LarryBird

Well-Known Member
BOOM!

Illegal immigrant neighbors blow up handsome, clean cut, sober, upstanding citizen's house in Pennsylvania after argument involving politics get's taken to the next level.

In the battle of TrumpTard vs. Brown LibCuck, who shall be the ultimate victor ?
 

LarryBird

Well-Known Member
Every interview should be with a drunk guy. That's better than that late night stuff they call comedy.
It's definitely great stuff. My cousin sent me a link to this in a text like a decade ago, and it's something I've probably watched at least 50 times in the years since. Between remembering it myself once a year and popping it on, and watching it while sharing it with others who haven't seen it, Tommy has really become a regular presence in my life.

He should definitely do more interviews. These stations should give him $40 to be split up in a $35/$5 booze to food ratio every Friday morning, drop him off at his local bar at 11am, and meet him back in said bar's parking lot for a 7 minute live look-in, offering his insights into the news of the day/week or whatever's on his mind, for the 6pm newscast.

It would be their highest rated segment of the week. In any week. Ever. A bona fide hit, and if Tommy's original video is any indication, a viral sensation. They could not lose. Dude's a star. An accidental star, perhaps, but one whose unintentional comedic genius, propels him to stardom nonetheless.

Not to politicize this discussion, but the thread title already has, so I'll add that he's also the personification of Trump's political base - a living, breathing, and most importantly, talking portrait of a deplorable in his natural habitat. Priceless. He's probably a Trump campaign volunteer, as he's certainly unemployed, and likely on disability/SSI. So he's definitely got the time, and his racism suggests, he's probably got the inclination as well.
 

LarryBird

Well-Known Member
I think I'll post some deep background on Tommy for you guys. He's had a lot to say on race relation and politics in the past.

Some have said, he may be the love child of Rush Limbaugh and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and who's to say they're wrong for suggesting an alternative fact. Certainly, not me, as I've not seen the long-form birth certificate yet, and neither have their naysayers.
 

burrheadd

KING Of GIFS
BOOM!

Illegal immigrant neighbors blow up handsome, clean cut, sober, upstanding citizen's house in Pennsylvania after argument involving politics get's taken to the next level.

In the battle of TrumpTard vs. Brown LibCuck, who shall be the ultimate victor ?

Dude has got it goin on
Lives in the basement gets drunk in the middle of the day

Wait is that @rickyb
 

LarryBird

Well-Known Member
Deep background on Tommy:

Tommy, 47 year's old, and he's a vocal Trump supporter, who's decided to speak out in the wake of an attack on his family's lives, and perhaps even more importantly, their way of living.

Tommy, along with his mother and father, whom he still lives with(for their benefit he adds), has occupied his residence his whole friggin' life, and he claims there's been poachers on his land these past few years. "This used to be an all white neighborhood, and then back in the nineties we had a family of blacks, single mother 'n four kids, move in", Tommy mentions, with his voice trailing off warily after 'the nineties', as if he's remembering a different time.

And maybe he is...

"When that philandering piece of Godless *, Bill Clinton took office, those black's got to thinking they could go anywheres, and do anything they wanted, and damn if they did", Tommy goes on. "They moved right on in, and one broken family of criminals, turnt into twelve, and 'fore your know it, we was almost equal numbers, sharing the block. Except we really wasn't, cause we'd lived here longer. Our whole friggin' lives!", Tommy declares, the disdain in his voice barely hidden.

"Then it went on like that for a bit, and we had a security system installed and all that, and it was almost ok, you know? But they really took their uppity asses to another realm when that muslim bastard Barack 'Osama' Obama stole that damn election in 2008", he goes on. "Right about that exact time, the Mexicans move in, sixteen to a house, beer bottles and taco wrappers everywhere. No regard for human life. I'm talking un-friggin'-real", he says with what sounds like disgust laden with a tinge of jealousy.

