If I won the lottery this is how I'd quit UPS!

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Mike23, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    90% of us would likely quit our jobs if we could and just live life to the fullest. I thought it'd be a fun post for this since I'm sure I'm not the only one who've thought of it.

    Anyways, here's mine:

    Get a skateboard or rollerblades, climb on the belt and roll on down it with nothing on except the letters 'kiss this management' written on my keester. Background song blaring would be Perfect Stranger - Fire When Ready

  2. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    LOL This outta be entertaining. If I won the lottery, I would not quit. I would stay just to be a PITA. :surprised:
  3. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Well-Known Member

    My on car and I have already had this discussion. I would simply park the truck (yes, truck--not pkg car), leave the keys in the DIAD holder, send an ODS and go start the rest of my life.
  4. speeddemon

    speeddemon Guest

    I would stuff my uniforms and a Letter Box. Bye You Freaks!
  5. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    This is like my other idea. If I found out on road (I'm originally from Ontario but currently in Alberta) I would just start driving to Ontario. At around 2100 I'd park the car in the middle of nowhere (since by now they've probably contacted the police) which would likely be in Saskwatch land or Manitoba. Call them up and say, 'The truck is somewhere between Alberta and Ontario, have fun finding it'. What do I care? I can always pay for it later :D

    Hitch a ride to the nearest (poshest of course) hotel, spend the night, get up and buy a brand new car and continue on my way.
  6. helenofcalifornia

    helenofcalifornia Well-Known Member

    I wonder how many more "relatives" I would discover if I hit the lotto.
  7. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    Call me weird, but I would complete my route in a safe and productive manner. I would then return to the building and give my management 2 weeks written notice. If they said they didnt need me---likely, with all the layoffs right now---then I would fill out all necessary paperwork, turn in my uniforms, and depart with dignity, class and professionalism. I have always been a big believer in holding management accountable to the contract, so I have to hold myself accountable as well.

    I may not always like the management philosophy of this company but it has been a good career for me and whatever grudges I might hold, I would be the bigger man and let go of them. And I'm not going to crap all over my coworkers and dump an entire undelivered route on them just to "get even" with some supervisor who ticked me off.
  8. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    First, what's this 'acou-ntab-le' word you speak of? I know I've never heard of it in UPS at least :wink2:

    Also, why not just drive the truck to the middle of nowhere and torch the sucker. That way your other drivers don't have to worry about it and management gets dumped all over :D You can't put a price on good ol'petty vengence!

    Just make sure no firefighters show up. Just you, truck, gas and lighter :D Many psychics, palm readers and tarrot card people also believe fire is a cleansing ritual. That's why girls have boyfriend picture burning parties. So, you see, it would HELP you cleanse all the grudges too ;)
  9. anonymous6

    anonymous6 Guest

    I thought I already won the lottery when I got hired on at UPS !
  10. ajblakejr

    ajblakejr Age quod agis

    If I won the lottery...the winnings would sit uncollected until the last moment.

    I would not quit UPS.

    I would not change who I am to be someone I would not respect.

    Perhaps... I would drop a real gold coin the the Salvation Army Bucket at Christmas. I would read about it or hear the story from others.

    Perhaps... I would sneak a Franklin for a single poppy from a Vet.

    Perhaps...when you would ask me to sponsor you in a charity event...I would double my pledge when I write the check.
  11. some1else

    some1else Active Member

    i would stick around and see just how much crap i could dish until i got fired. then hire some 500$ an hour lawyers for each panel lmao. it would be fun!
  12. Catatonic

    Catatonic Nine Lives

    I would continue to work for at least a year ... in fact, I would try to not make any major changes for at least a year.

    AJ touched on it ... continue to be the same person as before.
  13. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    There is a huge difference in what I would actually do and the dream of taking a dump on the managers desk. But then, not the manager we have now, buy one that used to be here.
  14. bluehdmc

    bluehdmc Well-Known Member

    Newspaper Headline: Ex-UPS employee wins lottery!
  15. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Well-Known Member

    When I was military I read of an enlisted man who won the lottery and the military requested that he separate from the military, be given an honorable discharge and to have to repay the remaining time on his enlistment. They cited a failure to adapt clause as the reason behind their decision.

    I wonder if UPS would approach this in a similar manner and perhaps offer a buyout to entice the lottery winner to separate.

    Both Hoax and AJ made excellent points of not letting the instant wealth change who you are as a person. AJ spoke of putting a real gold coin in one of the red kettles.

    I would ensure that all of my bills are taken care of, my kids' bills are taken care of, get an unlisted phone number and a competent financial planner.

    And, yes, I would tell UPS where to go and how quickly to get there.
  16. pkgdriver

    pkgdriver Member

    Excellent post sober,I would try to do the same.
  17. Mike23

    Mike23 Guest

    Oh, another good idea to do with the money. If it was well over, lets say, 900 billion (I know, would never happen but hey, it's a fantasy post, ok?!) I'd buy UPS, demote all the supervisors back to drivers and promote all drivers to managers. Then see how long it would take all the managers to quit and promote all our hard working preloaders to drivers with only half the work load we have to do ATM on each car.

    Geez, everyone wanting to go out with dignity...You're RICH! Filthy, disgustingly rich! You have so much money that you COULD take a dump on the managers desk, you COULD buy UPS! Come on people, lets hear the knitty gritty :D
  18. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Sorry Mike, I am not giving up my driving job to be no stinking mgr or sup. Not gonna happen. :peaceful:
  19. badpal.

    badpal. avoiding brown kool-aid

    Depending on how many millions I'd when. If it's like 40 million, I'd continue working as long as I could possibly stand it, pay off my house, bills, help family who need it, start a new career, let someone else (like our laid off cover guys) get a stab a driving who needs it. If it's a few million, I'd pay things off, keep on truckin and sock most away for retirement and of course beef up my "rainy day" fund
  20. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    I would stay the same sweet wonderful person I am who no longer works there. I would probably wait for a ball buster day, and call in and say, Hey I forgot Im a millionaire, bring a laid off guy and come get the truck. I know its wrong, but Id just have to.
    I would set up my kids, and a few people who I like who need a break. I would go to work at something I love that doesnt pay well, such as fostering dogs, or get a summer job landscaping. I would spoil my grandchildren, not with things but with time spent.
    I would fish more, fret less, and live longer.

    And I would buy myself a 1968 Dodge Charger, honestly thats all I want that I dont have. And pay off any and all debt, owe no one a dime.