We DON'T Need a Union!!!

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Jan 22, 2012.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I've just had an epiphany!! I have been SO wrong about FedEx for so long!! I've studied my Employee Handbook long and hard, listened closely to my Leadership Team, and re-watched every Frontline and IamFedex episode I could find. Just look at everything this company does for us!!

    90 Day Injury Policy----90 days and you're displaced!! What other company cares enough about it's people to offer them other opportunities within the company after only 90 days!!?? Nobody, and that's a perk you just don't see everyday either. Just think, after 20 years or so as courier, you get to be a CSA or cargo handler!! For less money too!! They want to see you succeed!! And if you have a life-threatening illness or long-term injury, they fire you so you can seek better opportunities elsewhere as you focus on your recovery. That's a company with a heart.

    Tuition Refund----FedEx will pay your way to go to school!! If you can actually make it to class, and the class conforms to FedEx policy, they will pay you back your tuition!! Oh, it can't be for about half of what's offered, and if your school interferes with your work schedule, that's too bad.

    Operational Need/Necessity--- If you are FT and have something really important to get to, like a medical appointment, a date with that hot receptionist, a wedding anniversary, or a child's school conference or appointment...you can't go if FedEx needs you!! This teaches us all to be personally responsible and schedule all of our life events according to FedEx needs, not ours. You get a couple of personal days, right? Just cram all of your events into those days!!

    5 Paid Sick Days Per Year--This is an extra special policy because FedEx wants you to be healthy. As an incentive, they won't pay you if you are sick more than 5 times in a year.

    Anthem/Blue Cross-- This is another incentive to be healthy because you'll wipeout your savings paying deductibles and co-pays. Plus, if you really get sick, Anthem will stall approval of your care long enough to get you eliminated on the 90 day plan or even sicker because you couldn't see the specialist!! Plus, the rates are so high in the first place that maybe you'll consider not even needing coverage when FedEx eventually kills the Medical plan entirely.

    Open Door/GFT/HR---I've lumped these terrific benefits together because they do such a wonderful job of protecting us from predatory managers and potential job loss. Why, FedEx is so confident that you will be treated fairly, that they won't even allow an attorney on the premises if you want one, and won't release any information either unless you take them through a protracted court process. My manager is going to listen to my concerns, and take appropriate action, especially if they are the offending party. And, I've got HR covering my back AND the GFT Process, where I can take my issue all the way up to Fred!! WOW!!

    P-S-P---Boy, have I ever been wrong about this one. Once I saw that it was written down on paper, and studied it over and over, it's obvious that People-Service-Profit lives!!

    FedEx Cares---Another one I was so wrong about. FedEx cares so much that they force managers to go out into the community and do good deeds, and then convince us that we need to go too. I treasure my T-shirts and Costco hot dog lunches and the chance to spend my day off helping FedEx be a good corporate citizen. That's why I max-out my United Way contribution too!

    Unions--- Booo!! Hiss!! Fred Smith loves us all so much that he doesn't want dirty Teamster thugs driving their black limos into our parking lots and handing us subversive flyers promising better pay and benefits. He is willing to pay politicians millions of dollars just to keep us safe.

    Retirement--- Rather than have us be "dependent", Fred wants us to make our own way and retire from our 401 k plans. By keeping raises low, it really challenges us to be entrepreneurial and maybe take a second job or keep driving that 20 year-old car for another 10 years.

    Long Topouts-- You know, if we reached maximum wage in 2 or 3 years, we'd have nothing left to aim for, so FedEx has made it possible to never top-out. That way, we'll always be shooting for the moon in terms of productivity and customer service.

    And finally, the Purple Promise. I realize that I need to give my all so rich people can get their iPod or Italian leather shoes on-time, every time. NO SERVICE FAILURES!! If the road is blocked, I'll drive down the railroad tracks if I have to to make service. Red lights and speeding? They mean nothing next to the Purple Promise!! And always remember, that the Purple Promise doesn't apply to us...only our customers.