"These guys have been blaring their horn solo chicano cock rock, and clogging up the pharmacy line with Western Union's to their comrades back in Old Mexico for too * long", Tommy says with emphasis on his pronunciation of Mexico in an exaggerated imitation of the traditional Mexican way. "So here we *ING ARE, hombres, in twenty-sixteen, the year of our lord, Amen, and Donald Trump is the 'El Presidente' of the US of A. Things done changed on a dime. ON A DIME!", and Tommy's clearly worked himself into a near lather by this point.

"We took back our jobs at the chicken plant, and the landscaping businesses, and ran them sons of bitches right out of the neighborhood. We left our election signs up long after he won, as a show of solidarity in racism, and as you can see, mine's STILL up.", his pride now swelling. "We chased them out so quick, that we never really thought of what was gonna happen, or who was gonna move in, kinda figured they were gonna be white and Christian though", the hint of optimism in his voice belies the evident truth we both know.

"The white people never came back and we were left with a half a neighborhood's worth of empty houses - just sitting there vacant and in a state of disrepair. Un-friggin'-real", he says as if he's been ignoring the fact that he's white trash, and that his neighborhood is a *hole, is all to real.

"See, it's not the problems you can think of that'll get you in the end, it's the ones you can't imagine, those unknowable risks that leave you totally unprepared, that's the unforseen that kills the coal miner. Sure, we might later find out it was because the mine owner took the canary for his daughter's birthday gift the previous month, but she didn't know that fact, and at the time we were all singing happy birthday, like it was the best of times, and maybe it was", Tommy says without an inkling of the flawed wisdom his words carry, as if the irony of his thoughts never actually crossed his mind on the way to his lips.

"But while you were all at that birthday party, and the little girl was naming her canary, that furnace's oil drum was sitting there empty for two years, and yeah, you might say it was a long party. And yeah it definitely was. Cause for two winters them gases were steady building up...just straight percolating. Til the pressure built up so much, it had nowhere to go, and nothing left to do, but blow my damn house up and cause the destruction of anything near it", he laments without a clue of the deeper meaning his words just conveyed.

"The big picture of what I'm trying to tell you is this: white flight is real - it's what happens after you chase the mexican neighbors out, and their hot water tank blows through the roof. It's not what happened in this case, it was the kerosene that got us this time, but we survived, because we were prepared for such an incident. That's why I say, it's the unforseen water heater rockets - they blow you right through the roof, lazyboy and all, and your dead. Consider that.", and with that I realized Tommy was like many conservatives, so close to grasping the bigger message, but too confused on some of the minute details to really understand it all.

Yet he did leave me with some small hope that there's still a chance they might get it someday. Although it's not at all likely.


The End.
 
P

pickup

Guest
Deep background on Tommy:

Tommy, 47 year's old, and he's a vocal Trump supporter, who's decided to speak out in the wake of an attack on his family's lives, and perhaps even more importantly, their way of living.

Tommy, along with his mother and father, whom he still lives with(for their benefit he adds), has occupied his residence his whole friggin' life, and he claims there's been poachers on his land these past few years. "This used to be an all white neighborhood, and then back in the nineties we had a family of blacks, single mother 'n four kids, move in", Tommy mentions, with his voice trailing off warily after 'the nineties', as if he's remembering a different time.

And maybe he is...

"When that philandering piece of Godless *, Bill Clinton took office, those black's got to thinking they could go anywheres, and do anything they wanted, and damn if they did", Tommy goes on. "They moved right on in, and one broken family of criminals, turnt into twelve, and 'fore your know it, we was almost equal numbers, sharing the block. Except we really wasn't, cause we'd lived here longer. Our whole friggin' lives!", Tommy declares, the disdain in his voice barely hidden.

"Then it went on like that for a bit, and we had a security system installed and all that, and it was almost ok, you know? But they really took their uppity asses to another realm when that muslim bastard Barack 'Osama' Obama stole that damn election in 2008", he goes on. "Right about that exact time, the Mexicans move in, sixteen to a house, beer bottles and taco wrappers everywhere. No regard for human life. I'm talking un-friggin'-real", he says with what sounds like disgust laden with a tinge of jealousy.

