How not to poop

Discussion in 'Life After Brown' started by scooby0048, Feb 3, 2019.

  1. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    Just got back from a road trip to Vegas. The old saying, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" does NOT apply here. Along the way, I had to take care of business and upon closing the stall door, I see this:

    20190131_171946.jpg

    You could imagine my surprise when I notice there are instructions on how to poop. Lots of things going on right here in my head. So, is there some kind of new pooping that has to have instructions? I almost could not perform thinking about all the scenarios and the reasons for this sign. Below are only a few of the things racing through my mind at the time...
    • Did someone hurt themselves pooping so high off the seat?
    • Did they fall in?
    • Did they fall off?
    • Did the poop hit the seat?
    • Did the poop hit the floor?
    • Did the water splash back up like it does in those blue porta potties?
    • Is there some new craze that I'm not hip to like planking or parkour or is there some new Facebook skyriding poop challenge?
    • Do you wipe like that or do you have stand and bend?
    • Do you have to front flip to get off the seat?
    • Do those cool seat protectors make the pose more slippery?
    • Did someone complain to store management concerning someone doing something strange while pooping to warrant this sign or was there a corporate think tank somewhere discussing the proper pooping sign?
    • What would happen if I was some kind of poop ninja and COULD actually get onto the seat that way...would I get in trouble? Who would know? Do I self-report or hope someone isn't peeping through the slit in the door or looking over the stall waiting for me to violate this rule?
    I still can't help thinking about this sign. It wasn't until several miles away from the store that something started to gnaw at me...

    Is there a similar sign in the ladies room advising not to drip dry?
     
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  2. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Ladies don't poop .
     
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  3. Operational needs

    Operational needs Virescit Vulnere Virtus

    There are cultures where they stand on the toilet seat to use the bathroom and guessing by the picture, squat with their feet on the seat also. Lol.
     
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  4. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    That has to create a lot of splash back. Especially in the case of a belly flop drop .
     
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  5. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    I'm almost surprised it took you so long to reply!
     
  6. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Poop is one of the keywords that sends me an alert .
     
  7. zubenelgenubi

    zubenelgenubi Well-Known Member

    It's because Las Vegas is an international destination, and a lot of the rest of the world uses squat toilets. People from those places have as much trouble adjusting to western toilets as we do squat toilets. The biggest problem is foot prints on toilet seats.
     
  8. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

    kink_unkink.gif
     
  9. Operational needs

    Operational needs Virescit Vulnere Virtus

    Squatting on toilet seat (this is a bit gross, sor... - Airbnb Community
     
  10. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    Just wait til someone misses the pose and ends up with the seat lid being impaled. Just look how close the poor fellow in the left picture got to pooping sideways
     
  11. MyTripisCut

    MyTripisCut Dumpster, INABAG

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  12. Operational needs

    Operational needs Virescit Vulnere Virtus

    Someone I work with was in the bathroom once with one of the Hispanic girls from Honduras that we work with. She heard a loud tumbling noise from her stall. The girl was standing on the seat and fell off! Lol.
     
  13. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    I stand over the seat at gas stations
     
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  14. Operational needs

    Operational needs Virescit Vulnere Virtus

    You can’t squat with your feet on the floor?
     
  15. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Yes .I meant feet on the floor standing over toliet.
     
  16. Brisket

    Brisket Well-Known Member

    Watch out for ‘water displacement’ lol.
     
  17. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Better to just go in the trashcan
     
  18. MyTripisCut

    MyTripisCut Dumpster, INABAG

    877168EB-6A40-42A0-8563-929E4207E1B7.jpeg B82A5D47-D527-41AC-9BE4-EAF345777D1C.jpeg 5BA03A5E-B496-4D23-B323-0A05CAB2BD37.jpeg
     
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  19. scooby0048

    scooby0048 This page left intentionally blank

    They better have some cables and ropes hanging from the ceiling to hold on to or else they will be fishing me out of the sht pit.
     
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  20. MyTripisCut

    MyTripisCut Dumpster, INABAG

    How do you not poo into your own pants?