    This is a GREAT COMPANY and woe unto any of you who continue to say bad things about Fedex.
  2. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Don't forget the support of coworkers who hate unions! I pointed out to a 22 year employee the other day that I'll be a 16 yr employee before I even qualify for the 5% raise. He said too bad, my fault for quitting. I asked him how long it took him to top out. 10 years, and he said it as if he suffered greatly to wait that long, and that it was no big deal that I was $4.27hr behind him after 13 years. The "I've-got-mine" mentality is alive and well in this company. Don't count on a majority of topped out employees to support a union, especially if they got a full or close to a full traditional pension. These are the folk who are thrilled to see their name on a banner. The "If-you-don't-like-it-why-don't-you-leave?" crowd.
  3. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Yes, these loathsome types gush over paper BZ's and the banner deal you mentioned. They also get 4 hour erections over being 100% or over on any SPH or compliance issues.
  4. Lordtekk

    Lordtekk New Member

    Don't forget even if you use any of the 5 sick days,they use to hold them against you when we got reviews. In regards to the 22 year employee,it did not take 10 years to reach top pay,he would have been in a year later then me and it took me 2.3 years to top out. They were called Step Raises,we got one 3 months in, then every 6 months we got one.
  5. vantexan

    vantexan Well-Known Member

    Yeah I originally started almost 26 years ago and topped out in just under 2 years. I'm thinking he misspoke. I remember when I had about 7 or 8 years in and thinking I was glad I got hired when I did.
  6. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    And we can feel proud here at FredEx whenever we lookup in the sky and see one of the FedEx jets carting around influential politicians who are more than happy to help $mith keep those nasty ol' unions out and keep wages and benefits low. But we can always feel warm and fuzzy when we see them up in the sky knowing they're enjoying another round of steak, lobster and champagne.


    I am so glad that I am keeping my 10 year old pickup and 9 yr old Kia, because I know it's the right thing to do. Why, if I bought a new car now, I would be flaunting the fact that a UNION (blech!!) member built it, and I supported him!

    And why would I WANT to retire? No more SPH goals and not having to get up at 0430 holds no appeal to me, I am FedEx through and through.

    I also absolutely LOVE it when one of the naysayers of FedEx gets fired and we get new door and gate codes to keep me safe! Fred loves us SSSSOOOO much, that he gave all his hard earned money to keep us under his loving and protective thumb.

    And I am so happy to have a job, that I don't mind the fact that I've been here for 15 years and I am still about $5 shy of top-out, that way I stay productive.
  8. P1 Lates

    P1 Lates New Member

    I've never worked for a company that offers you sick pay and punishes you if you use it.
  9. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    All this and still no better place to be.
  10. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    That's right, it could be worse. We could be Ground drivers. But then we wouldn't have to worry about where we deliver anything or when it gets there.
  11. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I agree. I'm happy as hell I'm not a Ground driver.
  12. Ghostwriter

    Ghostwriter New Member

    This is the coolest thread I have ever read...
  13. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

    MFE puts an unbelievable amount of thought and time into his posts. I think he's a comic genius.
  14. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Maybe. A little too hateful though. Need's a little less Olberman and a little more Stewart/Colbert for my taste.


    I was going to put him in with the late, great Sam Kinnison....just sayin
  16. P1 Lates

    P1 Lates New Member

    I'm wondering if its possible to get MFE into Frontline and just have his face distorted like they do with witness protection. Now I would certainley pay attention to that!


    That would be a Frontline that I would actually watch! Could do it "guerilla style" like you hijacked the broadcast...it would be awesome and it would go flippin' viral on YouTube.

    Maybe we could get the guys from ActionFigureTherapy.com to join in and let JungleRecon be our spokesperson...Hell Yeah!
  18. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I don't see it. Sounds more like an angry/whiny Jerry Seinfeld. The delivery should come across as less threatening, like a Bob Hope or Bob Newhart but with Carlinesque twist of impropriety. Jimmy Fallon maybe? A cleaned up Tracy Morgan? Maybe a rehabbed Dave Chappelle?


    I do see the Jimmy Fallon, but what about a Dana Carvey? He's not really a whiner like Seinfeld "what is the deal with airline peanuts?", more like a "well isn't THAT special?!!"
  20. Ghostwriter

    Ghostwriter New Member

    YEA! Hey MFE, are you reading this? You are like a poet or something (in this realm, anyway). I must admit I do love to participate on this forum. I have been way gone from fedx, yet I find myself still here with all of you. I guess I do miss the caliber of people I used to work with.