"These guys have been blaring their horn solo chicano cock rock, and clogging up the pharmacy line with Western Union's to their comrades back in Old Mexico for too * long", Tommy says with emphasis on his pronunciation of Mexico in an exaggerated imitation of the traditional Mexican way. "So here we :censored2:ING ARE, hombres, in twenty-sixteen, the year of our lord, Amen, and Donald Trump is the 'El Presidente' of the US of A. Things done changed on a dime. ON A DIME!", and Tommy's clearly worked himself into a near lather by this point.

"We took back our jobs at the chicken plant, and the landscaping businesses, and ran them sons of bitches right out of the neighborhood. We left our election signs up long after he won, as a show of solidarity in racism, and as you can see, mine's STILL up.", his pride now swelling. "We chased them out so quick, that we never really thought of what was gonna happen, or who was gonna move in, kinda figured they were gonna be white and Christian though", the hint of optimism in his voice belies the evident truth we both know.

"The white people never came back and we were left with a half a neighborhood's worth of empty houses - just sitting there vacant and in a state of disrepair. Un-friggin'-real", he says as if he's been ignoring the fact that he's white trash, and that his neighborhood is a :censored2:hole, is all to real.

"See, it's not the problems you can think of that'll get you in the end, it's the ones you can't imagine, those unknowable risks that leave you totally unprepared, that's the unforseen that kills the coal miner. Sure, we might later find out it was because the mine owner took the canary for his daughter's birthday gift the previous month, but she didn't know that fact, and at the time we were all singing happy birthday, like it was the best of times, and maybe it was", Tommy says without an inkling of the flawed wisdom his words carry, as if the irony of his thoughts never actually crossed his mind on the way to his lips.

"But while you were all at that birthday party, and the little girl was naming her canary, that furnace's oil drum was sitting there empty for two years, and yeah, you might say it was a long party. And yeah it definitely was. Cause for two winters them gases were steady building up...just straight percolating. Til the pressure built up so much, it had nowhere to go, and nothing left to do, but blow my damn house up and cause the destruction of anything near it", he laments without a clue of the deeper meaning his words just conveyed.

"The big picture of what I'm trying to tell you is this: white flight is real - it's what happens after you chase the mexican neighbors out, and their hot water tank blows through the roof. It's not what happened in this case, it was the kerosene that got us this time, but we survived, because we were prepared for such an incident. That's why I say, it's the unforseen water heater rockets - they blow you right through the roof, lazyboy and all, and your dead. Consider that.", and with that I realized Tommy was like many conservatives, so close to grasping the bigger message, but too confused on some of the minute details to really understand it all.

Yet he did leave me with some small hope that there's still a chance they might get it someday. Although it's not at all likely.


The End.

Wow, your writing reminds me of that of Stephen King. Except when he writes a novel, he gets paid and well.
 

El Correcto

Well-Known Member
Deep background on Tommy:

Tommy, 47 year's old, and he's a vocal Trump supporter, who's decided to speak out in the wake of an attack on his family's lives, and perhaps even more importantly, their way of living.

Tommy, along with his mother and father, whom he still lives with(for their benefit he adds), has occupied his residence his whole friggin' life, and he claims there's been poachers on his land these past few years. "This used to be an all white neighborhood, and then back in the nineties we had a family of blacks, single mother 'n four kids, move in", Tommy mentions, with his voice trailing off warily after 'the nineties', as if he's remembering a different time.

And maybe he is...

"When that philandering piece of Godless *, Bill Clinton took office, those black's got to thinking they could go anywheres, and do anything they wanted, and damn if they did", Tommy goes on. "They moved right on in, and one broken family of criminals, turnt into twelve, and 'fore your know it, we was almost equal numbers, sharing the block. Except we really wasn't, cause we'd lived here longer. Our whole friggin' lives!", Tommy declares, the disdain in his voice barely hidden.

