fellow drivers knew and my center manager DID NOT know, that I was a born again Christian. I may not be perfect, but I worked hard everyday trying to do right by God. So I had a higher standard of honesty and integrity that I tried to live by. Devastated again by the results of my panel hearing, I was still faced with the unknown of finding out what was the cause of so much physical anguish. I went to my appointment with a specialist for what ended up being a series of special test. One of the first test resulted in abnormalities found my abdominal area. Still, my full diagnoses had yet to be discovered. I was referred to one of the leading Gastroenterologist in the area. It took months and months of tests but I finally was diagnosed with a life altering medical condition. Over time, rage and bitterness towards UPS consumed me which allowed for my deteriorating health condition to be exacerbated. But now I know I had to forgive them in order for me to be set free. Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that all people including the ones who condemned Him to death could be saved. He told the truth about who He was. However, Jesus was found guilty of something that His persecutors couldn't comprehend. They couldn't understand what Jesus was telling them so they created their own conclusion that was false to justify His crucifixion. I am not comparing my situation with what Jesus went through, but I must follow how God would want me to handle this.So I am now at a place where I can forgive the panel board for not accepting my apology. And I also forgive my Center Manager who was the lead person that was determined to terminate my employment with the company. On top of all that I have been through, there are still two things that weigh heavy on my heart. The first thing is that I was involved with the Big Brothers/ Big Sisters program where I volunteered to mentor a 12 year boy who’s father wasn't there. We started to build a relationship but I couldn't continue because of my health condition. It was devastating to him and to me because we had a bond that was beginning to blossom.And to all of my friends at UPS that I worked with for years is the heaviest thing I carry. I built a lot of friendships with fellow drivers and others employees but they still do not know the real truth about what happened to me. However, with God’s plan and direction they will soon.