Raj Replaced As FedEx Express CEO By George Santos

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Memphis, TN, 12-27-22

In a shocking move, FedEx Express spokesperson Slick Watts announced this afternoon that Congressman-elect George Santos, will replace Raj Subramamiam as CEO, effective immediately. When pressed for details, Watts said " Santos has the proven ability to lie and prevaricate in a manner unseen since the leadership of Frederick W. Smith. It's the lifeblood of the continuing success of our organization". Reached at home in Monaco, Santos confirmed he was stepping down from his new Congressional post and would assume the CEO position in Memphis as soon he finished astronaut training, an audience with The Pope, and acceptance of The Nobel prize. In the meantime, he will run the company telepathically from his Monaco castle, reportedly willed to him by Prince Rainier in return for the sacrifices of his Jewish family during WW2.

Subramamiam has already left the country for his native India, with a reported $25M severance payment. His spokeswoman, Ravi Festoon, refused comment. Under Subramamiam's tenure, FedEx has struggled mightily to meet financial goals and maintain customer services.

Reached at his vacation home in The Bahamas, Frederick Smith said "I fully support the hiring of George Santos and expect great things from him in the future". Smith hurriedly dropped the phone and returned to his hyperbaric life support chamber in the underground complex he shares with life partner Auric Goldfinger.

Kevin McCarthy, current GOP minority House Leader and potential Speaker of The House, had no comment when the AP attempted to contact him at the Mar-A-Lago residence of former President Donald Trump, where he and his family are spending the Christmas holiday. In the past, both McCarthy and Trump have praised Santos as a prototype for Republican ethics.
 
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zeev

Well-Known Member
Wow very interesting
 

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bacha29

Well-Known Member
Memphis, TN, 12-27-22

In a shocking move, FedEx Express spokesperson Slick Watts announced this afternoon that Congressman-elect George Santos, will replace Raj Subramamiam as CEO, effective immediately. When pressed for details, Watts said " Santos has the proven ability to lie and prevaricate in a manner unseen since the leadership of Frederick W. Smith. It's the lifeblood of the continuing success of our organization". Reached at home in Monaco, Santos confirmed he was stepping down from his new Congressional post and would assume the CEO position in Memphis as soon he finished astronaut training, an audience with The Pope, and acceptance of The Nobel prize. In the meantime, he will run the company telepathically from his Monaco castle, reportedly willed to him by Prince Rainier in return for the sacrifices of his Jewish family during WW2.

Subramamiam has already left the country for his native India, with a reported $25M severance payment. His spokeswoman, Ravi Festoon, refused comment. Under Subramamiam's tenure, FedEx has struggled mightily to meet financial goals and maintain customer services.

Reached at his vacation home in The Bahamas, Frederick Smith said "I fully support the hiring of George Santos and expect great things from him in the future". Smith hurriedly dropped the phone and returned to his hyperbaric life support chamber in the underground complex he shares with life partner Auric Goldfinger.

Kevin McCarthy, current GOP minority House Leader and potential Speaker of The House, had no comment when the AP attempted to contact him at the Mar-A-Lago residence of former President Donald Trump, where he and his family are spending the Christmas holiday. In the past, both McCarthy and Trump have praised Santos as a prototype for Republican ethics.
Baghdad Bob, Father Guido Sarducci and Joe Isuzu would be very proud.
 

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Baghdad Bob, Father Guido Sarducci and Joe Isuzu would be very proud.

Joe Isuzu would be the perfect FedEx PR guy. Nobody gets parody and satire here.Obviously, you understand. Waaaaaay back when we had "T-Shirt Ted" Sartorian, official Federal Express Cheerleader In Chief, who would go to troubled stations, ask a bunch of dumb questions like "How many Falcons are in the fleet". A correct answer would get you a lame T-shirt or other FX swag. Ted passed away relatively young , and nobody replaced him. Actually, quite a character. Think Cal Worthington.
 
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bacha29

Well-Known Member
Joe Isuzu would be the perfect FedEx PR guy. Nobody gets parody and satire here.Obviously, you understand. Waaaaaay back when we had "T-Shirt Ted" Sartorian, official Federal Express Cheerleader In Chief, who would go to troubled stations, ask a bunch of dumb questions like "How many Falcons are in the fleet". A correct answer would get you a lame T-shirt or other FX swag. Ted passed away relatively young , and nobody replaced him. Actually, quite a character. Think Cal Worthington.
Cal Worthington....and his dog Dano. Rod Serling wouldn't have been too bad and perhaps Mr. Haney from Green Acres
 

bacha29

Well-Known Member
I absolutely agree.

Isuzu light trucks and passenger vehicles were awful.
If you think those were bad . Nothing could have been as bad as the first Subaru's . OMG rust!. Just one snow belt winter and they were smelter bait. Then Toyota came in and showed them how to built cars.
 
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