"Then it went on like that for a bit, and we had a security system installed and all that, and it was almost ok, you know? But they really took their uppity asses to another realm when that muslim bastard Barack 'Osama' Obama stole that damn election in 2008", he goes on. "Right about that exact time, the Mexicans move in, sixteen to a house, beer bottles and taco wrappers everywhere. No regard for human life. I'm talking un-friggin'-real", he says with what sounds like disgust laden with a tinge of jealousy.

"These guys have been blaring their horn solo chicano cock rock, and clogging up the pharmacy line with Western Union's to their comrades back in Old Mexico for too * long", Tommy says with emphasis on his pronunciation of Mexico in an exaggerated imitation of the traditional Mexican way. "So here we :censored2:ING ARE, hombres, in twenty-sixteen, the year of our lord, Amen, and Donald Trump is the 'El Presidente' of the US of A. Things done changed on a dime. ON A DIME!", and Tommy's clearly worked himself into a near lather by this point.

"We took back our jobs at the chicken plant, and the landscaping businesses, and ran them sons of bitches right out of the neighborhood. We left our election signs up long after he won, as a show of solidarity in racism, and as you can see, mine's STILL up.", his pride now swelling. "We chased them out so quick, that we never really thought of what was gonna happen, or who was gonna move in, kinda figured they were gonna be white and Christian though", the hint of optimism in his voice belies the evident truth we both know.

"The white people never came back and we were left with a half a neighborhood's worth of empty houses - just sitting there vacant and in a state of disrepair. Un-friggin'-real", he says as if he's been ignoring the fact that he's white trash, and that his neighborhood is a :censored2:hole, is all to real.

"See, it's not the problems you can think of that'll get you in the end, it's the ones you can't imagine, those unknowable risks that leave you totally unprepared, that's the unforseen that kills the coal miner. Sure, we might later find out it was because the mine owner took the canary for his daughter's birthday gift the previous month, but she didn't know that fact, and at the time we were all singing happy birthday, like it was the best of times, and maybe it was", Tommy says without an inkling of the flawed wisdom his words carry, as if the irony of his thoughts never actually crossed his mind on the way to his lips.

"But while you were all at that birthday party, and the little girl was naming her canary, that furnace's oil drum was sitting there empty for two years, and yeah, you might say it was a long party. And yeah it definitely was. Cause for two winters them gases were steady building up...just straight percolating. Til the pressure built up so much, it had nowhere to go, and nothing left to do, but blow my damn house up and cause the destruction of anything near it", he laments without a clue of the deeper meaning his words just conveyed.

"The big picture of what I'm trying to tell you is this: white flight is real - it's what happens after you chase the mexican neighbors out, and their hot water tank blows through the roof. It's not what happened in this case, it was the kerosene that got us this time, but we survived, because we were prepared for such an incident. That's why I say, it's the unforseen water heater rockets - they blow you right through the roof, lazyboy and all, and your dead. Consider that.", and with that I realized Tommy was like many conservatives, so close to grasping the bigger message, but too confused on some of the minute details to really understand it all.

Yet he did leave me with some small hope that there's still a chance they might get it someday. Although it's not at all likely.


The End.
No one is gonna read that *
5EBB6C98-401D-4E0E-8AF6-1B496A10DEEF.jpeg
 

LarryBird

Well-Known Member
Wow, your writing reminds me of that of Stephen King. Except when he writes a novel, he gets paid and well.
Uhhh, thanks, I think? Probably because we both suck, when it comes to overall writing abilities, but he's found a way to monetize (is this the understatement of a lifetime?) his (relative)lack of talent, and since I'm putting on a brown uniform tomorrow, I obviously have not.

I only write for the pure joy of it - the fact that I actually enjoy writing. I've never actually considered trying to write as a job, or get paid for it in any way, nor have I ever tried to get my writing published anywhere. These two facts keep a roof over my head, and save me the anguish of constant rejection.

So I'm cool with that.

It would definitely be cool to get paid to write or talk * on a podcast though, there aren't many better ways to pull down a paycheck than that, in my opinion. Especially if you're too short for the NBA.
 
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